At Least We're Never Bored

Embarrassing Situation Narrowly Avoided

2012-01-19T21:05:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me or who has followed my blogs long enough knows that I'm a pretty open book. I'm like one big walking embarrassing moment after another and I'm usually pretty willing to share it. If I don't do something to humiliate myself each day, my kids find a way to do it for me. Yesterday's moment? Well, that was all me.
One of the joys of pregnancy is that I get to pee in a cup every single time I go to the doctor. Don't be too jealous, folks. There is nothing classier than a woman who is approximately the size of a small satellite trying to pee into a cup the size of something meant for a Barbie tea party. Anyway, I digress.
This doctor likes to have a sample from first thing in the morning after an overnight fast. Okay. I can do that. No big deal. Yesterday morning I got up, got my sample ready, got Liam off to school, woke up Aiden and the other kids, and got them off to school as well. It sounds simple, but getting that many kids up, dressed, fed, packed, and out the door WITH shoes and coats on is often easier said than done.
Finally, after they were all off on their buses, I only had Drezden left to get to pre-school before rushing to my appointment. I hurriedly packed his backpack, got all of my things together, and loaded into the car. I dropped him off with his backpack and rushed off to my appointment.
When I arrived at the doctor's office, I realized to my horror that something was missing. My cup of pee! Seriously?!? Where could it be?? And then I remembered the morning and even more horror washed over me. Drezden's backpack!!! How on earth could I possibly have left a cup of pee in my kid's backpack!?!?!? It was discreetly wrapped in a bag, but what if the teacher opened it? What if she thought it was something other than pee and tried to serve it up as apple juice? What if...? Well, let's not even got there.
I did my appointment, told the nurse where I thought the sample was, and provided another one all the while wishing I could get out of there and go get Drezden before something awful happened. I debated calling the school and telling his teacher about the mix-up, but what if she hadn't checked his bag? What if, by the grace of God, I'd managed to leave it somewhere else or something? Then I'd have fessed up and looked like a freak for no good reason.
Anyway, I finally make it to his school to pick him up and the teacher says "Oh! Drezden's main teacher put some paperwork in his backpack.". Aaaahhhhhhh!!! She's been in the bag!!! I grabbed his bag and looked. My bag wasn't in there. Had she found it and kindly thrown it out? Oh my gosh! Did she find it and think it was a beverage?? I had to get home as soon as possible. In my life, I've never prayed so hard to find a cup of pee sitting on my kitchen counter.
Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, I made it home. My heart was racing as I ran in the door. There, sitting on my table, was my bag with my extra special little sample. I've never been so relieved.
So there you have it, folks. No matter how crazy or embarrassing your life gets today, just know that you didn't accidentally forget a urine sample and have to spend the whole morning worrying that your four year old was carrying it in his school backpack.

Time For Updates? I Should Say So!

2012-01-19T07:23:00.000-08:00

Shame on me! I've been so busy being knocked up that I haven't taken the time to blog. Well that is sure to change. There are lots of updates and funny stories to tell, and by golly, I'm going to tell them. Little by little, of course. I'm amazing and everything, but I'm not super human. Well, mostly not super human. Until I have time to tell each individual story that needs to be told (and there are some doozies!), here are the updates.

Baby in my tummy is a GIRL and she's doing GREAT!
Liam turned three and is going to school full time and doing awesome at it. His new implant surgery went well and is considered a success! Oh, and he's in Sunbeams at church and no one has killed him yet. Amazing!
Byron's company is going through some big scary changes, but we feel like we'll be fine. We always are.
Christmas went remarkably well. We simplified it this year and the kids had a great time. We learned that the game, Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, can lead to great sibling rivalries (more to come on that story!).
Aiden is busy, busy, busy with his drama club rehearsals. I imagine he'll be the best monkey Alladin has ever seen.
CJ is loving cub scouting and hasn't accidentally shot anything...yet.
Rachel has turned into the ultimate drama clean. Enough said.
Drezden is cute as ever and talking a ton. He may be shy, but he's learning to hold his own.
Liam. Well, Liam is Liam. He's wild and crazy and messy and...well, perfect.

Okay, so those were boring updates I know. More to come very soon. I promise! No really! It's true.

The Twelve Days of Christmas..and a True Friend Gave To Us

2011-12-19T19:59:00.000-08:00

About a week ago, Rachel opened the door and exclaimed "presents!!" I looked out the front door and was beyond stunned to see that there were indeed 12 beautifully wrapped gifts. Each was labelled with a number and a note attached. We have no idea who it was, but someone found it in themselves to treat us to an amazing gift.

The children eagerly placed each present under the tree (except number twelve because that one said to put it in the freezer) and discussed what they thought could be inside each one. The anticipation was killing them and the joy and delight was just oozing out of them.

We decided to put everyone's name in a bin and draw names each night to decide who would get to unwrap the gift of the day. Each night before bed, we sing a Christmas song together, say family prayer, and open the gift. And each night I'm reminded of just how blessed we really are.

The gifts have been so cleverly chosen, each having its own little poem attached to it. My favorite so far has been the fifth day of Christmas with a poem that says something to the affect of, "If hearing's not your thing, enjoy these golden chocolate bells even though they don't ring". That one made me giggle and demonstrated just how much thought went into it all.

It hasn't even been about the gifts that has touched me so much. (Although the gifts have been VERY generous and kind and I can only hope that we will someday be in a position to pay this gesture forward). It's the joy and togetherness that this has brought to us that I'm so grateful for. We haven't missed a night of family prayer together, and we treasure that ten or fifteen minutes that we get to just be together enjoying each other's company. We feel so loved and so blessed to know that, even our little family isn't forgotten this holiday season. This has been so uplifting for us in the midst of Liam's surgery, and then repeat surgery, Byron's job being in jeopardy due to lay-offs, and just the general hustle and bustle of the holiday season. I love that this gives us a moment each day to pause as a family and realize the true meaning of Christmas. It's about giving and thinking of others and putting them before yourself. Helping my children understand that through this anonymous giver's example is truly the best gift of all.

We don't know who you are, but we hope you are out there reading this somewhere. We hope you know just how deeply grateful we are for your kindness and generosity. We are beyond touched that you chose us to receive this amazing gift. May you be blessed ten-fold for what you've done for us.

Lots of Doors Slamming. Thank Goodness for Cracked Windows.

2011-11-30T20:17:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a heck of a week. I know it's been a long time since I've updated, and I am working to amend that. Suffice it to say Halloween was swell and Thanksgiving was great. We did some stuff, we saw some people, and we ate some food. And we were happy. And we are still happy.

All that said, lots of doors have closed this week. First, Byron's department is being "dissolved". In other words, he's soon to be out of work. It should just in time for the new baby to come. Swell. We are a little bit bummed, but we will press forward. The really amazing news is that our bishop works at a company that probably has a place for Byron. It would be such a blessing to have that happen. We've also learned that a number of people are working to help Byron find a new job and are offering letters of recommendation for him. All of a sudden, we can really see just how many people are impressed with him and respect him enough to recommend him. It's a blessing.

CJ and Liam had their cochlear implants. HUGE blessing for CJ. Liam has a complication. I'm copying this from my other blog because I'm too lazy to type it, but here it is:

His surgery went well and he recovered quickly...too quickly in my opinion. We took him Monday to activate it and that's where the bad news came in. He can hear with it, but he can't control his head or body when it's on. An X-ray was performed followed by a CT scan today and both confirmed what the doctor feared had happened.

Liam's internal anatomy is very unusual. Highly unusual. Extremely unusual. (Are you getting the idea?) There is no bone between the bottom of his cochleas and his auditory canal, and a portion of the implant has landed in the auditory canal. CJ has the same anatomy, but by some miracle, he hasn't had this same problem.

The doctor is going to have to remove the implant and try to re-insert it so that it goes into the cochlea rather than the auditory canal. With the spinal fluid gusher that Liam has (caused because there is no bone to control the fluid), there is no way to see what is happening in there. There is also no way to know for sure that the implant has gone in the intended direction. It's possible that the doctor will have to push it in as far as he knows for sure that he can and leave the rest out. That leads to other issues like not having enough electrodes in the cochlea, but we can work around those issues.

The whole situation is very complicated, and admittedly a little bit scary, but it WILL be resolved. This is a very rare (never really seen) situation, so I guess I can be excited that Liam gets to be some sort of pioneer. I swear I should just call TLC and get my own tv show.

The good news is that we WILL get this worked out, and it doesn't look like it's going to cost us an arm and a leg. And Liam won't even remember it, so that's a HUGE blessing. The other good thing is that I spoke with the surgeon back in Dallas who did CJ's first implant. Since they have basically identical anatomy, I thought maybe there was a shot that he'd have a clue what to do. I was right! He's seen this kind of anatomy before and knows how to work with it. I'll be overnight expressing the CT scans and X-rays first thing in the morning for him to look at and help guide our doctor here.

I drove off with my computer and $500 worth of brand new hearing equipment on my van yesterday. That was a total downer. BUT, the computer was only cosmetically damaged and will be repaired for free with our Best Buy Black Tie coverage and the audiologist felt so sorry for us about Liam's implant that she's just going to replace the equipment I lost. See what I mean about doors slamming shut, but windows cracking everywhere? It's stressful, I'm tired, and we have reason to be concerned. But, we're not afraid. We will prevail just as we always have.

I'm thinking, worst case scenario, we could always call TLC and get our own show. We have kids with random weird disabilities and health issues, we have a lot of kids by today's standards, we're Mormon (and who doesn't love to watch a show about quirky Mormons, right?), and we're way more fun than John and Kate were. Plus we don't fight. We'd be perfect!!

That's What I Get For Joking About It

2011-10-21T11:26:00.000-07:00

A couple months ago, I posted our big "announcement" about CJ and Liam getting their cochlear implants soon. I wrote the post to sound as if I were announcing a pregnancy. Ha! We were pretty done with having kids, so it seemed funny at the time.

Shortly after that, I prayed for patience. Do you know what happens when you joke about being pregnant and then pray for patience? You get PREGNANT! Yep. That's right. Knocked up. That's me. We've known for about a month now, but I wanted to be cautious in sharing until I saw a heartbeat for myself on the ultrasound screen. Today we saw a very healthy little gummy bear-lookin' thing on the screen with a good, strong hb. So, there you go. That's a big announcement that's no joke.

Ninja Monkey Attack!

2011-10-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

I know it's been ages since I've updated the blog, but that's because I have so much to say and so little time to say it. That, and well...that's really the only excuse I have. I promise BIG and EXCITING updates on Friday. Promise. I think...

Anyway, moving on to today's blog post. Ninja Monkey Attacks! It seems they're rampant in our kids' schools and things are going missing all over the place, particularly Rachel's lunch box. She keeps forgetting to ask to check lost and found, so I sent her teacher an e-mail to remind her. I'm hoping it works. Tell me what you think. Here it is:

Mrs. F:

It would appear that Rachel has been attacked by ninja monkeys on her way back from the cafeteria to the classroom. It seems that the only thing they wanted was her pink Hello Kitty lunchbox. Since they're monkeys, I can only assume they wanted the food inside and then promptly placed the lunchbox lovingly in the lost and found box. Rachel keeps forgetting to ask to check in lost and found so is instead forced to suffer the shame and humiliation of carrying her brother's old Spider Man lunchbox. The horror! Can you please remind her to look for her lunchbox tomorrow? It is clearly labelled with her name.

Thanks so much!

-Aimee

The Dreaded School Fund Raiser

2011-08-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

Warning: This is going to be a rant (a funny one, but still a rant). I'm going to ramble on and on about yet another pet peeve of mine. The good news is that I am at least not going to ask you to go running home and beg your family to buy overpriced junk no one wants so that I can win a twenty-five cent prize that will break within minutes of it falling into my possession. There! Now that the disclaimer is done, I can proceed with my ranting and raving.

I am not a huge fan of home schooling. I admire families that do it, but I recognize my limitations and jail time sounds unappealing. Since one can't eat one's own offspring without going to jail, home school is out of the question for me. Really. I think I would eat my children if they were all home trying to learn something of value from me every day. It is because of this sad fact that my beloved offspring attend public school everyday. While there are many wonderful attributes to public school, there are also a few downsides. Nothing too huge, but still they are there. Well, okay. In my mind, some of them are huge, but my mind is apparently not like the normal human mind. Anyway, I digress. Let's discuss one of the BIGGEST downfalls of public school: The Dreaded Fundraiser!

I have taken off my rose-colored glasses and I do realize that schools are not given nearly enough funding to support what they need to do. This is a painfully obvious fact, and I fully understand that there has to be some way to help them earn the much-needed funds for the school. Since the principal has repeatedly refused to take up pole dancing on the side, it seems that the only other option is the standard school fundraiser. Well, according to the schools that's the only option. I will happily provide a few other options before my rant is over. First, let's talk about why I HATE SCHOOL FUNDRAISERS!!!

First of all, the quality of the product is worse than sub-par. Seriously. I know there's the option of purchasing chocolate, but who wants to spend ten bucks for five bites of chocolate that is probably older than Texas? Yes, wrapping paper is another option, but it must be lined in gold to justify it being the price that it is. I don't want to buy your knick knacks, thingamabobs, whoziwhatsits, or dinglehoppers. I don't want them!!! While we're on the subject, I also don't want your overpriced cookie dough. The only reason anyone ever buys those things is because the kids pimped out to sell them are so dang cute. I mean, how can any nice little old lady say no to some adorable freckle-faced kid who just wants to earn a sticky hand toy?

Then there's the "prizes". These are not prizes, kids. They're junk. Look, we can go down to the local Dollar Tree and fork over two bucks there and you can get pretty much any of the prizes you see in that fancy-shmancy "prize" catalog and you don't have to knock on strangers' doors or alienate your family members in the process.

Last year, Aiden's drama club put on an amazing play. It was phenomenal, but it couldn't be presented in the school during school hours. The show was "Aladdin:, so perfectly appropriate. Why couldn't it be shown? Well, because it took away from class time. Instead, the show had to be presented at the high school auditorium only in the evening hours. Interesting. Yesterday, my kindergarten and second graders were pulled from their classes for an assembly during which they were told about all the amazing things they could get if they were willing to rob their loved ones blind...oops! I mean, sell these fine products to them. The rep from the fundraising company is paid to get the kids excited to sell, sell, sell. I wonder if this is how drug dealers get started. I can see it now. Some kid is in rehab twenty years from now and says something like, "Hi. My name is CJ and I'm a drug dealer. I first got started when I was in second grade and I got the thrill of earning a rubber frog in exchange for hours of hard labor and about $350 worth of products..." See? This is a dangerous plan, folks.

At this amazing school assembly, they learned something else. They learned that the kids who sell various amounts of products would get amazing rubber frogs (or is it little ducks. I can't remember.) And, if they're wearing their frog, and the frog hunter finds them, they might get a prize from him. This may sound fairly innocent, but I have an issue with it. What about the kids who's parents aren't allowed to sell crap at work (like Byron) or who have siblings? They do offer a lovely family package for families with multiple children at the school, but it's still well beyond our means. So, while some kids are walking around with their fancy frogs, my kids get to feel like weenies because their parents aren't able to support the fund raiser. And, in case that isn't enough, the kids who sell whatever the quota is get to ride in a hummer limo to go bowling and play laser tag or eat Kona Ice out in front of the school while the other kids look on longingly. I'm all in favor of competition, but I prefer it to be competition in the form of something kids can actually control. Kids can't control whether or not their families can afford to participate in a school fundraiser. They can control whether or not they make some lovely artwork to sell, whether they do their best at a jog-a-thon, or any other similar activity. This morning at our bus stop, five out of seven kids at the bus stop were crying over the fact that they weren't going to have lucky frogs, ride in a hummer limo, or win an ipad.

Another thing about these fundraisers that completely irritates me is that the school only gets to keep a small percentage of what it earns. On average, schools only keep 40% of their earnings. Our school is smart enough to at least offer families the option of just making a donation so that 100% of the proceeds stay in the school, but their timing couldn't possibly be worse.

That brings me to my next complaint. Can we talk about timing? Yesterday was Day #7 of school. DAY SEVEN, PEOPLE! I know you want to get a jump on the earnings, but can we at least have the kids in the school long enough for the teachers to know their names before we start milking them for money? Sheesh! Families have just forked out an entire mortgage payment just for school supplies and clothes and NOW you're asking them for more funds? I'm thinking the timing is a little off here. How about right around May when people are getting their tax refunds and are flying high on the twenty-five cents Mr. Obama has found in his heart to give them? Maybe an end of the year fundraiser to fund the next year is a better choice, eh?

I try never to be one to complain without offering suggestions, so this is the part where I impart my brilliance upon you. Well, not really. All of these are ideas I've stolen from others, but I really like. Let this also be a public announcement to the powers that be in our local elementary school: If I make the suggestion, I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is and take on the responsibility of trying to pull it all together. That said, here goes nothin':
1. The ever popular silent auction and carnival event. The cafeteria is big enough that vendors could rent tables to promote their stuff while tables around the perimeter could be full of donations up for auction. For really big ticket items, each classroom could take on a theme to create a basket to be auctioned. For example, one class might take on Saint Louis Cardinals. If even half the kids in the class bring an item fitting that theme, it would create a great gift basket. Lots of families work for businesses that would be willing to donate items or gift certificates. "Fine Art" made by the children could be sold for whatever parents want to donate. The day of the auction, there could be a little carnival held with games that cost a nickel to a quarter each. Cake walks, bean bag tosses, bounce houses, watermelon seed spitting contests, etc. are always a huge hit. $50 at the local Oriental Trading vendor would buy enough cheap prizes for everyone who plays. If it's a school with a good sense of community, these types of events can bring in thousands of dollars that all stay in the school.

2. Local businesses and restaurants often have dine to donate nights. Thankfully our school is part of many of these. The only one we don't do is the Capri Sun Packet Brigade. Every empty capri sun packet is worth something like three cents. If you just put a bucket in the cafeteria for kids to put their empties packets in, you'd probably make something like $10-$20 a week. Easy and FREE for the school!

3. Jog-a-thons, math-a-thons, hop-a-thons, read-a-thons, etc. The kids find sponsors, get to do something fun and intellectually or physically stimulating, and the school earns lots of money that it gets to keep.

Okay. I'll stop now. I've ranted. I've raved. I've given my argument against school fundraisers, and I feel a little better. Actually, I'd keep going, but the kids just got off the bus and they are tearfully begging me to reconsider letting them sell something. I'm not budging. Have I ever mentioned just how much I HATE SCHOOL FUNDRAISERS???

Our Big Announcement

2011-08-19T11:55:00.001-07:00

So, Byron and I have been back and forth on this for a while. Sometimes we were fence sitting and other times we were both on the same page with one decision or another. We thought it was going to happen back in January, but things fell through and the doctor said it was just bad timing and to think about what we wanted to do and get back to him.

We decided to start trying to make it happen again so that we could time it around the kids' (especially Liam and CJ's) school schedules, but we just couldn't ever get it right. The timing would be off, or someone got hit with a fly ball which put us behind or...well, you get the idea. And, we weren't putting the effort into it that we probably needed to in order to make it happen. Finally, shortly before our trip to CT, we decided to really work hard on it every single day. I kept track of dates and times and recorded all conversations and everything and just really even put a lot of prayer into it asking Heavenly Father to please let it happen if it was His plan for our family.

Finally I got the most amazing phone call from the doctor today. The test results were in and all the documentation was double checked, and it seems that there is going to be a new set of ears born into our family!!! We don't know the exact date yet, but BOTH Liam and CJ have been approved for cochlear implants!!! This will be CJ's second, making him bilaterally implanted and it will be Liam's first. It's possible that we'll do both of Liam's ears at the same time. The dr. needs to look at the MRI and CT scans from his hospital stay back in June.

Anyway, there you go. That's my little announcement. It's kind of a big deal. My boys are going to hear!!!!

The Moment You Realize Life is Good...No. It's Great!

2011-08-06T11:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever experienced a moment where you look around and realize that your children are absolutely amazing and you know somewhere in your heart that all those worries and fears about what they might do or not do or become or not become are simply fears that will likely never come to pass? You know, like the fear that they'll grow to be pole dancers, convicts, corrupt politicians, or some guy with fifteen baby mamas? It's that moment where you can just tell that there is actually a good likelihood that they'll grow to be good people. You know somewhere in yourself that they will be able to contribute something to the world, and that they know what love, compassion, and kindness are. You know this because you suddenly realize that your children actually demonstrate those things every now and then.

It's that moment where you look over at your husband doing whatever it is that he does best to relax (in Byron's case, it's playing the piano for the pure joy of it) and you can't help but be overwhelmed with relief because you know you chose the right guy. During that moment in time, you know that this partner you've chosen is perhaps the greatest, most perfect choice you've ever made, and while he may show it in his own quiet way, you also know he loves you more than life itself. He loves you despite the fact that you always shrink his clothes, sometimes burn his dinner, you have those few tiny little teeth on the top of your mouth that don't match the others, your hair gets frizzy, and your flatulence is sometimes overwhelming.

It's in that moment that you look around your home, even with the sticky finger prints on the wall that you're really not sure what it is that caused those prints, and you realize it's a perfect home. It's a home filled with laughter and contentment. Okay, there's sibling rivalry there, too. And perhaps a few dishes in the sink. You feel moderately relaxed and like you belong in your home, and you know somewhere in your heart that this is the home you're meant to be in and the life you're meant to be living in it. Everything right down to the wimpy dogs and the snobby cat are just as they should be. While it isn't picture perfect, it's as close to Heaven as a person can ever be.

Have you had that moment? I can't really put my finger on what is different, but I've had that moment this past week. I've had more than one of those moments actually. Byron and I went away last weekend without the kids. One glimpse of life without them was enough for me to actually be wishing for my little poop-smearing Liam and his zest for experiencing life to its fullest extent. I found myself feeling like my arms were heavy without Drezden coming up asking for a random squeeze. I discovered that only needing to worry about dressing myself to make it out the door wasn't as peaceful as I'd thought it would be. I longed for Rachel to come up to me with twenty hair nobbies and beg to have every single one of them carefully placed in her hair at the same time. Walking on a floor free of lego clutter, while it was less physically painful than when I accidentally step on a lego, was a little boring. Where was CJ and his amazing lego creations? Where was his wild imagination and his vivid tales of all that would happen in or with the worlds he created with those silly legos? Dinner was quiet and content with no food flying or being used as an art supply, but where was Aiden to share his random fact of the day? I've learned more about the life cycle of various insects, the pooping habits of any living thing you can imagine, and gained trivial pieces of knowledge that would only ever do me good if I were a fifth grader looking to impress a girl. Dinner without that is simply food on a plate.

The time spent with Byron was well worth it. Without the distraction of the five small humans that live here, I was able to really focus on Byron and realize just how amazing he is. I fall a little more in love with him every day, but I found myself freakishly swoony for him almost every time I looked at him. I also noticed how grateful I am for him. There wasn't any particular reason for all this other than I just...well, I don't know really. There aren't words for it. I'm just grateful for him.

Since that moment that I realized life is good, it's as if things have only gotten better. We work more as a team. The kids don't LOVE doing there chores, but for some reason, they're doing them with minimal argument. To top it off, they're doing them correctly. They help set the table, clear the table, clean up whatever disaster Liam has made, sing songs together, come together in the evening for family scripture and prayer, and well...it's just good.

So, have you had that moment? Am I the only one? Surely not. Surely others have had that moment where you've just sat back, looked around, and had your light bulb go on, and you say to yourself " My life is good. No. It's great!".

I Wanna' Write A Book

2011-08-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

The title says it all. One of the items on the top of my bucket list is writing a book AND publishing it. I don't think I'm the greatest writer of all time nor that I'll win a Pulitzer Prize, but I'd like to think that maybe, just maybe, I have it in me to write a book. I've tossed the idea around before, but I'm going to have some time actually devote to writing once the kids go to school. I'll have three hours to myself three days a week that are mine and mine alone to just sit and write.

So, here's the big question: What do I write about? What do you, as readers, want to read about? The hilarity of life in the SuperMom home? The serious stuff? Poop? Goodness knows I have plenty of poop to write about. I think I'd like to make a compilation of short stories, but then I also think I'd love to write the story of us just as we are. What is interesting? I'll be watching for comments. Inspire me.

Alien Invasion

2011-08-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I got a call from one of my best friends back in Texas telling me that her family and she had decided that they wanted to spend their family vacation with my children so that Byron and I could go away alone for a weekend. I thought she was crazy, but took her up on the offer. So, this past weekend Byron and I went to see my family in Connecticut (an entirely separate blog post all of its own).

We left last Thursday morning feeling confident that we'd come back to find our children just as we'd left them. After all, what could really happen in just one weekend, right? I know. Famous last words coming from me. We've been home for just over 24 hours and I've come to the conclusion that things are nothing like they were before we left. I thought I'd left the children in good hands, but let's be honest. How could a caregiver not notice that five children had been abducted by aliens and replaced with look-alikes? I mean, Liam did paint with his poop two times while they were here, so maybe the aliens slipped in during the clean up and took the kids while the sitters weren't watching. It's entirely possible.

Let me just tell you what I mean.
1. During dinner last night, all of the kids asked for napkins. I thought I'd stopped buying napkins because they usually use napkins to spit the food they don't want into. I guess there were some left over, so I let them each have one. (The food wasn't SO BAD that they'd need to spit into more than one napkin). Much to my surprise, the children put the napkins in their laps. Yes, it's true. It's like they were trying to be civilized or something. (Well, except for Liam. He ate his napkin). That was only the first clue something was up.

2. After dinner, I asked them to please work as a team to help clear the table, sweep the floors, wipe down the table, and pick up any stray toys. Warning: What I am about to say may be disturbing for some readers. Feel free to stop here if you have a weak heart and are unable to handle too much of a shock. Are you ready for this? Okay, here goes. They ALL did their cleaning chores without arguing to its completion without me needing to ask a second time. Yes, this does include Liam. There is NO WAY this could possibly have happened without an alien abduction!

3. Right before bed, they all gathered to read scriptures and say family prayer. Granted they were rambunctious, but they were still all there. Even Stinky Liam sat still for a minute or two.

4. When I sent them to bed last night, they went! I know. I know. The horror of it all, right? Five children all in bed at nearly the time I'd sent them there. By this time, I was breathing into a brown paper bag and calling the Area 51 people. My poor alien-probed children!!!!

5. This morning when I went to get them up, I told them to pick up their rooms and make their beds. They did it!!! Further, they did it without any complaint and correctly. Drezden even cried a little because Liam messed with his hard work and left a lump in the bed. Making their beds?!?!? How could this be?!?!?!?!?!

6. I took all five of them on a three hour WalMart trip today. This trip should have earned its own blog posts detailing horrific incidents involving weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Instead, it was pleasant. All five were well-behaved and patiently worked with me to get school supplies and groceries. How is this even possible!??!

7. When we came home from the grocery store, I told them that they each had to take two bags at a time in the house until everything was brought in. I also specified that they'd need to put them in the kitchen for me to more easily unload. I only had to bring in three or four bags by myself. Not one kid even complained about it!!! By this point, I was practically hysterical just imagining what they must have been enduring while the aliens were trying to replace them.

8. At lunch, they sat nicely and then cleaned up after themselves. After lunch, they sat quietly in the living watching tv (the FIRST time it's even been on all day) and building legos as a team.

Even as I write this, I still can't imagine how it could be that aliens managed to get in here, take the children, and replace them with decoys while my friend wasn't watching. I hope it wasn't painful for the kids and that they are all okay up there in outer space while these strange little decoys take their places. And, I have to be honest. I'm nervous to let my friend come back and babysit again. What if the aliens come back and give me back the children I had to start with?? These decoys are GREAT!! Why would I ever want to run the risk of them being switched back?!!?

Oh, and a HUGE THANK YOU to Anne-Marie, Jeff, Jordan, Jackson, and Samantha for being such amazing friends!!!!

Happy Birthday, Rachel!

2011-07-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how it happened, but it seems Rachel has turned five years old. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing this tiny little person home. I guess I must have blinked and she grew up. She has friends outside of just Byron and me. She has her own little sense of humor and her own (admittedly strange) sense of fashion and style. She's amazing in every sense of the word.

We had her party yesterday at the sub-division pool with some of her closest friends. None of the kids drowned, got kicked out by the lifeguards, peed in the pool (that we know of), were struck by fly balls, or ran away crying. I'd say it counted as a successful party.

Of course it wouldn't be a party without way too many pictures to even talk about. Enjoy!

Fantasy Baseball Camp

2011-07-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

I was so excited on the day that CJ finished baseball camp because I'd gotten some pretty good pictures and wanted to blog them. Then Liam got hit with a baseball on closing night, and well, it just didn't get blogged. I hope you all can understand that I often find myself busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest and my blogging goes by the wayside.

With all of that said, this camp meant the world to CJ so I'm coming back to blog it right now. It's not so much that he gained a new skill in the game of baseball. On the contrary, I imagine he's still about as clumsy with a ball as he ever was, and that's fine. What mattered most about this camp is how "normal" CJ felt. His team leader was Deaf, his coaches were Deaf, his FRIENDS were Deaf. Some spoke with sign, some were oral, and some were like CJ using a little bit of both. Some had hearing aids. Others had cochlear implants. In the grand scheme of things, though, none of that mattered. At this camp, they were all just kids looking to have a good time.

I noticed that with each passing day, CJ's confidence grew a little bit more. Don't get me wrong. He's certainly not shy, and the kid has more charisma and spunk in his pinky finger than some people have in their entire bodies. CJ has always used his outgoing bubbly personality to distract people from the things he's not good at like socializing with kids his own age, gross motor activities, and really anything requiring him to step out of his comfort zone. Little by little, I noticed that he was realizing that he could do anything he put his mind to at camp.

It goes without saying that his favorite part of the camp was lunch and snack. He was pretty impressed that there were watering stations at each field, too. Each day he came home and told me in great detail about each and every snack or lunch he'd eaten. I know the majority of the food was donations from local restaurants and those sponsors are to be commended for a job well-done. If CJ liked it, it had to be good.

There were some pro ball players that came now and then to meet with the kids and sign autographs. I asked CJ if any famous people came to the camp to visit. His response? "Yep. Some firemen came to show us their truck. I got to sit in it, but it's not okay to honk the horn or turn on the siren. I'll remember that for next time." So, I don't know if any true celebrities came to the camp, but in CJ's mind they did. That's what really counts, right?

On the last day, CJ got to be part of an awards ceremony. He was pretty sure he was the camp MVP. We'll let him keep living in that little dream world. He did get a medal for having the furthest hit. I think the camp directors were being generous in granting him that honor, but he sure was proud.

That evening, we got to march into the minor league ball field (where Liam had his little incident) with the Energizer Bunny as a family. CJ was pretty sure he'd met a true celebrity with that silly pink rabbit. He was just as proud as any kid could ever be.

He's already talking about going back to camp next year. While I'm a little nervous about someone getting clocked in the head with a fly ball, wild horses couldn't keep me from letting him go anyway. For CJ, this truly was a Fantasy Baseball Camp.

Nothing is more thrilling than having a giant bird pitch you the ball.

Could he be any prouder? I think not.

CJ wanted a picture with his new friends from his team. Drezden decided he needed to be in the picture as well.

He was on a little team of just little guys. They'll grow, though.

He's pretty sure that trophy is going to be worth big bucks some day.

Team picture with coaches and team managers. He LOVED that little group.

It took me forever to realize that Energizer was a major sponsor because Deaf kiddos need hearing aid batteries. I'd like to thank Energizer for the one dozen batteries they gave CJ. Yay!

CJ proudly wore his ears as he marched onto the field with a giant pink bunny.

He couldn't control his excitement. Check out that look of triumph.

Rachel was also proud to march in with her giant pink ears.

Transportation Museum

2011-07-20T22:04:00.000-07:00

While Liam is at school and I'm forced to kill time with Rachel and Drezden, I usually try to find fun things to do. Some friends from church recommended a local museum all about transportation. I didn't have a ton of time to devote to walking through it, but I wish I did. It was actually more interesting than I expected it to be. While we didn't find Thomas the Tank Engine living there (Thank goodness! He bores me to tears.), we did find lots of his relatives.

U.S. Air Force Fighter Plane. The kids weren't real impressed with this. I thought it was pretty neat.

This was an old dining cart that the museum is working to restore. The kids weren't impressed with this, either.

We spent some time in the "Creation Station". The lady working there was a little goofy, but seemed very sincere in her love of her job. She made me laugh. The kids LOVED her, though.

Here is our Creation Station helper. She's VERY into her job.

Don't ask how a veterinary kit has anything to do with a transportation museum. I couldn't tell you, but it was there and Drezden is ready to spay or neuter your pet now.

They waited like real champs to ride the tram that would take them to the train. Who needs Disney Land when there is a transportation museum within 100 miles?

"Mommy, are you sure this tram will take me to the train?"

Bob the Tram Driver took us to the train driven by another driver in an equally cute hat.

Drezden felt that the tram driver had better driving skills than me. What does he know? He's three.

Learning Through Osmosis

2011-07-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

We get some zoo magazines every now and then. We recently got one from the Saint Louis Zoo, and I told Drezden he could have it. Apparently Liam was also very interested in learning about insects. Every now and then, I'll find him sleeping in funny places, but this one just made me giggle.

He Didn't Even Know What Hit Him...Literally

2011-07-03T14:47:00.000-07:00

It's only on rare occasion that I put duplicate posts on both of my blogs. This story is one that I want to remember for a long time to come. If nothing else, it'll give Liam something to tell stories about later. Here it is from my other blog.

I haven't posted in a while because I've been in the hospital with Liam. He's home now, and well on his way to a complete recovery but it was pretty touch and go for a while there. So, here's what happened:

CJ got to attend a local baseball camp for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing (another blog post soon to come with LOTS of pics), and the last event the camp offered was for the campers and their families to attend a minor league baseball game. We looked around, but had no luck in finding a babysitter for the three littlest ones so we opted to just bring them with us. Besides, what could possibly go wrong, right? Ha! These are SuperMom kids. Something will ALWAYS go wrong because that's just how we roll.

The kids were doing okay, but were certainly nothing short of wiggly worms. They were all over the place. One of the things they were most interested in were the promotions going on at the platform above the first baseline. Byron and I decided to go ahead and let Liam out of the stroller and put his backpack leash on him so he'd still be safely by my side. We went up to the platform where there were performing dogs and a few other booths that he could look at. When we got up there, we were talking to some of the other parents from the baseball camp when we noticed in a split second that people around us were ducking. Instinctively, we both ducked and covered our own heads. Neither of us covered Liam's head. That's a split-second choice we will both regret for a very long time.

The ball bounced off of something and hit Byron in the knee. He was really sore and rubbing it for a fraction of a second before we realized people were running at us at full speed with looks of horror in their eyes. That's when we noticed Liam laying on the ground by me. It took no time to understand that, in that split-second, the ball had hit him head-on in the forehead before bouncing off of him and into Byron's knee.

One of the team's management staff saw the whole thing happen and rushed us off into the backroom for ice and to be sure Liam was okay. I carried him and he whimpered a tiny bit, but really didn't cry much. I filled out an injury report while they got him some ice and someone else brought him the ball that had hit him. Apparently another spectator caught it, but felt that Liam had earned it more. In the time it took me to fill out the form, Liam acted fine. That didn't last long, though.

Within about ten minutes of being hit, I noticed he couldn't pick up his ice pack and he was staggering. He wasn't able to stand up straight at all. I quickly picked him up and noticed that his eyes were going back and forth. It looked like they were having seizures or something. I went back to the management guy we first met and said something was very wrong. He called 911 and his wife, who was at the game and a nurse. At this point, I was starting to panic a little bit.

The nurse was the first one to help him, and she could also tell something was wrong. He was responsive at that point, but was in need of medical help. Luckily, the ambulance was there within five minutes of being called. The paramedics put him in a neck and body brace and then strapped him to a backboard before loading him onto the ambulance. I went on the ambulance with Liam while Byron made arrangements with some friends who just happened to be there to help get the other kids home and taken care of so he could meet me at the hospital.

That ambulance ride was the scariest parenting moment I've ever had. He began to quickly deteriorate in his status. He lost conscienceness and his respiration rate went down to 6 breaths per minute. The paramedics couldn't wake him, so they bagged him to help him breathe as the ambulance screamed down the road. His blood pressure went sky high and then dropped very low. At that point, there was some debate about whether we'd make it to the trauma center in time. We opted to keep driving with the plan to go to a closer hospital if he got any worse to stabilize him and then get him to the trauma center possibly via life flight.

When we got to the Children's hospital, Liam was immediately rushed to a trauma room full of about 20 waiting care providers and I was taken to another area with a social worker to give information (and keep me out of the doctors' way while they assessed him.) Liam was then taken for X-Rays and probably some other tests while I waited for him. He still wasn't really with us at that point, and couldn't be wakened but he did respond to pain by pulling away.

Byron finally made it to the hospital and joined me while Liam sat in the hospital and he was taken from the trauma room to his own ER room with monitors all over the place. He was on an IV, but I don't remember all the details about why. I think they were providing fluids since he wasn't able to wake up and eat or drink himself. Over the course of the several hours we were in that room, his heart rate kept dipping for a few seconds at a time.

Around three in the morning Saturday morning, he was finally given his own room on a highly monitored unit and we just had to wait and see what would happen. Liam continued to sleep until late Saturday morning when he finally woke up.

Almost immediately upon waking up the vomiting started in full force. For the full day, doctors opted to take all food and drink away from him until the next morning. Sunday morning, teams of neurologists came to see him and ordered another CT scan of his brain. That CT showed what looked like a stroke. In addition, we noted that Liam wasn't able to stand at all and sitting always resulted in falling far to the right.

Because of the CT results, and MRI was ordered for him the next morning (Monday). Because of the way he was acting (unable to hold his head up very well, vomiting, etc.), there was legitimate concern that he'd had a stroke. Some priesthood holders from church came and gave him a blessing on Sunday night and we just sort of held on to faith that the blessing would at the very least bring him comfort and keep him free of fear. The MRI results came soon enough and showed no damage at all. We were very blessed.

From that point, ENTs were brought in, an audiogram was done to be sure he didn't lose anymore hearing with the hit (he didn't, by the way), and we just watched and waited. Each day, he got better and better. Doctors kept looking for clues as to what was causing so much trouble with walking, but at least we knew he was continually improving.

Finally on Wednesday morning, I was talking to an ENT and told him just what I had been seeing in him. He ran a quick test at the bedside and finally saw the nystagmus in his eyes. That was all we needed to confirm what was wrong. A neurologist followed shortly behind and ran the same test with the same results. Basically, the otoliths in his ears were not in the right position and were throwing off his balance. It's expected that they will eventually fall back into place.

He still is a little "spacey" and doesn't always seem to be totally with us, but he is walking and running on his own. His wild and crazy disposition is returning, and I'd see he's doing great. He just can't seem to walk with shoes on. The pediatrician saw him Thursday morning and thinks he's grinding his toes into the ground to help him find a center of balance.

He also got a visit from the baseball team's mascot and president who brought him a team autographed bat from the game, signed his ball, and gave him a team bobble head toy (how ironic, right?). They also invited him to throw out the first pitch at a home game WITH a helmet and seats safely behind some nets.

All in all, we are feeling very blessed that he's still with us. We were lucky to have so many people help with the other four kids and bring in meals, etc. I had no idea how blessed we truly are with amazing friends who care about us and our crazy children.

As for Liam, it's safe to say that he didn't even know what hit him. Thank goodness!

Mr. Empathy

2011-06-19T17:05:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things about Aiden is that he has a great sense of humor. The kid is hilarious and never misses a chance to crack a joke. We won't even talk about how sarcastic he can be sometimes. I think his sense of humor has served him well in most instances, but sometimes it gets him into a little bit of trouble. Today could have been one of those "getting in trouble" times, but I think he managed to get by with little or no beatings because he was in church at the time.

Apparently they were in Sharing Time at Primary and were talking about empathy and helping those who are suffering. The teacher was asking the kids to discuss things they could do to help others and gave the example of a friend who's parents have just gotten a divorce (or something like that). The other children all called out answers like, "I can pray for them." or "I can listen and be their friend if they're sad". My kid gets called on and says "I can get them a link to www.eharmony.com". Very funny, Aiden. Way to show just how sweet and empathetic you can be.

Proud Mommy Moment

2011-06-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

Aiden has had a rather eventful year what with the incident involving him being given in school suspension for saying something that even the administration acknowledges he didn't mean to say and wouldn't ever say again. He's had a new (and AMAZING teacher), enjoyed the benefits of his new school, gone to fifth grade camp, made new friends, learned some crazy new skills, hit on some fairly cute girls, and well...he's done pretty dang well. Even with his one "incident", I must say that I am thrilled with the school and delighted with how well this transition has gone for him.

I got to have my proud Mommy moment when I got a letter in the mail inviting me to his awards assembly because he earned an award. Hopefully the picture is clear enough that you can see what it is. In addition to the one in the picture, he also got perfect attendance. Yep. I'm proud. Way to go, Aiden. I always knew you had it in you!!!

Can you see it? That's the Presidential Award for Outstanding Academic Achievement, and it's even signed by our own Barack Obama.

WalMart + Five Kids+Saturday = NEVER. AGAIN.

2011-06-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Father's Day and I thought I'd figured out just what I was going to do for Byron this year. I was going to prepare him his favorite meal and make a cheesecake using our friend, Tracey's, recipe that Byron just loves. It was going to be perfect! Then he came home from weighing in at Weight Watchers. The news wasn't good and he's recommitted himself to losing the weight. Wait!!! What?!!?!? What about my amazing plans? Suddenly I found myself with less than 24 hours to the big day that we all sit down and say wonderful things to our dad's and hubbies, and I had nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. I did what any good wife who loves her husband more than life itself would do. I packed up all five little monkeys and went to *gasp!* WalMart.

I don't know what it is about WalMart that brings out the crazies in people, but it seems to be heightened even more on Saturdays. I made sure the children were well-fed before we got there (Sonic counts as well-fed, right?), made sure they were all wearing shoes, reminded them that we were in civilization so acting like they were raised by wolves simply wouldn't do, and prayed that this trip would go smoothly. I guess I should have clarified for God what I meant by going smoothly because He seems to have thought that all five kids coming home alive would be good enough. I had slightly higher aspirations, but that's okay. Who's really counting?

The first thing on the WalMart agenda was picking up Drezden's glasses that had been repaired and replaced for the 1,745,323,129th time. That didn't take very long because we've been there so many times that they know all five kids' names, interests, birthdays, and blood types. We managed to get out of the vision center before anyone took more than 100 pairs of frames off the shelves to try on and created a complete disaster.

Then I went about the bigger business at hand; I needed a great gift for Byron. This should seem like a seemingly easy task, but I was doing it with all five kids in tow. Aiden was "totally bored" and only wanted to go play with his friends. CJ was climbing out of his own skin just dying to get to the toy department "just to take a look, not to touch anything. I promise." Rachel was just sure she needed new hair nobbies. Drezden was, as usual, walking as slow as humanly possible. I think he got run over by an old lady with a walker and a pet slug or something. Honestly, it's hard work to go that slow. Then there was Liam. He was busy taking his shoes off and throwing them at other shoppers as they walked by. Each time I apologized to whoever came by, I would turn to Liam and say "Little boy, that is a bad choice. Where is your mother??". I'm not sure the diversion really worked, though.

I finally decided that I was going to get Byron a big rubber bucket thing and fill it to the brim with yummy treats that are Weight Watchers friendly. I got him some Sprite Zero, 100 calorie snack treats, and then headed to the candy aisle for the Weight Watchers brand candy they had there. Note to self: All hell will break loose if the children are ever given an opportunity to walk through the candy aisle in WalMart. Swedish fish were flying into the shopping cart as fast as I could pull them out, M&M's of every flavor and color were desperately begged for, Snickers were whined for,and there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. After what felt like an eternity (but was really only about five minutes), I finally managed to get out of that dreaded aisle. Everything I needed for Byron was in the basket, but I wanted one more thing.

Byron has mentioned that he really wanted to play croquet with the kids, so off I headed to the toy department to get not one but two croquet sets. I needed two because our family is too big for just one set to be enough. What is important in that statement is not that I was hunting for a croquet set. It's the fact that I ventured anywhere near the toy department. Surprisingly, that part went smoothly. Just past the toy department, though, is the restrooms that are in the back of the store. My children must have some kind of bladder dysfunction because they simply can not pass a public restroom without needing to use it right away. I let Aiden take Drez to the bathroom while I waited with the other three kids out in the electronics department right by the Wii games. CJ quickly realized all the games that were there and decided he might have died and gone to Heaven. He began rambling on and on faster than the speed of light about each and every game he saw and even felt the need to give a discourse on the beauties of each game to some poor unsuspecting dad that was there with his son. That poor man shielded his child's sensitive eyes and made a hasty run for it.

Once Drezden was finally done and I managed to drag all of them from that section, I headed to the grocery area for a few items to allow my little brood to eat in the next couple of days. I figured the grocery section would be safe because it's relatively boring and there are minimal distractions to lead the small humans astray. I couldn't have been more wrong. WalMart on Saturday in any section of the story is a nightmare for any parent venturing there with five children by herself. I got to the bread aisle and there was an adult-size bunny bread brand bunny handing out coupons. Before I could say one single word, the kids ran at him. "Stop! Do NOT run over the giant brown rabbit in the bread aisle!". I didn't really want to yell and draw attention, but I also didn't want the guy in the costume to get clobbered. I think CJ may have accidentally goosed him, but the bunny was at least still standing upright when we walked away. I decided that I was more than done there and headed to the check-out line. The next thing I knew there was a life-sized Tony the Tiger walking through the store. What the heck?!?!? Since when are giant fuzzy characters part of the WalMart experience? After I managed to pry the kids from Tony's fuzzy orange and black leg,I bee-lined it to the check-out line. I was afraid the entire Disney family would be there if I stuck around much longer. Or maybe the jolly green giant or something.

I finally got all of my groceries on the check-out thing and figured out that I was (as usual) stuck in the line with the people who wanted to pay for each item separately and had to argue over the cost of each item. Then, Rachel and Drezden noticed the restrooms by the cashier station and suddenly had bladder and bowel failure so they needed to run immediately in there. I couldn't do a dang thing about it because I was still trying to pay for our items. Aiden couldn't help because they went into the ladies' room, and CJ was still trying to find something to buy with the $1 coin he'd found earlier in the week with Byron.

After all the groceries were packed into the cart, I went into the bathroom and pulled Rachel and Drezden out. As I was trying to get them to unlock their stall and then haul them out, my purse dropped with a thud and Drezden started to cry. I'm sure it sounded like I was beating my kids in there. I wasn't, though. Really.

I finally hauled Drezden out with no shoes on (he had stripped almost totally naked!) and screaming, dragged all the other kids behind me, and headed to the van where I got them all packed in and buckled, put the groceries away and determined that I would NEVER again go to WalMart alone on a Saturday. Never!

Finally Accomplished Something on My Bucket List

2011-06-18T14:03:00.000-07:00

It's entirely possible that I live under a rock. It's not even necessarily a huge rock, but I think I live under it anyway. There are things that I think the average American person has done in their lives that I've never even dreamed of doing or somehow just missed out on. Senior Prom, for example. (That may have been partly my fault for not being a good girlfriend to a great guy, which resulted in us breaking up shortly before prom, and him taking some other skeevy chick instead of me, but that's a whole other blog entry anyway, right?). It's those things that we've always sort of wanted to do but haven't ever been able to do that are on our bucket lists. Last night I finally got to check one off. I went to my first real concert. Well, I guess I have been to one other concert when I took the kids to see Imagination Movers, but does that really count??

Yes, it's true. I am 33 years old and had never been to a concert before last night. I remember when I was in high school begging my parents to let me go see Tiffany with New Kids on the Block at Lake Compounce. Alas, it never came to pass and I think I was the only kid in the entire school who wasn't hangin' tough and had the t-shirt to prove it. That's right, people. Up until last night, I was a concert virgin. I was untouched by the adrenaline rush that comes from being in a huge crowd while some amazing artist is covered in sweat as he performs his finest music. Well, I'm a concert virgin no more...and I think I'm addicted!

A friend of mine at church was given season passes to a series of country music concerts from her husband for Christmas. They were planning to go together, but he was going to be out of town for last night's concert. She read on facebook that I hadn't ever been to a concert, so she invited me. ME!!! For once I was cool enough to be invited to a concert. I was so excited about the big event that I even splurged and brought brand new lip gloss!!!

I got babysitters lined up, purchased a good rain poncho (it was raining and we had lawn seats), applied my fancy lip gloss, put on my cute denim capris and a fancy little top, pulled my hair back, and was ready to go. I could. not. wait.

My friend picked me up and off we went. I was so giddy inside that I just rambled on and on about whatever and probably talked her ear off. Finally we got there, and I was excited just to be in the parking lot. I wondered if I'd find myself under a cloud of someone else's second hand pot smoke or something like I'd heard about from others. Or maybe I'd witness someone making babies out in the grass somewhere. Or maybe I'd see girls taking off their bras and panties and throwing them at the performers. Oooh! Or for a real thrill, maybe I'd witness a riot and see people being hauled off to serve hard time by the police. For the record, I didn't see any of those things and I STILL had an awesome time. I did see some girls in outfits that barely qualified as clothing, lots of beer, and even a couple of mullets. Yep. Country music. It was AWESOME.

When we got there, some vendors were selling seat upgrades for $10, so I sprang for it and got us both upgrades. Oh my gosh! It was so worth it! We were in the center of the ampitheater with the stage dead ahead of us. We got to sit on real chairs that even had cup holders. Cup holders!!! Whoa!

Finally, as the sun went down the first act came on. He was okay and I recognized some of his songs that I could even sing along with. Then it happened. BLAKE SHELTON CAME OUT! He had a five o'clock shadow, wore a denim shirt with a cool design on the back, played the guitar like no one's business, and he was sweating. How do I know he was sweating? BECAUSE I WAS THERE!!! I'm pretty sure he was singing just to me. Well, maybe to a couple of other people too, but mostly just to me. He was amazing, and I think I might have been swooning a little bit. It made me wish Byron was there to share it with me.

Then, BRAD PAISLEY CAME OUT!!! What a performance he gave. He came right out to the audience and played up in the "cheap seats" where we were. He was maybe ten rows in front of me and I was kicking myself for not having my camera with me. There were lights, guitars, an amazing fiddler, people everywhere, and a lot of sweat. What is it about music that makes people sweat?? Who cares? It was so much fun!!!! At one point, Brad invited people to make out to the one song he was singing. I wished again that Byron was there with me because...well, I really liked the friend I was with, but she's not so much my type. I'm really more into dudes that I'm married to. So, instead of making out we sat back and sipped our lemonade while the drunks around us made out.

So, there you have it. One thing is knocked off my bucket list and I couldn't possibly be more thrilled about it. I can't wait to go again!!

Ladies' Man

2011-05-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

CJ has always enjoyed flirting. He's good at it, too. REALLY good. I"m pretty sure I'm in really big trouble when he gets older. He's been known to offer up written marriage proposals to two different girls within the same hour. Perhaps he's still confused about the Latter-Day Saint church's stand against plural marriage? Or maybe he's just keeping his options opened? Who knows? This is CJ we're talking about here.

A few months ago, a new young couple happened to move into our ward. They're sweet and fun and CJ noticed that they (ok, he's really focused mostly on the cute wife) just happen to both be rather aesthetically pleasing. The wife has long flowing hair, a flair for fashion, and a beautiful smile. All of these are things CJ ALWAYS notices.

To say that CJ has flirted with her a bit would be being polite. The kid has thrown himself at her repeatedly. Don't worry. She's been loyal to her husband despite his best efforts. He came home and told me he loved her, and the following conversation ensued:
Me: CJ, you should probably know that Kayla is married.
CJ: What?! She can't be.
Me: Yes, it's true.
CJ: (without skipping a beat) Well, how much does she really like her husband?
Me: (stunned that my kid is trying to become a seven year old home wrecker) A LOT!

A few Sundays later, Kayla wore her hair up in a loose bun. CJ must have taken notice of it because the following Sunday she wore it down and he said "Kayla, I'm so glad you've let down your golden hair". (I think he may have watched "Tangled" a few times to many.)

She also has a sense of style he must like because he had this conversation with her as well:
CJ: I like your shirt.
Kayla: Why thank you, CJ.
CJ: (after waiting a few seconds) Aren't you gonna' say you like my shirt?!?

Finally Kayla introduced him to her husband (who she really does like, by the way). He was kind and smiled at him and talked to him. I asked him later what he thought of Josh (the husband)
Me: So, did you meet Josh?
CJ: (curtly) Yes.
Me: Well, what did you think?
CJ: (putting on a stiff upper lip) Yeah. I guess. (Walks away quietly).

What I've failed to mention is that CJ used to have a little crush on a girl his own age. Shocking, I know. We'll call her R. She's the cutest thing this side of the Mississippi, and I could take her home in my pocket in a second. While she doesn't love him back, I think she did kind of like the attention. She came and talked to me at a church function last night, and the conversation had me rolling with laughter.
R: Sister SuperMom?
Me: Hi, R. How are you?
R: I have to tell you something about CJ.
Me: Ok. What's up?
R: He says he doesn't like that Kayla is married.
Me: Yes, I know. He's so silly.
R: I think he loves her.
Me: Really?
R: (crosses her arms and looks sternly at me) He used to love ME. (walks off grumpily)
It was truly all I could do to stifle my laughter.

So there you have it. CJ isn't even eight years old yet, and he's already breaking one of God's top ten rules by scoping out another man's wife. Nice. How is it possible for a kid his age to be such a ladies' man??

Everything I Never Knew I Wanted

2011-05-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

I remember as a little girl sitting with my cousins, Dawn and Christina, and we'd pretend and pretend and pretend about what life was going to be when we grew up. We played Barbie, hide and seek, and a whole host of other things. With all of that, the game that stands out most in my mind was playing house in their basement. It seems like we played house down there for hours on end. We imagined all sorts of scenarios. I think I even remember pulling out Olivia Newton John records and dancing our cute little hearts out to "Let's Get Physical" and then the Madonna record that had our other favorite song, "Material Girl". We were fully prepared to grow up and be famous dancers or rock stars...or something. Dawn and Christina had been in some dance classes, so they even had all the fancy outfits to dance in with tons of sequins. I think I might even remember some kind of blue head band thing with a rather large feather sticking out of it. At any rate, suffice it to say we were really good at pretending together.

As we grew up, our "when I grow up" dreams changed a little. We were too big to pretend anymore, and I guess it wasn't something we talked about much, so I can't say I know for sure what they wanted to be "when they grew up". I can say that I thought I knew exactly what I wished to become.

I knew I loved the theater. I had a high school drama coach who got theater into my blood, and there was no turning back. I especially loved technical theater, but I really enjoyed acting too. (Just, please for the love of all that's good in the world, do NOT ask me to sing). I wanted to work somewhere in show business, I thought. I didn't particularly care where. I spent some time studying technical theater in college and the business end of it really sucked the fun right out, so I knew I wanted to do something different when I grew up and save theater as a fun hobby.

Ultimately, I got my associates degree in interpersonal communications and my bachelor in Social Work, but have spent the majority of my time teaching pre-school or doing autism therapy. As I got older and busier with "real life", I guess I stopped thinking about what I wanted to be when I grow up. It didn't really occur to me until today that I have everything I never knew I wanted.

I'm not that famous theater person I thought I'd be. I don't drive a fancy car and have lovely jewelry. I don't know one single famous person that I can name drop for you. Not one. To suggest that my wardrobe is humble would be an understatement. I only have about two (maybe three) pairs of shoes and one less than stellar purse. There is nothing fancy about my home nor anything spectacular about my yard. My nails aren't well manicured, and my hair spends the majority of the time up in a pony tail. If it's ever left down, it likely has some strange sticky substance in it lovingly placed there by one of my five children. My make-up collection consists of some lip gloss, eye liner, and mascara. I do have some lipstick that I reserve for "special occasions". I don't have the title of director, doctor, therapist, or Nobel prize winner. My title is just three little letters that you can spell the same way backwards and forward. Mom. Quite honestly, I live a rather simple life that really isn't likely much to talk about in the eyes of others.

Somehow, though, I realized today that I have everything I could ever wish for. If I found a star to wish upon right this very moment, I'd have stand in silence as there isn't a thing I can imagine that I am without. Instead of all the fancy stuff I thought I wanted in my youth, I have gifts that can't be purchased anywhere else in the world. They are the finest gifts of all.

I have sticky finger prints on almost every window in the house. I have french fries on the floor of my van and stickers carefully placed on my van window after many harrowing pediatrician visits. I have bags under my eyes from more sleepless nights spent consoling a crying baby than I can count. I have broken finger nails and dishpan hands from washing dish after dish after dish full of chicken nugget dip and barely touched vegetables. I have toothpaste smears all over my bathroom sink each night after five little mouths have been not so carefully brushed with "bubble mint" Buzz Lightyear toothpaste. I have boogers crusted on my shoulders where a child laid his head for reassurance after falling and scraping his knee or having had his heart broken by a friend. I have little tiny hand prints all over my butt from giant spirits who are trapped in tiny little bodies running up and hugging me forgetting they'd just eaten ice cream...or yogurt...or a chocolate bar...or pudding...or, well you get the idea. I have a mountain of laundry that I doubt I'll ever really find the bottom of. That mountain is loaded with stains that will likely never come out but represent hours of laughing and giggling as little people played chase and constantly fell on the grass staining their knees or chocolate smears all down the front of a beloved shirt that happened to be worn at the same time we spontaneously decided we needed chocolate sundaes. I have toys strewn from one end of the house to the other, each representing a silly game or even perhaps a game of make believe just as I used to play with my cousins. I have stacks of first grade homework and the non-stop chatter of a fifth grader who just has to tell me all the latest cafeteria gossip right now or he's just going to burst. Instead of fine art gallery art, I have a lovely collection of hand-drawn rainbows and misproportioned drawings of "me" lovingly hung on the refrigerator. I have a plastic sippy cup on my counter with the lid removed so that the bouquet of freshly picked dandilions will have just the right vase to sit in as they grace my counter top.

The list could go on and on because, really, I have it all. My children know they are loved, even though they sometimes question it when some "completely unfair" rule is enforced. (I only wish they could know how much more it pains me to enforce rules than it hurts them to have a consequence inflicted). I have children who know how to laugh, how to pray, and how to love. I have taught them who God is. I have shown them that they can be anything they want to be. I have a husband who loves me more than words can say and sacrifices his whole self for our family on an almost daily basis. Indeed, I would contend that I am the richest woman in the world.

My life today is certainly not the picture of what I thought it would be all those years ago when I would play with Dawn and Christina and we would pretend what we would be when we grew up. It's not even the picture of what I thought it would be when I was in high school and was sure I had the world all figured out. I don't think it's even quite what I thought it would be the day I knelt across the alter and married the man of my dreams. It's better than all of those things.

Today, as Mother's Day comes to a close and my children cry because they're just sure they don't need to go to bed and they just can't bear to sleep without a certain beloved toy or are missing a favorite tv show, I am grateful beyond measure for it all. I can honestly say that I now have everything I never knew I wanted.

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like That

2011-05-05T14:15:00.000-07:00

I know a lot of my readers (I say that is if I think I have many readers, ha!) come to this blog to read about my life and feel better about their own. I'd say that's fair considering that my life is truly Grand Central Station all the time. That, and the antics that happen in our house are funny. I'm actually grateful for the fact that I can look at life and just laugh at the way it turns out sometimes. In fact, even as we speak, Liam is roaming the house terrorizing toilets completely in the nude. Yep. It's true. I imagine you're wondering why I'm sitting here blogging while he wanders naked, right? Well that's a fair question and the answer if very simple: I'm all out of duct tape. That's right. All out. It's gone. Kaput! Without duct tape, there is really no way of keeping his diaper on. For that matter, there isn't much hope of keeping his pants on either.

Anyway, Liam's current obsession with nudity isn't the purpose of this fantastic entry. The main purpose is to once again remind others that life could be worse. Really. It could. In the last 24 hours, I have experienced all of the following incidents. You'll note that most of them were brought on by Liam, but all of my fine young ~~heathens~~ angels had their fair share of creative contributions. Here you go. The list of events that represent my life in the last 24 hours is as follows:

1. One 1-pound unopened box of elbow macaroni opened and dumped over the entire kitchen.
2. Two fully loaded stinky diapers emptied and smeared anywhere that certain naughty little fingers could reach.
3. Five hotdogs devoured and promptly exploded into the above-mentioned diapers.
4. The removal of a two year old from my dishwasher occurred well over fifteen dozen times.
5. Rachel stole Drezden's toy. CJ stole Aiden's remote. Liam stole Drezden's glasses. Liam stole everyone's everything. Drezden pulled Rachel's Barbie's hair. ( I realize those are all several different things, but I counted them as one thing because that helps make my list shorter and minimizes how awful it all sounds on paper.)
6. The crib was rendered useless as a containment device for a two year old.
7. Three beds were wet...and not with water.
8. One bathtub's contents was systematically emptied onto an upstairs bathroom floor.
9. A fence gate was left open leaving opportunity for the dog to go wandering throughout the neighborhood.
10. It was discovered that chairs could be moved and used to climb up and reach just about anything, which led to the discovery that there really is no "safe place" for anything we don't want little people to get hold of.
11. Death defying leaps from crib rails were made and survived...barely.
12. Multiple walls were decorated with important creative mediums such as crayons, pencils, markers, sidewalk chalk, and poop. What? I already mentioned the poop? Well, it's disgusting enough that it deserves at least two mentions.
13. At least two plates were thrown and broken. They were the ones that are supposed to be "smash proof". Maybe that company should meet my kids before they make promises like that.
14. Jellybeans were removed from the hair and ears of one child, and just from the hair of another one.
15. Three lost wii remotes were found and promptly lost again.
16. Dinners were made and rejected followed by tears of hunger pains because "there's nothin' to eat in the whole house".
17. After an entire school day and dance practice, it was pointed out that one of the small humans was wearing her shirt backwards.
18. Five bags of trash were taken to the trash can...and it wasn't even a deep cleaning day.
19. An entire package of oreos was mysteriously consumed, but no "not me" is the only one fessing up to eating it.
20. Naps were neglected in exchange for hours of whining, crying, and systematically destroying.

If, at any point, you read this list and things weren't spelled out clearly enough feel free to let me know. I'm happy to expound. In the meantime, I'll be waiting for the laundry fairies to come, the personal chef to start cooking and organizing the kitchen, and for calgon to take me away.

Super Terrific Yard Sale Bargain

2011-04-15T17:14:00.000-07:00

I have been eying this set at Target for YEARS now. Years!!!! I just could never bring myself to spend $120 plus the time to assemble it. Then there is the issue of buying the food and accessories for it. Still, I have wanted this thing oh so badly for may, many, MANY months now.

Our subdivision has two set weekends a year for people to have their yard sales. It's completely crazy and wild, but the bargains are worth it. I usually will drive through, but not stop for much. I was driving by one today and there it was. It was in all its glory. I HAD to stop and get out immediately to look more closely at it.

The price tag? $35. Surely something was wrong with it. Scratches, dings, dents? Anything. Nope! It didn't even have a finger print on it. To top it off, it had food and accessories for it. There is an oven mit, crazy utensils and so much more. Could it be true? Could the gods really be looking down on me with smiles and allowing me to get something for my kids that I've always wanted for them? Really??!!?

I asked the seller about it and she told me her granddaughter had gotten it this past Christmas, but didn't want it. She never even touched it. Are you kidding me?!?!? THIS is a work of art. It was so new that it still had all the stickers on each piece of wood that tell where each piece went. Literally, this fine toy had never even been touched by little hands.

I can't imagine the child who complained that she didn't want it, but I must say I'm oh so grateful. There is no way I could have gotten this for my kids with all the stuff to come with it at this price. As a bonus, it's even already assembled. All four of my youngest kids are so excited. They've been cooking, mixing, stirring, eating, selling, concocting and anything else you can imagine four young children can do with a brand spanking new kitchen set.

My house is a mess and there are dishes and laundry to do, but I don't mind one bit. Tonight I will sleep like a baby. Why? I'll be resting well knowing that I, AimeeTheSuperMom, scored a super terrific yard sale bargain.

More Than Just Monkeying Around

2011-04-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

After a whole lot of excitement, a ridiculous amount of practice, and plenty of stage make-up, Aiden finally had his play last night. He worked so hard to prepare for the audition that I thought he was going for the role of Aladdin. Nope. The bad dude? Nope. Princess Jasmine? (I prayed he'd say no to that one). Nope. What then? The monkey. My kid worked his tail off to earn the part of Aladdin's monkey side-kick named Alakazaam.

The role itself required him to learn a total of about five lines, but had him on stage the whole time. Really, I think that was the genius behind his choice. He knew he could be in front of the audience a ton without having to remember much. And, let's be honest. Turning himself into a monkey isn't exactly a huge stretch.

What I didn't know was just how good he was. Oh. My. Gosh! The kid actually had some talent. Stranger after stranger told me how he'd stolen the show. He took the role of monkey and comic relief and brought that silly character to life. The whole play was very well-done, especially considering that they were fourth and fifth graders.

Aiden got to take pictures with dozens of adoring little fans who thought "the monkey was the funniest", sign autographs, and be Mr. Popularity at the local DQ that we all went to after the show. It's safe to say his head is a bit larger than it was yesterday and he is certainly riding a high. To be fair, though, he really did earn it. Well done, Aiden. And to think I thought he was just monkeying around all this time!

Clearly It Was a Monday

2011-04-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

Remember back in the day when we were in school when the big joke was about giving someone a swirly? I never got one, but playground lore held that a swirly happened when someone stuck your head into the toilet and then flushed making the water swirl around you. Somehow I struck it lucky enough that my children haven't ever heard of such a thing. Can you just imagine CJ with the image of a swirly in his mind?? The poor cat!!

Liam decided to give another kind of swirly today. He got pretty gross after his breakfast (let's be honest, people. When is he not gross??), so I opted to throw him in the tub with Rachel and Drezden. Drezden had an allergic reaction to the diapers I bought him, so I knew the water would do him good.

After they got out, Liam was running around naked while I worked on switching laundry and getting his clothes ready. I let Drezden run around in the buff to air out his sore hiney. I came downstairs to discover Liam fiddling around in the dishwasher. I think he must aspire to being a dish guy at some fancy diner when he gets older because he just obsesses over the dishwasher. I watched for a second before the horror kicked in. My naked, freshly bathed two year old was taking the dishes that were clean from the washer to the toilet! THE TOILET!!!! He would put each dish in the toilet, swirl it around a little, and then proudly throw it back in the kitchen sink. He was giving my clean dishes swirlies in THE TOILET!!! Really? Of all places you could put my clean dishes, you chose the toilet????

I emptied the remaining dishes before his grubby little hands could get to them and then reloaded the dishes with the ones that he had kindly rewashed for me. From there I headed upstairs just in time to hear Rachel yell "Drezden pooped!". With a diaper on, this would be no big deal, but I was airing out his bum. Luckily none of the poo got on the floor, but he did try to slide off the potty before wiping and left...well...let's just suffice it to say there was a trail. Lovely.

Within twenty minutes of taking a refreshing bath, I had two naked little boys involved in toilet crimes. Clearly it was a Monday.

Door Slammed, Window Opened

2011-04-02T06:40:00.000-07:00

I think it's fair to say we've had a long week. Between Aiden being thrust into outer darkness for saying something that could be misconstrued as those of a Grand Pubah in the KKK, and a bitter battle with the school district over his honor, and all the day to day stuff that goes on in our wild family, it was a long week. I needed someone to cut me some slack somewhere along the way.

Last night, we opted to take the kids to Red Robin for dinner after taking Aiden to spend his birthday money. We took two cars because Byron was meeting us on his way home from work. Just as we pulled up to the light where we turn into the restaurant, I noticed that the van was idling really hard. I pulled in and parked and noticed smoke coming out from under the hood. Now, I'm no car expert, but I'm pretty sure I read somewhere the smoke coming out of your car is generally a really bad thing.

Byron lifted the hood and I worked on calling a friend from our ward who is a mechanic to tell us what to do. I didn't really know how we'd get all five kids home, but I wasn't overly stressed about it, either. We were thinking we could just drive it the rest of the way home, about three miles, and then get it towed in later. Just as Byron opened the hood, the gentleman parked next to us came out. "I'm a mechanic. Can I have a look?" I recognized him as the man who'd helped me change my license plates when we were switching states. We were planning on driving the van the rest of the way home, but the man assured us that it would be better to have the van towed. At that point, we just called and asked our mechanic friend to tow the van.

When we got inside, it was starting to swirl around in my head that I didn't know how we'd get all the kids home, but I devised a plan that would have one of us stay with half the kids and the other one drive the oldest three to a neighbor's house. Then, the first one could come back for the other parent and the babies. It would be tiring, but could be done if we were really stuck.

We ordered our food, got the kids (who were all VERY rascally at this point) situated, and waited for the tow truck to came. Just as our meals came, our friend called to say he was outside and ready to tow us. Byron didn't get a bite of food before running outside while I stayed at the table with the kids. Of course that was also the time Rachel realized she really needed to use the restroom. I couldn't unload and take everyone with me to help her, so I told her she needed to wait. While I was with the kids, a family from church happened to walk by and visit. They had a daughter big enough to help Rachel go to the restroom, which she apparently urgently needed to do as evidenced by the not so subtle potty dance she was doing. As simple a task as this may seem, it was big to me. They stayed and chatted a bit and then were on their way.

About three minutes after they left, Byron called from outside and said that the family was also in two cars and had offered to bring some of the kids to the neighbor for us. What luck!!! I thanked them, though probably not enough, and let the three big kids go with them as soon as they were done eating.

While all of this was happening, our waitress came by a few times to refill drinks and take plates away. She noticed Byron's untouched burger and asked if anything was wrong with it. I explained that something blew in our van just when we pulled in and he was outside with the tow truck. She said she was sorry to hear that, smiled at the kids, and went about her business. At least that's what we thought.

After the big three were gone and I was in the process of cleaning up Liam, who had apparently felt the need to use the cheese sauce on his macaroni as body paint, the waitress came back to the table and said "I noticed you guys have all these kids here and it must be so stressful with what happened with your car. It seems like you've had enough bad luck, so I spoke with our manager and the restaurant would like to take care of your bill tonight." You could have knocked me over with a feather. To them it may not have been that big of a deal. To us, it was huge.

I feel like a few doors were slammed on me this week, but last night proved that every window was opened.

*The van didn't start having trouble until we got to a safe destination
*We had two cars with us
*We were parked next a mechanic that could give us wise advice
*Our friend answered his phone when we called
*There was a family we knew we could safely send our children home with
*Our neighbor was up late and willing to take on our three rascals for a few minutes while we tied up loose ends
*A waitress who didn't know us from Adam was attentive to what was going on, and found a way to do something nice for us

We are blessed.

The Final Installment

2011-03-31T09:35:00.000-07:00

I put the administrators at Aiden's school through the wringer this past week over the situation that landed his sorry butt in ISS. I don't regret fighting the fight that I fought and I would do it again were the same circumstance to come up. What happened to him was wrong and the consequence was too great, but one thing I can't deny. The principal, vice principal, and teacher carried themselves with grace and respect for my feelings.

Did I mention that I was REALLY mean and tough about the situation? I was. I probably added a few gray hairs to their heads. (Thank goodness for hair dye, right?) While I'm good at pointing out the bad, I'm also pretty dang good at acknowledging the good. I figured, if I'm going to post everything I didn't like about the situation, it's only fair to also post the good. The following will be the last you'll hear about what went on this week. It's an e-mail I sent to the superintendent of schools here, a copy of which I'll be printing off for each them to keep for their own records. They put up with a LOT of crap from me, and they've earned it.

Dr. DuB.:

My name is Aimee and my son, Aiden, is in 5th grade at TCE. We came here from a school that I dearly loved and shed tears over when we had to leave. When we were looking at houses, we toured the school and met Mrs. T. and Mr. S. Their overall demeanor and enthusiasm for what they do sold us on buying a home in this district and putting our children, 3 of whom have special needs, in that school.

This past week, my son made a stupid comment and it was hurtful to another student. In our home, if a sibling hurts another the consequence is "you are now his slave for 45 minutes" or something to that affect. Aiden's class happened to be studying slavery in school this week. During free time, my son was goofing off with some of his peers and said to another "now you're my slave" which was followed by another peer saying "no, he's my slave". Unfortuntely, Aiden happened to make this comment to a boy who was blessed with dark skin. Aiden by no means intended this to be a racial slur, but was given three days of in school suspension despite never having been in trouble in his life and being known as a kid who goes out of his way to be accepting of others, especially those with special needs. This is wrong on so many levels, but I don't want to debate that right now. (Although I would love to sit down with you and the administration sometime and work out a more age-appropriate plan of discipline for the school.)

What I want to discuss here is the way Dr. R. and Mrs. T. handled themselves. To say I gave them a run for their money would be the understatement of the century. I went in with guns blazing to fight for my son's honor and to protest the excessive punishment that was given. I pointed out their every flaw. I expressed how disappointed I was that common sense wasn't used here. I forced them to go round and round discussing the same points over and over and over again, despite knowing we would never come to an agreement on the situation. Never once did those two women lose an ounce of professionalism. Not once. They were kind, respectful, and considerate of what I was feeling and saying. When I called them on the fact that they hadn't explained to Dr. C. that they knew Aiden didn't intend his comment as a racial slur and explained that they owed him at least that much, they didn't hesitate. Dr. R. assured me that she would call Dr. C., and I followed up. Dr. R. said only the kindest of things about my son to her. This shows that she is indeed a woman of her word.

Dr. D., you have amazing people working for you at TCE. I will NEVER agree with the severity of the consequence my son was given. That is beside the point. Disciplinary plans can be worked out later and perhaps a committee can be formed to look over these situations and see what can be done to improve upon the plan.

As the mother of many special needs children, it matters to me who is in charge of their schooling. While I know the decision has already been made, I hope you will add my vote in behalf of Mrs. T. In our house, we say she reminds us of Miss Frizzle from "The Magic School Bus" series. That is a REALLY big compliment because we hold that character as the epitome of what a teacher should be. She's thoughtful of the needs of her students and their families, she's not afraid to think outside the box, and it's obvious to me now that she is able to hold her own in a very difficult situation. While it is a loss to the school to have Dr. R. leaving, I can rest assured that Mrs. T. will take the school far in her leadership role.

Additionally, I want to point out what a phenomenal teacher you have in Mr. S. My son was understandably nervous about leaving his friends and everything familiar behind to move to a new school. For the first time in Aiden's young life, his father has to travel frequently on business. Mr. S. has been THE KEY PLAYER in making this transition better for Aiden. He is a creative, hands-on, actively involved teacher who has made a lasting impression on my son so important that there is no gift or reward great enough to thank him for it. The situation that occurred this week was VERY telling of Mr. S.'s character. When I went storming into Mrs. T.'s office, he was already there and it was clear by the look in his eyes that this was as painful to him as it was to me. I dare say that Mr. S. loves each and every child in his classroom as he would his own two sons.

I don't know that there is some magic red ribbon or fancy trophy that is given to outstanding educational professionals in the School District, but if you had one to give, this group of people would certainly have won it by a landslide. Thank you for putting such an effort into your selection of educators for my children. You can pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

Yours,
AimeeTheSuperMom

Final Decision

2011-03-30T12:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not happy about it, but that's okay. The school knows I don't like it, and being the stubborn pain in the butt that I am, that's oddly good enough for now.

The final consolation is that Aiden gets to count yesterday's time in the office as a full day, so he can go back to class on Friday morning instead of half way through the day. They're still calling it three full days of suspension and I still think that's too excessive and they still think they're right and I still know they're not right and really no one is going to agree on this. We could chase our tails all day and make no progress, but who does that benefit (other than me for getting to give myself a new tiara that reads "Meanest Mom in the World, But Only When You Tick Me Off)?

The truth is that I would back down if Dr. C. required to apologize to Aiden. I want him to learn that even adults make mistakes and need to be held accountable for it. What Aiden said was dumb and his timing was even worse. I get that. Aiden hurt another boy's feelings and he had to apologize in person and in writing. Dr. C. said she KNEW he intended a racist comment. She was wrong about that. She owes him, not me, an apology in writing and in person. It doesn't have to be huge. It can be something to the affect of "Aiden, I said something about you when I didn't know all the facts. What I said was untrue and hurtful, and I'm sorry. I hope you will forgive me." Really, that's all I want. More than the suspension being taken away, more than the embarrassment he feels, more than anything else, I want her to apologize.

So, that's where we are. He misses the choir concert. He spends another day in ISS doing useless busy work. He goes back to class on Friday. Mrs. T., I know you're reading this. Am I correct in understanding he can go to drama club practice Friday morning then?

And, while we're on the subject of Mrs. T. and Dr. R., I want the record to show that for as much as I disagree with their decision, I appreciate them listening to me and putting up with my constant interjections and arguments. (I didn't mention to them that I was really into debate in college, and have a had a high win rate. Poor girls!) I may not have won the whole battle, but I didn't go down without a fight. They remained professional and held their tongues when I'm confident they were thinking "Dang! Mrs.Supermom totally didn't take her happy pills today." I will never see eye to eye with them in THIS situation, but am confident there will be lots of other areas we can agree on.

Either way, I did what I felt was best for my son. I'm a tough, sometimes grumpy (shocking, right?) mom. I expect more of Aiden than I do of any other child. He sacrifices a lot for the best interest of his siblings, usually without being the option of not sacrificing those things. At the end of the day, though, he is mine. And I love him. I love him with every bone in my body. And I trust him. I know his character and I know who he really is. I have taught him about acceptance sensitivity. And, when his character was questioned, I defended him. I stood up for him. If I were to die tomorrow, I would die knowing he KNOWS I know who he is. And I am proud of the son I've raised. He is taking his consequence, unfair as it may be, like a man. He knows what he said was wrong and why. In the end, isn't that what this was all about anyway?

Well, We're Making Progress

2011-03-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

The assistant principal just called. We went round and round and she insisted that the punishment would stick, but he wouldn't lose his part in the play and still can't be in the choir concert tonight. I said that wasn't good enough. She asked what I wanted. I was very clear.

1. I brought up the situation with CJ where he was picked on repeatedly for weeks and threatened with physical harm. She said that child was 2nd grader and Aiden is a 5th grader so it's different. I said I would agree with that except that he is 11 and was compared to an adult yesterday. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right? She said she'd have to "look into that more."

2. I said that, when Aiden did something wrong, he had to apologize to the little boy in person and in writing. I want an apology from Dr. C. for calling him racist and saying she KNEW that's how he intended it. She said that wasn't necessary because he didn't know the other woman said that. I said he most certainly does know and that I explained it to him as a means of helping him understand why such an extreme consequence was imposed. And, even if he didn't know, she said it and should have to admit to that and apologize. Period.

3. I said that it was clear that this consequence was given with political motivation and not a full understanding of the whole situation, and it's okay to say to Aiden and the other little boy "We were really upset by what you did and didn't really stop to think about it, but this is a little bit more consequence for what you did." I think they should ask him why what he said was wrong and why he shouldn't do it again. If he knows the right answers, I felt that they could say, "we're sorry were so extreme and we think it's time you go back to the classroom tomorrow morning." I said that sometimes I'll tell him he's grounded for two weeks for something stupid and then realize how extreme that was and apologize for flying off the handle and then give him a more fitting consequence for his actions.

4. She said they were firm, so I asked where to go from here for mediation. I said I felt that it's obvious I won't budge on my feelings and that they won't budge on their feelings, so a third party would be brought in. "I don't want to go legal here, but I have a job to defend what is best for my child". I asked the process for mediation. Does he serve the time while it's being mediated, or go back to class until it's all over? I'm willing to work with them. If he serves the time while it's being mediated and it is determined that I am right, what is the compensation for Aiden for that? I was clear that I did allow him to go today and sit in ISS, but I will not allow another day of it. She offered to let him serve the suspension at home. I said no. It's still an extreme punishment no matter where he serves it. I said it MUST be taken care of today because he belongs in that classroom tomorrow morning. It's wrong to even concede tonight's concert, but whatever. I will deal with that loss.

She did note that I am VERY good at advocating for my kid. (That made me giggle a little.) I think they realize I mean business now and will NOT be backing down on this. She needed to "look into a few things", but will call me back later today to work on a better resolution. I'd say that's at least a little progress.

An Update to the Mama Bear Post

2011-03-30T05:07:00.000-07:00

I was up all night long last night until after 3am. (I see a caffeinated beverage in my immediate future for sure!) I have thought and thought about the situation regarding Aiden that I posted yesterday. I want to do the right thing. I want to be sure my motivation for fighting this is driven by appropriate reasons. Not everyone agrees with my opinion of the matter, and I'm okay with that. In fact, I value the opinion of others. It opens my mind to points of view I may otherwise not have seen.

In the end, it came down to the fact that my heart simply says this was not handled in an acceptable way and the punishment is too harsh for the crime. Let's be honest. I'm probably going to lose this battle, and that's okay. As a mom, I need my child to see me respectfully arguing in his behalf. This is a kid who takes a LOT of heat. My expectations for him are high. Very high. While the point made that he does say stupid things is valid, I would point out that most eleven year old kids speak out of turn and have their less than stellar moments. I would say most of us even as adults do.

The number one reason I need to speak up for Aiden is that it was suggested repeatedly by a woman who has never met him that he intended his comment to be a racial slur. What Aiden said was stupid, but it wasn't a racial slur. Just as someone who says to another person who mishears something "what are you Deaf?" is not intended to be making fun of my Deaf children. Aiden represents our family and our faith when he steps out of the house in the morning. When it is suggested that my child is being a racist, it is suggesting that members of our home and faith believe that is true. That is not what is taught here, and it needs to be corrected.

With all of that said, I did write an e-mail to the school administrators involved and will follow-up on it today. Here is what it said:

Dr. C (and others copied into this e-mail):

I would like to apologize for my behavior today regarding my son, Aiden. It was childish and wrong of me to call you crazy and hang up on you, and for that I am truly sorry. I will definitely be making a better effort at being more adult about this.

I think we need to further discuss Aiden's punishment. While I am able to keep my cool with administration at TCE, it is obvious that I need to work on my behavior with you, so I'd prefer to communicate with you via e-mail for now. I will speak with Mrs. T in person or on the phone tomorrow.

There are a few things I want to clarify. First, and foremost, I want to be clear that I believe Aiden has the absolute best teacher on the planet on his side. Mr. S is a shining example of what a teacher should be and he is to be commended for his stellar performance as a teacher. I don't think teachers get enough credit, and he has made a lasting impact in Aiden's life this year. He deserves to be recognized for his efforts. It is because of the fact that I KNOW that he is going to make this situation okay for Aiden that I am able to step back and breathe a little. Additionally, Dr. R and Mrs. Tt are both tremendous leaders. This situation leaves a lot of gray area, and I can imagine this was a tough call for them. I breathed a sigh of relief when I learned that Mrs. T would be our new principal because I know what kind of person she is and what sort of culture she will bring to the school. She will pick up where Dr. R is leaving off and do amazing things. Both of them are clearly kind and loving women with the best interest of their students at heart.

With all of that said, I still think there are some issues that need to be resolved.
1. It was explained to me that the precedent for this incident was set with a similar situation last year. Okay. Fine. I get that. We were told that this falls under disrespect. Okay. I get that, too. What about bullying? Wouldn't that qualify as disrespect? I called and spoke with Dr. R earlier this year because my 1st grader, who is Deaf, was being bullied on the bus. In fact, after weeks of bullying, the kid finally told my son that he would "punch his face in". She was a great listener and resolved the situation in a way that I felt was acceptable. It stopped the bullying, and that's what ultimately mattered. BUT, that child was not suspended to my understanding. His mother was called, a conversation was had, and that was it to my knowledge. Maybe more went on than that. It's not my business. But I am confident that child wasn't suspended. If the precedent was set last year that all disrespectful children would be suspended for three days, the child picking on my kid should have had the same consequence. I could even stretch and say that I believe CJ was picked on because he's Deaf just as Dr. C suggested that Aiden made his comment because the boy in question has dark skin. The reason the child wasn't suspended was simple. Dr. R used common sense. It would be my hope that common sense would prevail here as well.

2. I am still really struggling with the fact that Dr. C said that Aiden intended this to be racist. She explained that his actions were worse than spitting in a teacher's eye because it was intended to be racist. I explained that I didn't believe that was the case and you insisted that it was. You were not there. You do not know my son's character. If you did, you'd know that he has a reputation for putting his neck out there to defend other children with special needs and befriending those who don't have many other friends. You would know that Aiden goes out of his way to make others feel welcome and a part of things. Please, in the future, do not presume to know the intent of a child's heart.

3. My understanding is that the main reason for this punishment is to be sure that he has really learned that what he did was not okay. I asked Mrs. T if she felt that Aiden knew what he did was wrong. She said he did. I asked if he was honest about the situation. She informed me that he was. I asked if he was compliant when being questioned about the situation. She informed me that he was. I asked if she felt he'd ever do this again. She gave me a firm NO. He knows what he did was wrong and thoughtless and stupid. Help me understand what anyone has to gain by putting these two little boys in seclusion for three days. You are costing him his part in the choir concert tomorrow night. You are also costing him two days of rehearsals for the drama club play. The rule in drama club is that missing two rehearsals means losing your part. He has worked long and hard on this play. His whole heart and soul has gone into it. This is a triple whammy. It's too much, and it's unreasonable.

4. I whole heartedly agree that Aiden needs a consequence for his actions. He took it upon himself to write a letter of apology to the boy in question. He also apologized in person. He spent the entire afternoon being questioned about this without the benefit of his father or I being there to be a part of the situation. In fact, it was a full three hours after the fact before we were contacted. He is embarrassed that it's gone this far. He was trying to be funny and instead said something really dumb at the wrong time to the wrong person. I get that. I also feel that just one day of ISS is more than enough of a consequence for what was done.

I think we're all on the same page with believing he was in the wrong. I think we all also agree that he deserved a consequence. What needs to happen now is a coming together of minds to make sure the punishment is fitting for the crime. This isn't something I can let go. This is an amazing little kid we have here. He's at an age where learning life's lessons can be tough. I fail to understand why we need to make it tougher.

Thank you for hearing me out on this. I look forward to your response, and as I said, I will speak with Mrs. T more tomorrow. I hope we can find a common ground.

Yours,
Aimee

The Mama Bear in Me is Coming Out with a Vengeance!

2011-03-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

Get your popcorn out. This is going to be a doozy. Let me give a little back history first:
1. When one of my kids does something stupid to a sibling, I will often say "Okay, now you're their slave for 45 minutes".
2. Aiden's class has been studying slavery in school.

I got a call from the assistant principal today telling me Aiden was in a little trouble. Apparently he and some other little boys were all playing and being goofy, and Aiden said to one kid "Hey! Now you're my slave". Then another kid in the same group said, "No, he's my slave". A little girl overheard the conversation and told the teacher. The problem? The "slave" has brown skin. The teacher asked the boy if his feelings were hurt by it, and the kid said something to the affect of "Well, it hurt my feelings that they were teasing me". Because the little girl who reported it was offended, the teacher had no choice but to report it to the principle. As the teacher was telling me this, I was agreeing that what he said was stupid and thoughtless, but explained how the term is used in our house. Never once has it been suggested as a racist term. I agreed that he needed a consequence to help him remember to think before he speaks next time. The consequence? THREE DAYS OF IN-SCHOOL SUSPENSION.

I asked if it would have been the same if he'd said this to a child of a paler skin color and was assured that it would. She went on to say he'd been in with her for nearly three hours already. THREE HOURS and no one called me!!!! I explained that I felt that it was excessive and was sure he didn't mean this as a racial slur, and she said she believed me but this was going to stick no matter what. He had to learn that this was wrong. I asked if he had argued when approached about. She said no. I asked if he'd been honest about what happened. She said yes. I asked if he seemed repentant. She said absolutely. I asked if she thought he'd ever say anything like this again. She said definitely not. What more is there to learn by keeping him out of class for three days??

It means he can't perform in the choir concert, and will miss two days of drama club rehearsals. Two misses means you're out of the play. We are waiting to hear what the drama coach will decide about all this. The choir thing he's not real big on, but has put a lot of time into. The drama club thing has his whole heart in soul in it. I became more than a little angry and tried reasoning, but she wasn't budging. She suggested that I call Dr. Carter, who was over district discipline.

I called Dr. C., and said I felt that this was a punishment fitting of a kid who got in a fight, used the N word, spit in the teacher's eye, etc. She told me what he did was worse than any of that because it was a racist comment. WHAT THE FREAK!?!?! The assistant principle had told me this would have been the same consequence regardless of color!!! Then we had the following conversation:
Me: I assure he didn't mean it in a racist way.
Her: Yes he did.
Me: Ma'am, that is not what he meant.
Her: Yes. It is.
Me: You're crazy.
Her: I am not crazy.
Me: Click.

I went straight to the school and had Byron meet me there. We were there nearly two hours. Here are the key things brought up.
If he were an adult and said this, he'd lose his job. Ummmm...he's not an adult. He's ELEVEN.
Surely Dr. C. couldn't have meant that she thought Aiden was racist. I'm not kidding when I tell you what I wrote above was our exact conversation. That's what she meant for sure. The principal said I was taking it out of context. I said "Oh? Kind of like Aiden didn't mean that this boy was his black slave? Well, if he'd been an adult he'd have lost his job. Since Dr. Carter is an adult and said something offensive she didn't really mean, maybe she should lose her job." That didn't go over very well. In fact, it was just sort of ignored with "We can't have a say in what administrative consequences are."
The school says they know Aiden is "a great kid and of good character", but none of them had the balls to stand up for him and defend his honor when district administrators were brought in.
Aiden wrote a letter of apology without being told to, but the principal hasn't given it to the kid. I spoke with the kid's mom and apologized profusely. She did at least say that the principal told her she didn't believe the boys intended it racially. (Too bad they couldn't say that to the powers that be, right?).
They promised me no one else would know about the consequence except for Aiden and the other boy in ISS. Then they said they were counting today as half a day, so the boys could return to class on Friday after lunch. Really?!?! No one will raise a brow about that?? I think not! They said they'd "work through it with them and help them feel good about themselves." I thanked them and explained that they'd done quite enough about Aiden's feelings, and to please not do anything further in that department. I'll take care of it.

I'm SO ANGRY! This is perfect example of political correctness over-riding common sense. There are more details, but they're so jumbled in my head I can't even think straight right now. Did he do something wrong? YES. Does he deserve a consequence? YES. I think one day is more reasonable, though.

Someone talk me down. Am I over-reacting? I feel like Aiden is being made an example of. The assistant principal just last week was promoted to principal next year, and I feel like she has something to prove in her abilities to be politically correct. He has perfect attendance, straight A's, only good things said about him from his teacher. None of this was accounted for. No one stood up for his character. So. ANGRY.

2011-03-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well, we finally decided it was a good idea to take the plunge and take the kidlets to the science museum. They've been really bugging us to take them to the Grossology exhibit, which is closing this week. Since Aiden has a birthday coming up and it was Spring Break (which I'm so glad is OVER), we did it. We gathered Kassidi (my right-hand man...er girl), her mom, and brother to come. Then we asked my friend, Aimee, if her kidlets would like to come, too. I could not have asked for a better day. Really, it was WONDERFUL!

I think the kids' favorite part was definitely learning about burping, farting, peeing and vomiting. I'm adding a ridiculous number of pictures here because, well...I like them and it's been a while since I've had some decent pictures to add. I hope you enjoy. There are, of course, captions where they're needed.

Courtney, Kass, and Amber with my little heathens in the food court.

Here is Liam crawling down the esophagus slide. Yes, you read that correctly.

And, here he is coming out the rectum tunnel. Yes, you read that right too.

CJ's FAVORITE part was this fart machine. He laughed and laughed making the farts happen.

Aiden, Devin, and Judge didn't mind the fart machine either.

CJ scaled the zit and scab wall like a pro. We were really glad we ate before going to grossology.

Amber and Courtney helped Liam and Drezden enjoy the nasal cavity. Note the snot dripping down the back. Classy, right?

Rachel LOVED Urine: The Game (You're in the game, get it?) It was an interactive game where you have to fight off the urine stuff coming at you. Red blood cells, things that looked like rocks, and I have no idea what else came flying at her.

Drezden really liked Cyberville. He played on the computers as if he had a clue in the world what was going on. I think those headphones may have been a little big for him.

Here was our whole rascally group. I set the self-timer on the camera and just prayed we'd get a decent picture. It came out pretty well if you don't count Aiden's weird photobomb over there in the corner. Silly kid.

As much as he can be a total nut sometimes, Aiden is a really wonderful big brother. He spent a good amount of time showing Liam how the draw bridge works.

Rachel enjoyed the science playground. She wasn't quite tall enough for the friction wall, though.

Drezden wasn't tall enough, either.

Liam thought he was super cool because he could spin the wheel and make the organ go. I couldn't tell how well he heard it, but it doesn't seem like that mattered much. He just loved spinning the wheel.

We found some great trees to climb for pictures. I love this one of Aiden.

This picture inspired me to cut their hair the very next morning, but I love how big they've gotten. They're sitting on a dinosaur foot here.

Look closely. What is wrong with this picture? I'm pretty sure I need to submit this one to Awkward Family Photos or something.

He has just gotten so big! I'm so proud of my little tornado on feet!

I'm pretty sure he was plotting something here.

Devin, Aiden, and Judge thought they were pretty cool sitting up in that tree. It gave me a heart attack, though.

This is What Happens When Your Sister Dresses You

2011-03-11T19:21:00.000-08:00

The other day I was cleaning the kitchen while Liam napped, and Rachel and Drezden played in her room upstairs. About twenty minutes into their play, she came running down excitedly announcing that I just had to come right away and see what she'd done.

This photo is pretty much what I saw. She had him dressed from head to toe like a Stepford Wife. He had the cooking hat, the pretty little apron, and the matching oven mit. The kid was rearing to go! They were both far too proud of themselves.

The funny thing is that CJ wore that very apron to school today, as well as a pair of Rachel's purple flowery leggings and a pink Easter hat. In his defense, though, today was Freaky Friday at school.

Bye Bye Binky!

2011-03-11T18:27:00.000-08:00

For as long as we've had children, we've almost always also had binkies in the house. For those who are unfamiliar with the term, this is the children's pacifier. Their sucky thing. Their mute button. Their plug. In short, for the first couple of years of their lives, this thing has been their best friend.

Everywhere we've been for the past several years, we've had to make sure we had a binky on hand. If by some tragic chance, we happened to forget to bring it with us, bad things would happen. By bad, I mean nearly apocalyptic. There is weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. The kids cry, too.

If the child were to lose his or her binky in the middle of the night, Byron and I would often be found on our hands and knees looking under cribs, behind beds, in toy boxes, and in every nook and cranny we could think of to try and find the beloved pacifier.

CJ and Rachel were the two hardest to break of the habit, but I was starting to think Drezden would be pretty challenging, too. It was really hard to break Drezden of the habit when Liam was still using his binky at night. Drezden would find one around the house during the day and insist that he needed it for himself, even awake.

Two and a half weeks ago, something wonderful happened. Liam got his tonsils and adenoids removed and was in pain. I'm not saying the pain part was good, but it did lead to good things. He was so sore that he felt the need to chew on everything in sight. In a matter of three days, he'd chewed the tips off of just about every binky in the house. There was some whimpering and some tears and a few restless nights, but I'm proud to report now that both children have been binky-free for just over a week now.

Honestly, I thought these two were going to need a twelve step program complete with sponsors and mentors and mottos they'd have to repeat daily. Who knew taking out that useless hangy thing in the back of his throat would be all it would take to break them of the habit. Now, if we could just talk about toilet training...

Family Night Fun

2011-03-03T07:10:00.000-08:00

Well, we've finally gone and done it. We have managed to get a regular routine of having family night once a week on a regular basis. In our faith, it's encouraged to have "Family Home Evening" every Monday (or whenever you can fit it if Mondays just don't work). We've tried it on and off in the past and never gotten it to take off, but now it's really working.

Who knew an hour a week of real quality family time could be so exhausting and fun all at the same time!?!? I took cues from my friend, Tracey, and created a "Family Home Evening" book. We use it to guide us each week. One person gets to conduct our "meeting" by welcoming everyone, choosing someone to do a prayer, someone to read a scripture, someone to lead a song of their choice, someone to make a snack, someone to tell us what acts of kindness they've seen in our house over the week, and someone to do an activity (that may or may not have some sort of lesson hidden in it). We also use the book to write down all the important events that have happened over the week.

So far, the book has documented a science fair (Aiden got fifth place in the fifth grade out of 36 entries and CJ got 3 place in first grade out of not very many entries!), school plays, pinewood derby entries, Byron marking his ten year anniversary with his company, Liam having his tonsils out, and a whole variety of other silliness that was somehow important to the children or us.

Activities we've done so far have included making our own Valentine bags and then putting a note a day in each person's box for a week, making a care package for two missionaries, learning about money using pony beads as currency, and we spent one week brainstorming what we could do to help the family of a dear friend who had become critically ill. (She had a miraculous recovery, by the way, and is back home with her family now.)

I'm hoping to start adding pictures and details on a regular basis just from the silly things we do on Family Night. No matter what, there's no going back now. All the kids are addicted to their Monday night time with Mom and Dad and I'm pretty sure there would be some sort of ugly mutiny if we opted not to do it anymore. That said, I wouldn't want to give it up. I think there will be some amazing memories and laughter that comes from our weekly family night fun.

That's One Way to Get a Girl...Scout

2011-03-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, a little girl in Aiden's grade came by selling girl scout cookies. I don't know about anyone else, but a I can not say no to a girl scout cookie. Ever. (I've tried, and just fail miserably). I took a few minutes to look over the order form full of over-priced confections to be sure I'd ordered everything I wanted. After the little girl left, Aiden happened to mention that she goes to his school and is in his grade.

Yesterday the cookies came in, and Aiden spotted her down the street preparing to deliver. He came running in and yelled to put some better pants on Drezden and make sure his glasses were straight. "Reese thinks Drezden is so cute and wants to meet Liam." Since when did Aiden care if anyone thought his little brothers were cute??

He kept her at the door for about ten minutes having Drezden do tricks like make fist, bump it into her fist, and then pretend to have it explode. He had Liam wave and play peek-a-boo. THEN he slyly turned to her and said, "They're available if you want to come play with them again sometime". She smiled and said she'd be coming back.

That's right, ladies and gentleman. My ten year old just pimped out his baby brothers in order to get a cute little blue-eyed, brown-haired, freckle-faced girl scout to come back over. AND IT WORKED! Later he asked me if I liked her and I casually said that I thought she seemed nice. "I kind of like her, too. She's sort of pretty." was his response. Yeah, dude. I already noticed that you like her when you gave your little brothers an ounce of attention because she was here. He promptly ran out the door to play with his other friends the minute she left. Liam and Drezden didn't seem to mind. They were just happy that he'd played with them for a while AND that some cute girl scout gave them attention.

Do you think having your kid on really good terms with a girl scout would qualify a mom to get cheaper cookies? Hmmmm....

Snow Day

2011-01-16T13:52:00.000-08:00

On Monday night, we got a pretty good snow storm. It wasn't the 5-8 inches we'd expected, but it was certainly enough to sled on. Remembering that my children have only lived in Texas their whole lives, the first sledding trip was a pretty momentous occasion. It's a good thing, too, because it takes a really long time to get five kids dressed appropriately to be able to go sledding. Snowpants, jackets, hats, mittens, gloves, scarves, and boots take long enough to put on one kid, but dressing five seemed a bit like an endless task.

I'd made a little bet with Kassidi about whether or not there would be school that day. If she won and there was school, I'd owe her a Dr. Pepper after school. If I won and there was no school, she'd get to come play with us for an hour. She must have been feeling generous because she stayed almost the whole day. She helped dress the kids and drag them and their sleds down the street to the "super cool sledding hill".

CJ was a bit nervous, but quickly got over that after his first trip down the hill. Liam, Drezden, and Rachel were just itching to go the second we got there. Liam was so bundled up that he couldn't move much (think Randy from "A Christmas Story"), so he required a little extra help. I put him on the sled to drag him back up the hill, which he enjoyed until I pulled a little too hard and he tipped over face down in the snow. Given the fact that he couldn't move much, I think he was pretty glad when I finally plucked him from the snow.

Drezden was delighted with the whole experience until his mitten flew off and he realized that the snow is indeed cold. From that moment on, he cried until we got him home and his little hands warmed up. Besides that little glitch, I'm pretty sure sledding might be his new favorite sport.

Rachel and Aiden were absolute dare devils. I might be in trouble with Miss Rachel as she gets bigger. Nothing scares her, so I can only imagine the wild and crazy adventures we'll be having with her.

I got pretty much no housework done that day, but I did hear lots of giggles with delight. I'd planned ahead and prepared for a snow day, so I had donuts and hot cocoa on hand as well as a few other fun things to do.

Overall, it was a great day. That said, I'm not sure I'd want every day to be a snow day.

Note to Self: Never Profess to Feel "In Control"

2011-01-15T22:09:00.000-08:00

If I ever make the mistake of saying out loud that I like the way things are going and that it's starting to feel like I'm in control of whatever needs to be done, the universe plays its part in putting me back in my place. I must have made that mistake at some point this past week because the universe has effectively kicked my proverbial butt. Hard.

I'm not sure how much poop I cleaned up this week, but it was a lot. There's the usual poop that Liam likes to try and dig out of his diaper and gets caught under his nails. For some reason, that poop doesn't really tend to bother me so much anymore. Maybe it's because so many of my nose hairs are fried that it no longer smells quite as bad. I will admit to being a bit bugged by the poop in the tub tonight. Liam was the last to climb into the tub. I guess he wanted more room because he immediately pooped which caused lots of floaties and some fabulous smearing on the bottom of the tub. CJ, Rachel, and Drezden got out ofthat tub faster than I've ever seen them get out before. I really appreciated the opportunity he gave me to scrub the tub a little more this week.

I also loved the discovery of the fact that someone is clearly peeing in my bathroom sink. I'm not 100% sure who is doing it, but I have it narrowed down to four family members and the cat and dog don't count. I suppose I wouldn't be so bothered by the pee in the sink if I hadn't discovered it right after I sat on the toilet and discovered that someone opted to leave just one square of toilet paper and not mention the need to replace the roll. Something about sitting with your pants down and a desperate need to wipe, but nothing available makes the fact that there are clearly urine stains in the sink seem much worse.

In case the copious amounts of poop in the house weren't enough to put me in my place, the piles and piles of laundry also helped. I swear my laundry has a mind of its own and just keeps reproducing itself in the event that I sleep. Well, that and the fact that CJ, Drezden, and Liam always seem to wet their beds on the same night. That's swell. Thanks, kids. I needed five extra loads of bedding to wash before even starting in on the regular clothes.

Then there's my sense of time management. I used to be so on top of this. Not anymore. Nope. The universe has seen to it that I am one big fat walking brain fart. This week alone, I missed my scheduled time to help in CJ's class, forgot to have CJ do his homework for TWO nights (twice as bad as just missing one night), and have managed to put Aiden a full two weeks behind on his science fair project. My cleaning routine has been flipped upside down, and somehow cleaning all day still yields a messy house when I go to bed at night. How the heck does this happen??!?!?

Now let's talk about my cat. My sweet angelic kitty that can do no wrong has turned into some sort of demon spawn. TWICE this week she got herself locked in my room and POOPED IN MY BED!!! TWICE!!!!! Is she looking for a one-way ticket to the animal shelter????? Have I not loved her enough? Is she mad because she found out that other cats get Fancy Feast while she is often forced to settle for dry food? Did I fail to spend enough time scratching behind her cute little ears? Or is it something bigger? Is it just the universe reminding me once again that I am not in control of anything?

There were other things, too. We had a snow day on the one day of the week that I should have been able to clean. Did I mention the extra laundry? Oh, I did? Well, there was also lots of extra floor mopping compliments of extra snow. (And admittedly some amazing memories with pictures soon to come). My computer has gone wonky. My dishes seem dirtier than usual. I missed the recycling truck and am stuck with tons of recyclable stuff for another whole week. I'm sure there's more. (In fact I had some really really big stuff happen, too, but can't share it here as this is a blog to make you laugh and the really big stuff is surely enough to make anyone cry).

So here I sit. I'm a great big human brain fart who has learned many things this week, but the most important thing of all seems to be that I am most certainly NOT the one in charge. Point taken. Now can we lay off on the poop and laundry just a little?

Automated Phone Answering Systems-I Hate Them!

2011-01-04T14:57:00.001-08:00

I know this is going to come as a shock to some, but I'm going to go out on a ledge and divulge it anyway. I'm opinionated. Yep. It's true. I know. Usually I'm like a shrinking violet always keeping my thoughts to myself, right? Not this time. Nope! I have a strong opinion and I fully intend to share it.

I know what you're thinking right now. What could possibly be so bad that it inspires an opinion in Aimee that is at all worth sharing? Well, I'm going to share it. Hold on to your hats. I'm sure I'm very much in the minority on this one. The topic: Automated phone answering machines. I. CAN'T. STAND. THEM!!!

If I have to take the time to look up a company's number, make sure I have all of my account information ready, and speak politely, I should at least be given the courtesy of having a human answer the phone. Instead, I'm greeted with a list of about seven thousand, four hundred, sixty-five choices of which button to push (half of which aren't even in English!!) Once I finally choose the one that almost meets my needs, I start to get my hopes up that I'm about to talk to a real living human being. I start thinking for a few brief moments that someone with a pulse and blood running through their veins is going to grace me with a moment of their attention.

Of course my hopes and dreams of speaking to another person of the human race are quickly dashed when I realize that I now have some voice activated computer to tell my woes to. Really? Really!?!? REALLY!?!?!?!?! Without fail, one of the children in the house make some sort of background noise, which the stupid computer doesn't recognize, so it freaks out and says something like "I am sorry. I do not recognize that response. Ending call now. Bzzzzzzzzz." By this point, I'm now in the fetal position in the silence of my bathroom preparing to try to make the same stupid call for the fiftieth time. I start all over. First, I get the recording explaining "we seem to be having heavy phone traffic right now. Your expected wait time is about seven years. SEVEN YEARS!!!! I listen to the fifty billion options (half of which are still not in my language), choose my option that almost meets my needs, am rerouted to about seventy-five "customer service specialists", and finally make it back to the voice activated computer. And what happens in the silence of my bathroom where the children's voices can't possibly throw anything off? A fart. Seriously. A FART!!! And what am I bound to hear next? "I am sorry. I do not recognize that response. Ending call now. Bzzzzzzzzz."

It's not always this bad. Sometimes I only feel the urge to gouge one eye out before hanging up rather than wanting to gouge them both out and hang myself by my toenails in the closet.

Really. Automated phone answering services are enough to get war prisoners to fess up to their crimes. Forget Chinese water torture. This is so much worse.

So, there you have it. I have an opinion. And now I've shared it.

Well, It's a New Year

2011-01-01T07:34:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, world! I'm not really all that sure it's going to be all that different from 2010, but it does somehow feel really exciting to know it's a new year. There are some things I think will be just like last year, and others that I think will change. If I had to guess what would still be the same, those things would be:

1. My boys will still not be able to aim when they pee. At all.
2. Rachel will still be terrorizing the boys by stealing their toys and running off with them and screaming bloody murder when the boys catch up to her.
3. Aiden will continue to practice his sarcasm on CJ, and CJ will continue to be completely confused by it.
4. CJ will still be finding every opportunity possible to turn anything he can into an art form. He will cut papers into small papers, and then staple said papers together to form a book. He will then walk around to anyone he can find trying to get them to sign his book or draw something in it.
5. Drezden will continue to get constant compliments on how adorable he is with those big dimples, glasses, and out of control spiky hair.
6. Liam will maintain his destructive reign of terror and do so with a smile.
7. Byron will still be traveling a lot for work and will continue spending lots of time obsessing over how to get the most frequent flyer miles and perks.
8. I will still be the family maid walking around cleaning the same messes over and over and over and over and over and...well, you get the idea.
9. As for Mouse and Molly? Well, how much can a cat and dog that are both already adults change anyway? Mouse will still be sleeping in my bed all day and hiding from everything including her own shadow, and Molly will still be following the kids around hoping they drop some table scraps for her.

Even with all those things that will probably not change, there are a lot of things that I'm looking forward to and hoping will change a little bit. It's not that I don't love things the way that they are, but we all have to move forward and change in order to progress in life, right? Some of the things I'm pretty sure will change this year are:

1. The boys may not be able to aim when they pee, but they will be able to use a Lysol wipe to clean up their spills.
2. Aiden will become more and more independent as he explores his talents, makes more and more friends, and no longer needs to pick on CJ to feel good about himself. I'm already watching a lot of this happen right before my eyes.
3. CJ will find a way to help others appreciate his art with him, and will make bonds with new friends. Friendshipping with peers his own age is such a challenge for him, and I'm really hoping to see him make little breakthroughs here and there.
4. Rachel will start Kindergarten this year, and start to find her niche outside of picking on her brothers.
5. Drezden, who is now in pre-school, will start to develop a better sense of language and involvement in activities designed for his age and people will start to see that there is a great little personality behind those dimples, glasses, and out of control hair.
6. Liam is going to have a huge language explosion. I can just feel it. We have been working with www.moogcenter.org to create a good and strong learning environment here at home. Finally, he's progressing. I can't wait to get into his little head and allow him to share what he's thinking.
7. Byron's travels will show him just how much he can do and just how strong he really is. Also, his dedication to weight watchers will result in a much smaller hubby by this time next year. While I love having more of him to love, I'm glad to know that he's dedicated himself to becoming healthier so he can be with us longer. I intend to celebrate our 100th anniversary together. (Hey! It could happen. Medical technology is coming up with weirder things than that!)
8. I will have the children trained to pick up at least some of their messes and take their chores more seriously. Okay, so this one will take a lot of work, but a girl can dream.

For now, I'm just going to try and enjoy today for what it is: a cleaning day and time to spend with my kidlets. Despite our challenges, heart breaks, and incredible frustrations, I feel completely blessed to have life just the way it is. We have daily laughter, new adventures on a constant basis, and of course we are NEVER bored.

Coming Soon in 2011...

2010-12-30T12:39:00.000-08:00

I'm ashamed when I realize how long it's been since I've blogged. So many funny and exciting things have happened, and I've failed to document them. SHAME!! In my defense, it has been the holiday season and things have been C-R-A-Z-Y. I anticipate things starting to settle down quite a bit once Christmas vacation is over.

All that said, I've made some New Year's Resolutions. I'm counting on you all to remind me when I fall off the wagon and fail to do what I need to do. This year's resolutions:
1. Trading time visiting My Online Friends (sorry girls!) for time to blog. Since I don't keep a personal journal, this will be the documentation of my kids' childhood experiences. The goal is to blog 2-3 times a week per blog. Think I can do it? I do!!!

2. Reading three pages of scriptures on my own daily. In Sunday School, the teacher pointed out that reading three pages daily will result in time to read the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, and the New Testament. It's a REALLY big goal, but it's a challenge that I think will be really fun. I'm excited to at least give it a shot.

3. No more soda. It's time to say good bye to the bubbly caffeinated goodness that is soda. More specifically, I'm bidding farewell to McDonald's coke. This will be a hard, lonely choice to make, but it's for the best. And, really if a person feels lonely without their McDonald's coke, it really is best to say good-bye isn't it?

So, that's what's coming in 2011. I'm looking forward to it. What are your New Year's resolutions?

Liam Has a Word!!

2010-11-01T20:56:00.000-07:00

I am at a loss for words (which is rare...trust me) tonight. We have spent endless hours working on keeping Liam's hearing aids in. A friend of mine, Kadee, managed to make him a cap that officially works at keeping the aids where they belong. In keeping the aids in, we have succeeded at giving him auditory input. Finally, it's all paying off. I was recording a video of him demonstrating his cap and after I finished, he managed to say the one word he's allegedly been saying at school for a couple weeks now. This was our first time hearing him say it correctly at home. He's so proud of himself that he walked around for quite a while after the video with his toys in the air saying "uh uh uh".

Here he is saying his first word!! Go Liam!!!
Here he is demonstrating his awesome cap. This video also shows another big step for him as it demonstrates him finally copying what we do. This is a great step toward sign and spoken language acquistion. It really is a great day for him.

We Went to the Pumpkin Patch

2010-10-24T20:43:00.001-07:00

It was parent/teacher conference week this past week and our school district felt that it would be wise to have the students all have four day weekends so teachers could have enough time to meet with all the parents. Really?!?! Is there no other time to do this, like 2am or something?? Does it really seem like a great idea to ask parents to raise their own children?

At any rate, I got to have all five children home Thursday and Friday and I have to say they were remarkably well behaved. Liam's girlfriend (her job is to come twice a week and help him keep his hearing aids in), Kassidi, also happened to be off on Friday so I called to see if she'd like to come help me survive taking all the kids to the pumpkin patch. Being the amazingly sweet girl she is, she accepted the offer.

We started by taking the kids to Pizza Street for lunch. It's a pizza buffet, so the kids were delighted that they could choose whatever flavor they wanted. I was stunned to see Liam pack away plate after plate of fetuccini alfredo. Go Liam!! Things were going really well until the ice cream machine ran out of chocolate. At that point, I felt the need to curl up in the fetal position and cry. Considering the fact that we were in public, I opted to hold back and instead quietly worked on a vanilla cone. Let the record show that I was crying inside, though.

The pumpkin patch was great!! It's in the same town where Byron works, but I would never have found it without my GPS. We arrived, unloaded and headed to the entrance to pay to get in. I was pretty impressed with the fact that none of my five children were hit by oncoming traffic as we attempted to get inside the gate. Honestly, trying to take them anywhere is like herding cats except that herding cats is much less painful.

The kids headed straight for the hay bail maze. It was a cute little town thing where kids could go in and get lost. I encouraged them to get lost frequently, but they kept finding their way out. Figures. At any rate, they had a good time.

From there, we came to the petting zoo. CJ was just sure he witnessed the rooster laying an egg. I didn't have the heart to tell him that wasn't a rooster because he was so delighted to discover that "eggs come from rooster butts". Aiden spent his time trying to distract a bully horse so that a hungry donkey could dine on some most delicious corn. Rachel was working on a plot to adopt a kitten while Drezden meowed at said kitten and Liam attempted to eat anything he could find on the ground.

From there, we moved on to the play area which consisted of several John Deer tractors in kids' sizes and giant sand boxes full of corn. I think this was the area we spent the majority of our time in. Liam really liked filling bins with corn and listening to it shake. Kassidi said she liked how the corn felt between her toes. Really? I felt like it just sort of got stuck between my toes and felt downright weird. Anyway, I digress. The kids really enjoyed spending time burying each other, jumping in, and just generally playing with the corn. If I'd known corn would be so exciting, I would have saved a whole lot of money on toys over the years. I'll consider that a lesson learned.

Outside of the play area were these big crank machines could be used to pull the corn off the cobs. The kids LOVED doing this. Even Liam figured out how to do it. There were buckets and buckets full of corn everywhere. I'm guessing that's where they got the corn for those giant sandboxes. I couldn't believe how hard the kids worked at these silly machines. They had to find the ears of corn on the stalks, put them into the machine, and then crank it. There was a lot of effort involved. I've got to somehow figure out how to get them to put that much effort into things like putting dishes in the sink and flushing the toilets.

After the corn machine, we spent some time on the giant tire swings made from old tractor tires, then on slides made from irrigation tubing, and finally on the train ride. Before leaving, we chose our pumpkin. It's a lovely pumpkin, too. We're supposed to carve it with Kassidi's family and some other families from the ward tomorrow, but it's just such a pretty pumpkin that I can't bring myself to carve it. I think I'll go try to find an ugly one in the morning.

All in all, it was a great day. I'm grateful to Kassidi for helping me out. Just having another human being taller than my kneecaps there to help me made the day much more enjoyable. Maybe I'll be willing to venture out and try other fun things again in the future. I'm not saying the near future, but probably sometime before they all graduate college.

Memo To Aiden

2010-10-24T20:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Aiden:

While I understand that you know everything there is to know about life since you are a whopping ten years of age, allow me to share with you a few important tips for life. Consider it a little tool to help you survive until your 11th birthday.

First, let's talk about the "cool guy" grin you feel the need to put on your face every single time I take a picture of you. You're a handsome kid. Really. You are. Why do you need to do that weird grin that makes you look like half of your face is paralyzed? You know that saying that suggests that your face could potentially freeze when you're making a less than attractive look? Let's just assume that is the truth and not do that anymore.

Now let's move on to your hygeine habits. You are not allergic to water. Showers really are your friend. They make you feel all...well...clean. Clean is good. Really. It is. Dirty results in things like body odor, fleas, ticks, and the bubonic plague. I understand that you live a very busy life, but I'm going to need you to make room in your daily (or weekly at the very least) schedule for a shower. If not, I'll be forced to do what I did tonight and "help" you shower. I don't particularly care that you still have your clothes on. A little extra shampoo goes right through your clothes and causes you to get moderately clean. Also, showering with your clothes on leaves me with a warm fuzzy feeling because I know you're finally changing your underwear. (That's another thing we need to talk about later.)

Okay, I think those two big tips are probably a good start for now. I look forward to more attractive photos of a less stinky you.

Love,

Mom

I'm Practicing Patience

2010-10-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

I usually like to write about the funny things that happen in our lives (and trust me when I tell you there are many). Tonight I want to take the time to remember the feelings I have as I'm humbled to realize I need more patience, especially with my precious children.

Sometimes we get caught in the rut of day to day living and schedules so much so that we forget to just enjoy the beautiful young spirits we're blessed with. I think that's what has been happening with me. Byron is busy and often traveling with work leaving me to take care of the kids on my own for a week or so at a time. The kids have school, doctors, specialists, etc. that I need to keep track of. To maintain a sense of control, I have a set schedule.

Tonight I was reminded that the schedule is meaningless unless I make room in it to just love my children. So, I'm practicing patience. This is my new goal. This is my purpose. I will take time every single day to spend quality time with each individual child listening to them share what's on their minds, play a game that interests them, giggle with them, hug them a little longer, and just remember what an amazing treasure each of them is. All this will happen without worry about some self-imposed schedule.

Patience. Forgetting one's schedule in exchange for time to enjoy the amazing blessings in life. That's what I want. It's what I'm going to work on.

What I Gained From Ladies' Night at Church

2010-09-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

This Wednesday night was Relief Society night. For those of you who aren't Mormon, that basically means that the women of the congregation come together for a monthly night out. The night is usually filled with lessons and ideas on self-improvement, spiritual growth, chocolate, fun craft ideas, etc. This month, it was mostly about spiritual growth and stress management. I was really glad I went.

One of the instructors was Liam's Sunday nursery leader. I really like her because she's so down to earth and calm with him. Nothing he does seems to ever set her off. She also seems to enjoy being with him in a genuine way. It's not like he's a job to her, but something she looks forward to doing.

The other instructor was Tracey G. She lives down the street from us and her daughters are two of our babysitters. One of them works with Liam twice a week on keeping his hearing aids in. She spoke on stress management and offered four remedies. They were scriptures, service, excercise, and laughter.

Yesterday, I decided to take the challenge and see what came of it. I feel like I manage stress well, but am always willing to try to come up with even more. It started with trading Facebook for scriptures. I am a multi-tasker so I decided to turn on the computer and listen to scriptures while I made the beds. I had Liam play in his crib while I was doing what I needed to do. In my mind, this was accomplishing the scripture part. As I was working, I got so into listening that I didn't check on Liam right away. Before long, I started to smell a very familiar odor. POOP.

I walked into Liam's room and there he was proudly playing with his poop. What the heck is it with my kids and poop? Seriously. We have crayons, play-dough, coloring books, water colors, and markers. What makes these little people think they need to do their art with freaking POOP!?!?!? Further, how are they all such little Houdinis?? Liam was wearing a onesie and an outfit over that when he managed to completely remove his diaper. Seriously?!!? I'm considering taking out stock in duct tape. Rumor has it I can now buy duct tape in fabulous colors and patterns.

The next thing I did was accomplish the service recommendation. I lovingly pulled him from his poop-filled crib and put him into the tub. I didn't even think bad words about the situation. That's service with a smile right there. I scrubbed him down really good, emptied the tub, cleaned it out, refilled it, put some toys in, and let him play in the tub with Rachel and Drezden while I scrubbed out his bed, changed the sheets, and deodorized the whole upstairs. Who knew such a little person could make poop that could be spread so far???

From there, I accomplished the excercise recommendation. I went up and down those stairs more times than I care to count. And I was lifting "weights". Okay, so it was just laundry baskets full of poopy bedding and clothes, but it weighed a lot.

Lastly, the laughter. Really, look at the situation. I've had five kids. This is the third one to find a creative means in his poop. It's hilarious really. Some parents proudly display their children's works of art. Instead, I get to scrub my kids' art...and then disinfect the house. That's funny, right? I guess I'm just glad they're not into the culinary arts. Just imagine the poopsicles we could be dining on. Yikes!

I did make sure I called Tracey to let her know the many effects I gained from her workshop. If nothing else, she got a little laughter from it.

Happy Birthday, CJ

2010-09-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

Our little CJ had another birthday this month. I can't believe he's already seven years old. He really has grown up. I still remember when he was just a tiny baby and was first diagnosed with hearing loss. I remember being told he'd likely never speak, would read at a very low level, and would depend on an interpretor for everything. Ha! Boy did he beat the odds. We feel very blessed to have him in our family.

We didn't really know a lot of people in the area and his birthday fell on a Sunday so a party was going to be challenging. I made sure I signed up to feed the missionaries so that he'd at least have them here. I also got him a little Dollar Tree gift for them to give him when they came in. He was delighted!!

We got him a variety of little things, but his BIG gift was a Buzz Lightyear toy. It talks, flies (or makes flying sounds), lights up, and a bunch of other stuff that I don't even remember. The only thing it doesn't do is pee, poop, or babysit. He was pretty excited.

He wanted a Toy Story cake, but I'm cheap. (It's okay. I can admit it. Why spend $24 for a WalMart cake that probably won't even taste that great??) I went to Dollar Tree and found a Buzz and Woody action figure and a package of army guys. Perfect! He wanted all the other junk you see on the cake. I'm not sure what the chocolate chips are supposed to represent. Maybe little alien cowpies?? Beats me.

At any rate, he had a good birthday. I hope it's the start of an amazing year for an amazing kid. We love you, CJ!!!

I Got Crafty

2010-09-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

I've been really enjoying keeping our amazing new house all clean and presentable. Everything has a place and a purpose, and I love that. It makes tidying SO MUCH easier. Anyway, apparently I've been pricked by the Little Suzie Home Maker bug because I've also been feeling crafty.

I found this wreath idea here and decided to give it a try. I had no idea it could be SO MUCH FUN!! I ended up staying up until 1am working on it. I must say, for a first try, I'm really pleased with how it looks.

If you decide to try it, there are a few tips I'd share with you.

1. Find a place to buy your ribbon in bulk. It can get pricy.

2. Use the green wreath shaper instead of the white styrofoam. It's more sturdy and only about $1 more.

3. Only cut your ribbon pieces to about 4 inches long or else they get floppy when you pin them in.

4. Wait to purchase decorations for the wreath until it's done. I'd purchased some items to stick onto it, and it was a waste. I decided that it really looked much nicer on its own.

So, there you go. I'm officially crafty now.

What's in a Name

2010-09-03T06:50:00.000-07:00

CJ's birthday is this weekend, and I had to do the shopping for it on my own since Byron has been so busy with his new job and wasn't available to me. We had to overcompensate a little bit this year because we haven't been here long enough to have friends and have a big party.

CJ's latest fascination is with Disney's Toy Story. It just made sense to get him a bunch of Toy Story stuff for his birthday, particularly Buzz Lightyear. As I was walking through WalMart talking to Byron on the phone about what I'd choose for him, it suddenly became clear that Disney didn't really think through their decisions when they named their characters. At some point throughout the conversation, I found myself saying the following things:
"Let's get him a Buzz now and he can get a Woody for Christmas".
"Wow! If you look at that bottom of his Woody, you can see that it officially came from Andy's room".
"I can't decide if I'd rather be the one to give him his first Buzz or his first Woody".

Are we seeing where I'm going with this? Really, Disney?!?! Really?? There were NO other names you could have chosen for these two characters?? When you hear their names, it makes you wonder if they were the characters cut from deleted scenes of "Brokeback Mountain". I've named five children, and I'm here to tell you that there were so many names to choose from that it was really difficult to decide. Did the Disney writers not have access to baby naming books or websites with name generators?

Maybe it was just a really funny joke that a couple of writers at Disney thought would be caught before filming started. Since it wasn't caught, they left it. Those pranksters have got to be laughing a ton right now just imagining all the innocent conversations that quickly go straight to the gutter.

Quit Pimping Out My Kid!

2010-08-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

I have a pet peeve. Okay, the truth is I have a lot of pet peeves. Today we're discussing one of my biggies, though. (Yes, they're all big, but just humor me okay?) Today's rant of the week? School fund raisers. Yep. We're talking about the dreaded cheap toy prizes, the way overpriced wrapping paper, the useless kitchen "decor", the ugly jewelry (that wouldn't be so bad if it were even moderately priced), the door to door money begging, the not so yummy but horribly price gauged chocolate, and the pain in my butt that comes through the door every single freaking school year.

Let's really think this thing through, shall we? To start with, the school get a VERY small percentage of what is earned. If kids are going to go all over creation begging people we hope will still be our friends when all is said and done for sales on items that no one wants, at least the school should have something to show for it.

Then there's the fact that no one wants the stuff being sold. Yes, we all need gift wrap, but not at eight bucks for enough to wrap a matchbox car. For that price, it should at least be made of pure gold or something. Wouldn't it make more sense to at least offer something people want??

My next rant about school fund raisers is the "prizes" the kids get to earn. Do we really have to have a huge assembly where we psyche them all up to win rubber duckies and $2 pieces of plastic molded into rocket ships guaranteed to self-destruct before the kid makes it off the bus with it? Do we really have to tell them that if their mommies and daddies don't allow them to do the fund raisers they'll never have a chance to win these fine pieces of junk? Nothing says love more than learning that you're "the meanest mom in the whole world" because you've crushed all their hopes and dreams of winning a rubber ducky and entering their name in a contest to win a prize that ten million other children also have their names on?

This year they've stooped to a new low. They're sending home "samples" of the products. Really?!!? You gave my first grader a $30 Entertainment book (which is actually a moderately good product, but NOT in the hands of a first grader!!!!!) and told him to just return it when he's done or bring back the money to own it. By the time the book got off the book, he'd already removed all the "free" gift cards and bonded to the book to the extent that he was completely sure it was his own. Nice.

There are so many other much more affective ways to earn money for a kid's school. How about a silent auction with donations collected by the kids from local businesses or their parents' work places? How about a carnival where students buy little tickets for the fun little activities? What about a dinner night where everyone pays to get in? The possibilities are endless, and they don't include pimping out my kids by sending them door to door try to pawn off a bunch of junk.

Please, this is a request from a tired mother of FIVE who doesn't want to spend the rest of her life dreading the start of the school year just because of the horrors of fall fundraisers. Please, for the love of all that is good in this world, quit pimping out my kid!

Just a Mom?

2010-08-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

Enrolling the kids in a new school and finding new doctors and whatever other new stuff there could be has meant filling out tons of paperwork. I don't mind the paper work, but I have one beef. The forms always ask what each parent does. They list off all these things like they're so amazing:
*engineer
*rocket scientist
*evil scheming mad man
*doctor
*personal chef to the stars
*dog trainer

The list goes on and on of all the possibitlities. Then, down at the very bottom, it mentions (almost as a second thought) housewife or unemployed. Those are usually my only two choices, and neither one sounds very glamorous. It's like it's saying, "You're just a mom who stays home in your robe and fuzzy slippers and watches Oprah while eating bon bons all day. Your job isn't all that important so we just stuck it down here at the bottom of the list to make you happy. Really, though, we don't have any good use for you if that's all you do".

Allow me to clarify a few things that I do on an almost daily basis that only other people who are also "just moms" can understand. First, I clean poop. I mean a LOT of poop. Most of the time I find it nicely contained in a diaper attached to my child's rear ends. There are the occasional times, though, that I instead find it under a child's nails, in his hair, on his walls, or even between his teeth. I'll give you a moment to digest that thought (pun intended) and regain your stomach before I go on. Ready? Okay, I'll keep going now.

Then there's the laundry. Picture Mount Everest. Now picture it a few feet taller than you know it to be. That's how much laundry I do in one day. I wash, dry, fold, hang, and put it all away. I'm pretty sure my children clone themselves throughout the day so that they can wear ten times as many outfits to be sure I have plenty to do.

Playing. There is an art to playing in such a way that your kids actually learn something without knowing they're learning. Sometimes it's just putting on crazy clothes and running around like a bunch of freaks and other times it's stacking wooden blocks to make a creation that rivals the Eiffel Tower. Occasionally, it's plotting with them to take over the world. Who knew poop could also be used to conquor the world? According to my kids, it can.

There's just so many things. You think you cool dudes who have job titles with a really awesome name attached do something more important than me because I'm "just a mom"? Well, let's compare job descriptions a little. You tell me what you need to be able to do daily, and I'll tell you what I do. Ready? Okay, here's my list:
*Housekeeper (and since they're going to be famous someday, I claim to be a Celebrity housekeeper)
*Personal chef
*Dietician
*Teacher
*Advocate
*Doctor and nurse
*Judge and jury
*Lawyer
*Chauffeur
*Personal assistant
*Laundress
*Spiritual guide
*Stylist
*Enforcer
*Dance partner
*Tutor
*Worst enemy
*Best friend
*Pooper Scooper
*Vomit cleaner
*Owie kisser
*Therapist
*Entertainer
*Photographer
*Memory keeper

It makes me a little sad when I sit and talk with others who are "just moms" and they feel like failures because the world says their job is worthless. Ha! Those people are going to eat their words when your kid grows up to be the political leaders who decide their fates. They'll eat their words when, at the end of the day, they have tons of money but no purpose in life. I'll take my poop-filled, sticky kiss infested days over the "glamorous" life anyday. If there was a list miles long of occupations I could choose, I'd still go to the bottom of the list and proudly circle "just a mom".

Aiden's Project Runway

2010-08-22T20:45:00.001-07:00

Aiden decided to help Rachel put together an eye-catching ensemble. What you see here is what he came up with. Really, I have no words. I'm just hoping he has a back-up plan because I'm not sure he's going to win Project Runway anytime soon.

School Has Started!

2010-08-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

CJ ready and rearing to go on his first day of First Grade. I can't believe he's so old already.

Aiden trying to look "all cool and stuff" on his first day of Fifth Grade. He's such a little man.

All the kids at our bus stop. Well, almost. Rachel and Drezden don't ride the bus...though sometimes I'd like to send them.

School has started. Aiden and CJ are in a really amazing school, and seem to be loving it. Granted, they've only had three days of school so far, but neither of them has been arrested, so that's a very good sign.

CJ has Mrs. Lackey. She's young and pretty and enthusiastic and eager to learn how to teach him. I'm not sure I'd have chosen her to begin with because I have it in my head that only a really experienced teacher can handle him. I think I'm wrong about that. This teacher is more than likely a perfect match for him. She's patient and so open minded. It also helps that our new school district is really prepared for Deaf children. I loved the way our old school loved CJ. He was genuinely adored and cared for. While he still needs all that, right now he needs someone to take the bull by the horn and really help him. I think that's just what he'll get. I blogged more details about it here.

Aiden has Mr. Schultz. What an amazing teacher for Aiden!!! This guy is cut from the same cloth and hails from the same planet as Aiden. He's so outside the box and Aiden simply can't wait to learn from him. He's silly, has a goofy class website, and shows the children that he loves what he's doing. When a teacher loves what he's doing, children love learning from him.

I think this promises to be a good year. I'm excited to see what's in store for us. And, let's be honest, I'm also excited that they're in school giving me a break now and then.

So, We Took All Five Monkeys to the Zoo

2010-08-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

At the entrance to the primate world, there was this huge gorilla. We couldn't miss a photo opportunity, so we took the time for everyone to say cheese.
Aiden with a mouthful of very expensive zoo food. Oddly, it didn't taste expensive.

Really cool flower on the swamp path.

A stained glass window you could look through to see the swamp. How amazing would it be to wake up to that every single day?

Toucan! I love his colors.

The Children's Zoo had a goat farm where kids could brush the goats. My kids loved it! Their favorite part? Watching the goats' rear ends open to poop. Classy.

Drezden and Rachel really are best of friends.

Liam had so much fun in the sand box. He even tried to digest a little bit of it.

More goat farm fun!

Drezden also enjoyed dining on overpriced food.

This monkey really enjoyed interacting with the kids through the glass. I think they speak the same language. I know for sure they have some of the same habits.

This bird was on the swamp walk. If you got too close to him, he'd turn and honk at you like "Hey! You're on my bridge. Move it!". He was totally the boss of that place.

CJ was so proud to bring me some flowers he'd found. With a sweet smile like that, I hated telling him picking flowers was against the rules.

At the entrance to the bug house. It was quite possibly the most fascinating part of the whole trip. For the record, hissing cockroaches are GROSS.

Drezden with his monkey friend.

We took the kids to the zoo yesterday. Our realtor got us season passes, and we intend to make full use of them. The kids were so excited when they realized where we were taking them. The weather was mighty fine, the kids were well behaved, the animals were frisky, and the memories were there for the making.

I have to say that Rachel probably won the prize for the quote of the day. She was looking very intently into an alligator display when I came up behind her. I asked her if she like the alligator, and she replied by pouting, scrunching up her nose, and saying "I can't see the alligator. That giant lizard is in the way." After that she stormed off. Yep. I'm pretty sure we have a loooooooong way to go with her.

Drezden's New Glasses

2010-08-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

Drezden is a funny kind of guy. He likes things to be a certain way when it comes to his glasses. In general, he prefers them to be under the couch or in the van or in the dishwasher or...well, just about anywhere but on his face.

I prefer the way he looked in his adorable wire glasses, but he has a funny habit with wire glasses. He pulls the nosepads off and then complains that they're cutting into his nose. Apparently he hasn't caught on to the cause and affect idea yet. Anyway, I decided to try something new. I wanted to find him some glasses without nose pads, which meant I'd have to get him some plastic frames.

I must say he does look incredibly handsome in his fancy new specs, don't you agree? I thought about going to some place fancy, but then discovered that WalMart has glasses for $9 that come with a 12 month warranty for damage. So, I spent a total of $58 dollars (had to account for the cost of the lenses) and got him these fancy frames. He has scratch resistant, low glare lenses in them so that I can take pictures of his beautiful brown eyes rather than a reflection of myself. Yay for that!

I also got him a pair of wire frames for the same price. I must say I was rather proud of my purchase. And the best part? For some crazy reason, he LIKES them! They haven't been tossed in the toilet or under seats in the car or buried in the dog food bowl or shoved in the toy box. They've been on his face right where they belong. Well, mostly. There was that one time this week that I find them in the book bin.

The New House

2010-08-22T15:07:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned a bit here and there about the amazing new house we bought. I finally have some pictures to put up for you to enjoy it as much as we do. There are a few things about it that I love most. Here's my top ten list: (Yes, I have a top ten list for everything. Just be glad it isn't a top 100 list or something).

10. We are in a really safe, beautiful neighborhood.

9. When I walk on the floor in the entry, it creaks just like the hard wood in the house I grew up in.

8. The cabinets and closets are AMAZING. I have more storage than I have stuff. That hasn't happened ever before.

7. Stairs. I love having stairs.

6. We have tons of picture windows on teh main floor. I love looking out and seeing so many trees and green. It's going to be amazing in the fall.

5. A fully finished basement. Aiden has a bedroom down there, Byron has a "man cave" storage room, and there is a huge play area, too.

4. Built in bookshelves surrounding the fire place. They look so pretty, though they're a little naked right now. I haven't a thing to put on them.

3. 3 1/2 bathrooms. No more competing to use the restroom or having all the kids take baths in my bathroom!!

2. Four seasons. I know the house doesn't control the seasons, but it's in a place where we'll experience four full seasons.

1. All this space for the kids to run!!! It's so amazing to be able to send them somewhere else to play. Yay!

I took about 40 pictures total, and I realize this is just five of them. I couldn't decide what to post, and let's be honest. Ya'll don't really care to see every detail of my house. Well, maybe you do because you're some crazy person who is casing the joint hoping I'll go out for a while so you can rob me blind. Let me save you a little trouble by sharing two important facts. 1. We just got a security system and it works. 2. We haven't got one single thing in this house worth stealing. You'd be wasting your time.

We've Added Another Family Member

2010-08-20T15:04:00.000-07:00

We had to let go of our other dogs before moving here. Miztur Biggz, our chihuahua, was adopted by a lady who had six other female chihuahuas. They all sleep in her bed. We told her that he is used to being outside and slept in his cage at night. She said that he would instead be sleeping in bed with her and the other dogs. So, he was a happy dog to say the least. Talk about luck! He just moved in with six little concubines.

Tino must have just gotten really old because he suddenly started snapping at and biting the kiddos. As much as we loved him, we just couldn't have that. I took him to the shelter in hopes that he'd be adopted by someone who could love him. I honestly don't think that's what happened to him, but it makes me feel better to hope it did. He was such a great dog until he got old and senile.

Anyway, we all wanted another dog. I told the kids we'd work on it after we got into our house. Now that we're here, I wanted it as much as they did. We went to the shelter a couple of times and didn't find just the right one. Then we met Molly. She's nothing like what I thought we were looking for, and she's just perfect!!

Molly is seven years old, and has lived with the same family her whole life. It seems her family lost their home and couldn't take her with them to their new apartment. She just looked so sad and lonely in that cage. We fell in love. She's housebroken (very important since even some of my children are not yet housebroken!), doesn't bark, won't jump on furniture, and loves to be loved.

I think she's still missing her old family, but hopefully she'll warm up to us. The kids adore her. Rachel likes to introduce her to any and every single person we meet. She is very proud of her dog. Drezden likes to hug her, and wait for her to kiss him. Liam likes to dump her food out. Luckily, Molly really doesn't mind having her food dumped. CJ just talks to her. Finally, someone who isn't annoyed by his constant talking!!!! Aiden is pretty sure he needs to take her everywhere he goes. I generally say no. Until I'm sure she knows how to get back home, she won't be going far without me.

So, there you go. We have a new family member that didn't have to grow inside me for nine months. I love that idea!!!

We've moved...And There is a LOT to Say

2010-08-20T14:45:00.000-07:00

We are finally moved into our absolutely amazing new home in a gorgeous new state. There are lots of updates that I need to post about. Over the next several days, I'll be posting at least once a day. I'm hoping that'll start a trend and I'll be more loyal to my blogging. Did I mention that I want to write a book based on all the craziness that happens in our home? Until I manage to get all the updates ready, here are a few important things to note:

*We have added another family member. Don't worry. She has four legs, a wet nose, and a waggly tail.
*School has started.
*Drezden has gotten new glasses.
*I got the house put together.
*The kids are making great new friends.
*LOTS of silly things have happened.

Okay, here goes nothing. Expect a flood of posts.

Aiden Wrote a Book

2010-07-10T06:39:00.000-07:00

I was going through Aiden's things from this past school year and found a book he'd written. I'm going to share it with you word for word including his spelling. I just wish I could also include the illustrations. The title of his book? "P" is for Pelvis

A is for Acromioclavicular is a holder so you don't lose your shoulder.
B is for Bone Marrow. It makes up your bones so we don't look like cones.
C is for coller bone. It holds up your neck if you it causes wreck.
D is for Deltoid muscel. It's a holder for your schoulder.
E is for Excretion. It holds your waste and look likes a bear.
F is for fibromylasia syndrome. It give you fatigue and symtoms.
-headaches
-cognitive and memory problems
-morning symtoms
G is for Gluteus Maximus. It's a muscel. Another name for it is your butt.
H us fir humerus bone. It makes people laugh when you hit it.
I is for indegestion. It happens when you burp. Idegestion is really helpful.
J is for joint. It helps you bed, so you don't blend.
K is for knee. It's a important joint so you don't just fall.
L is for lucky if your brake your bone.
M is for mouth. It helps you talk. It also hold your tongue.
N is for nostrol. It helps you breath. It contains your bugers.
O is for organs. It helps you digest. There's many types.
P is for pelvis. It's your hip. It's a bone.
Q is for quart size brain. It helps you think.
R is red blood cell. It's your blood. Blood is every where.
S is for shin. It's under your knee. It hurts when you hit it.
T is for toenail. It protects the soft skin under them.
U is uvela. It helps you speak.
V is veins. It carries your blood.
W is for wenis. It's extra skin. It sounds kind of funny.
X is for
Y is for
Z is for

I guess he got tired and didn't finish the last three letters of the alphabet. There you have it, folks. Anatomy and Physiology according to a fourth grader.

Take the Key and Lock Her Up-Another Apartment Dwelling Update

2010-07-06T15:53:00.000-07:00

I'm learning lots of great things living in this little apartment with the kids. One of them is about unlocking doors the children have locked. Basically what I've learned is that it simply can't be done. Ever. The maintanance people have been here so many times to unlock the doors that they'd finally just turned all the knobs around so they lock from the outside. The only one left was the master bedroom.

Liam sleeps in our room and opted to sleep in a lot this morning. Since he was sleeping, I decided to use the time to clean house without him picking through things he didn't belong in. Somehow in the shuffle of things, I locked the bedroom door from the inside, and left the little key thing in there with him. Oops!

Normally calling maintanance to come open the door wouldn't be a big deal. I always feel a little bit stupid, but worse things have happened, right? Well, today was different. I was cleaning in just my underwear. JUST MY UNDERWEAR!!! I was on the phone with my friend, Taffi, when I realized what I'd done. Normally she is one of my most supportive friends, but this time she just laughed at me. Nice. Thanks for the love.

Luckily I remembered that we had some storage clothes in the closet in Aiden's room. I ran and picked through it fast enough to throw some clothes on before the guy got here to open the door...I still wasn't wearing a bra, though. SO humiliating!!!!

So, I'm only mostly embarrassed about it. I got the door unlocked, and the knob is now turned around so that the door won't get locked again. I guess the good news is that maintanance will come quickly if they hear that a baby is locked in a room. The bad news is that you may not always be dressed when they get there.

Don't Touch That!! (Again!)

2010-07-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure Liam is going to be my dare devil child. CJ was always very curious, too, and could get out of just about anything. This is a different kind of daring that I see in Liam, though. His is the kind that ends him up in the ER frequently. Isn't there some sort of speedpass parents can get for when they have children like mine who consider ER doctors and nurses to be like some sort of extended family?

We had a lovely 4th of July dinner of hamburgers cooked on the grill. Since we're in a tiny little apartment, we just have a tiny little grill. It's one of those $20 ones you can get at Wal Mart. Not even a little bit fancy. It stands about a foot and a half tall, cooks about 6 burgers at a time, and just does its job and nothing more.

After finishing eating, CJ decided he wanted to eat his cupcake on the patio. No big deal, right? Well, it shouldn't have been, but he forgot to close the door behind him and Liam toddled right on out the door. Because he's the most inquisitive and accident prone child ever to walk the earth, Liam had to make a bee line to the still hot grill.

Byron and I saw it happening, and it was one of those Twilight Zone moments where everything happens in slow motion. I dropped everything and flew out to him, but it still wasn't fast enough. Both hands and one fore arm had already touched the grill.

I quickly took him to the Acute Kids Urgent Care that was down the street and they sent him on to the Children's ER in Plano. The ER at Children's decided he needed to go to the ER in Dallas. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! We all know how I feel about Children's of Dallas.

I fought and argued and disagreed with them. These burns aren't nearly as bad as the one he got a few months back. I knew he was fine, but they were adament that he needed to go. They wanted to send him via ambulance, but I put my foot down. No. Way. Is. He. Going. On. Your. Ambulance. He wasn't crying in pain, the burns were not above second degree, the swelling had slowed down significantly, and there was no reason to justify such insane measures. The doctor in Plano insisted that the swelling could get worse and he could lose his fingers. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Really, this wasn't half the burn he'd gotten last time. Really.

I finally relented and agreed to take him myself to Children's of Dallas so the burn people could look at it and tell me he was fine and just needed silvadene and treatment with the pediatrician. I also said they'd have less than 30 minutes to get him into a room of his own away from other sick children before I'd take him and leave. In my mind, the risks of being there far outweigh the benefits when you consider his health. They did do well. I'll give them that. He had his own room within ten minutes of arriving. That's all they did well in, but at least he was in his own space.

It took an hour or so for the burn specialists to come in. They took a few minutes to look at him and the conversation went something like this:

"How did this happen?" I told them the story.
"How many kids do you have?"
"Five"
"And, what do you think needs to be done here?"
"I think he needs silvadene, gauze, and to be seen by the pediatrician every other day or so for the next 7-10 days where the pedi will change the dressing and debride any blisters that have opened".
"You clearly know what you're doing, and don't need to be here. Let's get him ready to go home".

Finally!! Someone who was reasonable enough to realize that I can parent my child AND that he didn't need to be in that nasty ER. That's where it ended, though. Apparently a child can't be sent home until a regular doctor sees him. Really?!?!? He's there for a burn so shouldn't it suffice that the burn doctor saw him and said he could go home?

Well, it was the 4th of July. It was getting late. Accidents started happening and the ER was filling up (which is why I didn't want to go there in the first place, but what do I know? I'm just the mom). Anyway, we waited and waited and waited. Finally a "doctor" came in who had psychology on her pretty white jacket. Great. They sent my kid a shrink because that's all that was available?? Really, I was ready to go home. Couldn't they just dress it and send us on his way? This is how the conversation with her went:

"Can you tell me what happened?" I told the story.
"I need a medical history. Does he have any history of illness?"
"He has a pre-disposition for C-Diff."
"What's that?"
SERIOUSLY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! At this point, I knew expaining NEHI would be more than a challenge, so I just dumbed it down for her so she'd understand.
"Does he need bloodwork do you think?"
"No, he's here for a burn."
"Any fever?"
"No, he's here for a burn."
"Any fever or coughing?"
"No, he's here for a burn."
"What do you think needs to be done here?"
"I think he needs silvadene, gauze, and to be seen by the pediatrician every other day or so for the next 7-10 days where the pedi will change the dressing and debride any blisters that have opened".
"Hmmm...let me go ask someone what we need to do".
"Ok, but can you make it quick? The specialist said he's good to go, but we need you to sign it off."
"Any sign of ear ache or anything?"
"No, he's here for a burn."

Yeah. It went that well. I'm not even exaggerating. I HATE that ER. (I think I've mentioned that before, though).

Anyway, we finally got to leave around 3am. I got home around 3:30 and had a total of three hours' sleep before having to get up and take him to the pediatrician who was only opened half a day that day.

Our doctor took one look and said, "They wanted to ambulance him for THAT?" He laughed. What did he do? He applied silvadene, dressed the wound, and asked us to come back tomorrow so he can treat the wound, debride the blisters that are open, and watch for signs of infection. Hmmmm...what a great idea. Wish I'd thought of that.

Important Lessons Learned in Primary

2010-07-06T07:48:00.000-07:00

CJ is very literal. That combined with his hearing loss often results in some funny conversations. He loves going to Primary at church and then coming home to tell us what he's learned. This past week, we were sitting down to dinner and he explained that we are the sheep and Jesus is the leopard. Ummmm...hmmm...I'm picturing that analogy in my head, and I'm not sure it's quite what the Lord was hoping for. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't hunt His people down like prey. Jesus is the SHEPHERD, CJ. Shepherd!

And the Rockets' Red Glare...

2010-07-06T07:39:00.000-07:00

Since the 4th of July fell on a Sunday this year, we opted to take the kids to an event that was happening on Saturday. Kaboom Town sounded like a blast (pun intended), so we made plans with Roberto and Gabriella to take the kids and go. We got an extra stroller so Drezden wouldn't have to walk, picked up a shower curtain to sit on, and packed extra bottled water.

We got there, settled down, and the sky proceeded to open and spew forth heavy rain. The event planners sent us all to a parking garage across the way, which is where we headed. We set up shop there for 30 minutes or so and tried to enjoy the excitement. With the exception of the cars trying to drive through the garage, the humidity, and CJ asking if it was a tornado every five minutes, it was pretty fun.

Once we got outside again, the rain started up. We were drenched. Byron was miserable, the thing we'd brought to sit on was wet, the kids were a little grumpy, and there was still 3 hours until the fireworks started. We opted to take the kids and head to a place where there were benches. Next to the benches were little pools about 18 inches deep. Since they were already soaked, we let the kids jump on in. Even Liam had a little fun with it. We let them do that right up until the fireworks started.

What a display!! It was really beautiful. My favorite part was watching Liam enjoy the show. We'd put his hearing aids in so he could get the full affect of it all. He was so mesmorized by it. He didn't move an inch the whole time the fireworks were going off. I remember looking over and seeing the reflection of the lights from the fireworks on his face. It was a beautiful moment really. After the rain, the crowds, the mud, the cold, and...well, I think that's all I have to complain about...after all that, this amazing display was completely worth it. Hopefully we made fond memories for the kids. Hopefully.

Well That Sucks

2010-06-29T14:40:00.000-07:00

I have been working on getting the kids more involved in the upkeep of our apartment. They are finally really catching on. The great thing is that the apartment stays a little tidier. The down side is that the kids put stuff where they think it looks best. Rachel did some tidying on Saturday, so we all had to wear flip flops to church on Sunday. Today we found some of our shoes in the bottom of the toy bin. At least they were all matched up neatly together, though.

CJ decided that the apartment needed to be vacumed today. There were lots of stray items on the floor and it just seemed easier in his head to suck them all up. Sooooo, does anyone know how to dislodge a pair of girls' panties out of a vacume cleaner? Don't worry. They're Rachel's. There isn't a vacume big enough to suck mine up.

So, We're Moving

2010-06-29T13:31:00.000-07:00

We've been living in this place for almost ten years now. We're happy here. Really happy. We have amazing memories with even more amazing friends here. All of my children's doctors, schools, friends, well...basically their entire lives are here.

Byron has enjoyed his job here, but that job is coming to an end. By this time next year, it won't be there anymore. The doors to the plant he works at will have closed for good, and anyone still there will be standing in an unemployment line.

We figured Byron would be in one of those lines, too. We started getting his resume together, and then he got a call from the HR department of his plant around Halloween this past year. They wanted him to apply for another position within the company. He told him that position was one he'd looked at, but it requires a PhD., and he doesn't have that. He has a bachelor's degree. They said they were aware of his credentials, but still wanted to know how soon he could be there for an interview. He left the following week.

His company is a little bit slow at getting things done, and somehow they forgot to tell him the job was being offered to him. Eventually, though, we got word that he had been offered the new position complete with an increase in salary and relocation package. The problem? Relocating.

At the time, the whole thing sounded very exciting. That lasted all of about 15 minutes before reality set in. We had to get the house ready to sell, find a new house to buy, find all new doctors and schools, and so much more. By some miracle that can only be attributed to a loving Heavenly Father, our house sold in a matter of nine days. NINE DAYS! Yeah. We didn't see that one coming.

Part of the relocation package was corporate housing until we move into our new home. That's where we are right now. We're about 40 minutes south of the town we have lived in the past ten years. At least we're still sort of near our friends, right?

We also bought a great house in the new state that even seems to be in a great ward. There shouldn't be a thing to complain about. Nothing. In the past several months, our family has experienced nothing but amazing blessings, and the truth is that those blessings just keep on coming.

So, we're moving. We're moving. We are taking our children and all of our belongings and leaving everything we know and love behind in exchange for a new life full of new adventures. Yep. Moving. That's what we're doing.

We went and closed on our new home last week. I was beyond words excited. Byron and I flew there together, and the anticipation was killing me. This house is everything I could have asked for in a house, and it's within our price range. It has a finished basement I can use as a dungeon for the kids to play in, plus an extra bedroom down there. It has a lockable workspace for Byron where can put storage and important documents. We have a huge master bedroom with a great master bathroom. The kitchen has more storage than I could ever dream of. It's perfect.

We got the keys to our new home and drove over to it. I was sooooo excited. We opened the door, walked in, and I cried. There is nothing wrong with the house, but just standing there in that house that now belongs to us was all I needed to be reminded of the fact that we no longer live here in this place. We now live in that place. I didn't expect to have that sort of reaction.

So, we're moving. We're really moving. Yep. Moving.

I'm Not Judging, But...

2010-06-28T21:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in Relief Society, one of the Sister M. Little gave a GREAT lesson on judging others. It was a wonderful reminder of what we should and shouldn't be doing. Because of that, I'm going to do my best to NOT judge the genius in question.

Actually, it probably isn't really judging when I have no idea who the person is, right? I didn't see, come in contact with, or witness the person I'm talking about. Since it's not a specific person I'm talking about, I can only assume it's safe to say how I really feel. (Like anything else has ever stopped me before, right?)

Liam had his 18 month well visit today. That meant hauling my sorry butt along with five little monkeys 45 minutes north of my current residence to where we just moved from. (We're in temporary corporate housing until we finally move to our new state in a few weeks). The kids did great this morning. They all got up, got dressed, and did as they were told so we could make the appointment in time. They were a little bit noisy while we waited in the exam room, but it wasn't anything to be ashamed of. Overall, they did great. Things continued to go well during Liam's examination as the doctor informed me that he's doing great, looks totally healthy, and is right on course for living a "normal" life.

Then we stepped out of the office. Literally. We just had to step outside the office building to have something go wrong. Drezden was making every effort to be a good boy and make great choices when he suddenly stepped in the result of someone else's not so great choice. Gum. Sticky, gooey, germy, melting in the sun, nasty GUM.

He didn't tell me he'd stepped in the gum. That would be too easy. Instead, he quietly walked to the van, climbed into my seat, and stood up. This resulted in gum all over my seat. He couldn't stop there, either. He had to try to clean his shoe...with his hand. In seconds, there was gum all over his hands, which he tried to wipe off on his shorts and shirt. You can only imagine how this ended up. Just picture the worst imaginable story line for "If You Give a Mouse a Piece of Gum and Erase All Common Sense From His Mind So He Decides to Drop It On the Ground Right Outside a Pediatric Office". I'm pretty sure that's the next title in the "If You Give a Mouse" series of books.

Okay. I'm not judging the original gum chewer here, but SERIOUSLY????!?!?! Really, dude? You couldn't find a tissue to wrap your gum in? Or swallow it? Or put it in a flower bed at the very least?? You really just had to put it on the sidewalk right outside a medical office that children come in and out of?

I mean, come on people! I am going to avoid judging here, and try to put myself in the shoes of the original gum chewer. I can only assume you had a valid reason for dumping your nastiness right where some kid (namely mine) was bound to walk. I will simply assume you were innocently chewing gum when you suddenly saw me across the parking lot. Obviously my radiant beauty took you by surprise so much that you choked on your gum. You were so desperate to live that you allowed some good samaritan walking by to perform the heimlich maneuver on you, right? During that moment, the gum went flying from your mouth, but you were so glad to be alive that you forgot all about picking it up. Plus, you were in a rush to track me down and get my number. You must not have found me because you never did ask for my number. What? Was my beauty so much that it actually intimidated you? Yeah. I get that a lot. I'm working on toning it down, but nothing seems to work.

If by some odd chance the above scenario isn't what happened, and you were just too freaking lazy to actually throw your gum away, then I'm totally judging. Shame on you, freak!! Because of you, I had to drive home sitting on documentation about childhood immunizations so that my butt wouldn't be permanently attached to the seat. Seriously, dude. I'm judging. You suck.

Okay, that was uncalled for. You don't suck. Still, if I find out who you are, you are totally off my Christmas card list. So there!

Imagination is Fun. Who Knew?

2010-06-04T12:02:00.001-07:00

Today is the first official day of summer vacation for the kids. We have no toys at the apartment, which means nothing to do for a good two months. Let's think this through, people. Small apartment+five kids+no school+too hot to play outside-toys=way too tired Mommy.

Within hours of school being out and everyone being home, there was already weeping and whaling and gnashing of teeth. "Moooooooooom, she looked at me". "Mooooooooooom, she's breathing my oxygen. I was here first so it's my oxygen". "Moooooooooom, he farted near me and now the air is gross." "Moooooooooooooom, he is making me watch Sponge Bob, and I don't want Sponge Bob. I want iCarly." "Moooooooooom,......" And it goes on and on and on.

What is it about kids that makes them think that speaking ten times as loud at an octave that so high pitched that all dogs in a 50 mile radius are running and putting their paws in their ears will result in a positive outcome? At what point do they decide that screeching and stomping and acting like something requiring an excorcist is the way to get what they want?

Knowing that I was up against rough odds, I ventured out to Target while Byron stayed home with the little heathens...er...I mean gifts from Heaven. I wanted something they could all enjoy, but wasn't expensive. I knew it had to be something they'd never seen before or it would lose their attention as fast as I brought it into the house.

I picked up three barrels of monkeys, five $.79 matchbox cars, a bucket of plastic army dudes, and a four-pack of play-doh. I was going out on a limb because these toys all required the children to *gasp!* use their imaginations and actually *double gasp* play together. There were no buttons to push to make them interactive toys, no tickets spit out of them, no loud sounds or flashing lights. They were just plain old toys.

I brought them home, put on my body armor, alerted local law enforcement that I was requiring my children to use their imaginations, and used a long stick to gently push the toys in their general direction. They were like tigers hunting their prey. They hunched down and gently walked circles around the toys, patted at them a little to see if the toys would fight back or be easy prey, sniffed them a bit, and finally went in for the kill.

To my surprise, the little humans are actually pleased with these very simple toys. They've played together WITHOUT ARGUING for a full hour. They've built full jungle war zones complete with army guys, monkeys hanging from trees, and fancy cars driving through to rescue fallen soldiers.

What does this story teach us? Well, I think it goes to show that contrary to popular belief, using one's imagination is actually fun. Who knew??

He's a Fifth Grader Now

2010-06-03T11:53:00.002-07:00

Aiden and Mrs. Shelton
I love how she just freely hugs him, and you can see that he adores her.

Today was supposed to be the boys' last day of school, but our van's cooler is broken and we're living in a new city 45 minutes away. With that much distance, I can't take the babies in the van with no cooler. To make a long story short, yesterday ended up being their last day of school.

Aiden has the privilege of being in a class with Sherri Shelton as his teacher. She was so wonderful for him. This was a year of ups and downs at home for him. Between Liam getting sick now and then, moving, and all the other chaos that comes with living in our home, things could sometimes get a little rough for him. Mrs. Shelton made sure he always felt loved and listened to at school. And she was SO UPBEAT all the time. Being the goofy joker that Aiden is, he needed someone who could have fun with him.

She even applauded him when he and his friend, Dylan, performed a..um...hmm...what's the word for it....interesting...demonstration of light sabre dueling at the third and fourth grade talent show. Mrs. Shelton makes a point of acknowledging all of her students' hard work and accomplishments.

We're moving on to a new school in a new state with new teachers and hopefully new friends next year. I'm so glad Aiden has the foundation Mrs. Shelton gave him under his belt. Thank you, Mrs. Shelton, for your amazing hard work and dedication to our Aiden.

Our Kindergarten Graduate!

2010-06-03T11:53:00.001-07:00

Our Graduate
CJ and Jim, his bestest buddy EVER
CJ and Mrs. Cowart, who might very well be a saint.

CJ with Mom and Dad

Showing off his cowboy boots, which he wears every day on the wrong feet with his pants on backwards...or shorts in this case.

By some miracle, CJ survived a full year of Kindergarten. He knows more about reading, more about counting, more about sharing, more about practicing self-control, more about teamwork, and a lot more about how to drive a teacher completely bonkers.

Yesterday was his Kindergarten graduation, and he was so proud of himself. His buddy, Jim, came just in time to see him march in with his class. Being the CJ that he is, he did a goofy little dance when he saw us, and then held up the line long enough to ask what was for lunch. Figures. Silly kid.

He proudly sang the three songs they've been practicing. I felt like I already knew those songs because he's been singing them around the house for a few weeks now. When his name was called, he shook his teacher's hand and then Mr. Traw (the principal) and Ms. Dowell (assistant principal) with great pride.

After the ceremony, we followed him to his classroom for pictures. He was so excited to show Jim his stylin' cowboy boots. He wears those boots every single day. Usually on the wrong feet, but who is counting?

So, now we move on to our new school. I don't know that we'll ever find another teacher as amazing as Mrs. Cowart was. She was always fair and firm and loving with CJ. It takes a special person to make as much of a difference in his life as she has.

Unemployed Teacher

2010-05-27T06:03:00.000-07:00

CJ has always had a mind of his own as well as his own very firm agenda. On Monday of this week, he wore his flip flops to school. I told him not to wear them. He said he just had to wear them to show them to his friends. Fine, dude. Whatever. Wear your flip flops.

The problem is that he can't figure out how to put them on or keep them on his feet because his toes are all turned in from wearing his shoes on the wrong feet for so long. Because of that fact, he was causing quite a disruption with his shoes so his teacher told him not to wear them to school anymore.

A couple of minutes later, CJ stormed up to her desk and slammed a piece of paper down. It read:

YOU ARE FIRED!
XXX

Great! Just what society needs; another unemployed teacher.

More Lessons From the Apartment Complex-Teenage Pregnancy Crisis Averted

2010-05-27T05:27:00.000-07:00

I continue to learn more and more exciting things as I reside in this fine establishment with my five children. The most recent lesson was a lesson in love as taught by the horny teenagers about fifteen years old sitting in the poolside hot tub.

When the kids and I arrived, the pool wasn't very busy at all. There were just a few adults there. Rachel and CJ prefer to swim in the hot tub (which really isn't very hot unless you sit in the same spot some urinating kid was just in) because it's smaller and more shallow. Since there were only two teenagers in the pool, I decided it was a good place to let them play. So, Aiden swam in the big pool while I sat in the hot tub with CJ, Rachel, and Drezden.

Now, I was a hormonally charged teenager just like many other youth are, but I had the common sense to control myself in front of adults. These two fine upstanding future parents were apparently not blessed with the common sense to control their urges when adults and young children were present. So, as I sat there with my children, I became more and more aware of their desires.

There were tongues flapping everywhere. There was grabbing. I'm sure she meant to grab his beach ball rather than his other ones. It's a mistake anyone could have made, right? There was carressing. And there was vomiting. Drezden was the one vomiting. He swallowed a little too much pool water. Even the entire contents of my kid's stomach didn't turn these two love birds off.

I was pretty sure she was about to become this kid's baby mama right before my eyes when all of a sudden their friends came to join them in the pool. Apparently her boyfriend's best friend also happened to be her brother. Within about a minute, her boyfriend and brother were discussing their recent "scoping" outcomes. They explained to her that scoping is when you "roll on over to yo school and check out the honies. Baby, a dude has needs, too. I'm just lookin', baby. Not touchin'." This led to an argument regarding loyalty, cheating, and something about the fact that the boyfriend could just go on home and do his mama's chores like he planned 'cuz he ain't gettin' nothin' from his woman tonight.

The next thing I knew, the girlfriend who was ready moments before to give up her virginity (I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt here) was storming out of the pool while her boyfriend sat in the pool with his peeps. After she left, her brother divulged all the fact about how "she's still talking to dudes on the phone, man. She ain't loyal to you. Dude, your relationship ain't go no hope". Really? No hope? It looked very deep and based and true love from where I was sitting.

At any rate, I can only assume it was really a blessing. It was probably a teenage pregnancy crisis averted.

It's Time Someone Said Something

2010-05-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

I don't usually ask that anyone promote my blog. I'm not asking for that today, either. BUT, I would ask that you post a link to this particular post to anyone you know. Post it on Facebook, Twitter, your favorite local news link, or whatever. It's time for someone to speak up, and make things right.

As you know, Liam has spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals. Thankfully, his most recent stays have been very brief. Through it all, we've had our fair share of incidents with one hospital in particular. You may recall THIS INCIDENT or some of the many things that went wrong over the summer while he was in the care of this particular hospital. We had a doctor tell us we can't choose our child's color when we expressed concern over him being blue, nurses fail to come despite alarms going off and us begging them to come in only to discover that he truly was in distress, and had his oxygen turned off by a cleaning lady who told us the O2 was really just optional. I let all of those things go, although I did blog them for my own therapeutic benefit.

Well, they've screwed up again. DALLAS CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, IT'S TIME YOUR NAME BE PUT OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT! I am typically a very reasonable person, but things have got to improve there before someone is seriously injured or billed unreasonable prices due to stupid mistakes.

Back in October, Liam had some trouble and spent a little time in the hospital under observation. He had chest X-rays, and a test for pulmonary hypertension. We were there just under 24 hours, and were billed just over $7,000.00. Of that, we had to pay $50.00. Our insurance covered the rest. I blogged that stay HERE. Overall, I was pleased with the whole experience.

Then, in February, he got RSV and had some trouble wanting to drink. His sats and disposition were fine, but Dr. Sanchez wasn't pleased with the amount of fluids he was taking. Since she couldn't see him in her office, she felt like she wanted him admitted for observation just to be sure he was okay.

This stay was so minimal that I didn't even blog it. We arrived and he was admitted to the unit around 8pm on the 18th of February. He got a bag of rehydrating fluids, had some chest x-rays, and some breathing treatments. The respiratory people gave him the meds, but I administered the treatments. Other than that, the stay was identical to the stay in October. He was on the same unit with the same nurses and the same doctor overseeing his care. We left at around 5pm on the 19th.

The price tag for that stay? $27,778.00. Yep. You read that right. I called to figure out where the error was and they said he was inpatient so everything costs more. I said that, no he was there for observation. They argued. I fought. They argued.

I called back again today and begged them to compare the two stays and see that he received essentially the same treatment both times. They relented and said that he was inpatient because it was 25 hours that he was there in February. This is the exact conversation we had:

"What? 8pm one day to 5pm the next day is 25 hours?"

"Yes, ma'am. It is."

"No, it's not. Are you crazy?"

Customer service rep. starts asking another billing specialist to help her count, and they both agree that it's 25 hours.

"Seriously? Can I talk to someone else?"

"Who?"

"Someone who can count would be great!"

"Ma'am, count it. It's 25 hours."

"No, it's not. 8pm today to 5pm tomorrow does not equal 25 hours."

"Yes, it does."

"Fine. Let's count each hour. Let me get a piece of paper."

"That's a great idea, ma'am."

We count. I get to 5pm the next day.

"21 hours! Ding, ding ding! It's 21 hours."

"Can you please hold?"

"Um, yeah. Sure."

She comes back to the phone and concedes that it is indeed less than 25 hours. (Yeah. Duh!) Then she says she's looking over the itemized bill and there are the two $10,000.00 IV injections he received. Um, WHAT?!?! He got IV fluids for hydration in case he was truly dehydrated.

I ask her to please tell me what the drugs were for. She says she's never seen this drug listed before, and has to ask a nurse. She'll call me back in a few minutes. I figure I'll be waiting about 25 hours.

So, one of two things has happened. Either A). He was billed twice for a drug he never got. OR B). My child was negligently given a very expensive drug he was never meant to have. Which do you think it was?

On so many levels, there are things seriously wrong here.

1. If he really was an inpatient, the hospital justifies charging a three times as much for the stay even though he got exactly the same treatment as when he was there for observation. That's like saying two people could show up to the grocery store for a gallon of milk. One could come in a rolls royce and the other on a motorcycle. One would be charged $200.00 for his gallon of milk while the other pays only $4.00. And we wonder why medical bills are so out of control in America? Good hard working Americans are paying high premiums for insurance only to be charged huge fees for care they never received. I even called the insurance to report the problem, and the insurance felt that these were reasonable. I told them that Liam hadn't received some of these things (2 IV's at $10,000/each). They did nothing. Just paid it out, and charged me a high premium for it. NOT OKAY!

2. The people in billing at Dallas Children's Hospital not even able to tell time let alone recognize how many hours a child was in their care. These are the billing specialists! These are the people who take my credit card number and apply charges to it. THEY CAN'T COUNT TO 21!!! This is a serious problem. (I genuinely hope that call was recorded.)

3. A child was either given a drug he shouldn't have had, or he was billed for very expensive drugs he should never have had. Either way, it's a problem that needs to be resolved.

I'm still waiting to hear back from the girl in billing who is looking into the IV charges. She said she'd call back in a few minutes. That was at 2pm and it's now 6:31pm. So, about 25 hours later and I'm still waiting. ;)

I want the record to show that the doctors and nurses involved in this situation did their jobs well. They paid attention to my child's needs. They listened to my concerns. As always, the direct care staff did there jobs precisely right while the executives and white collar workers screwed things up. Again.

I'm hoping you'll share this story with anyone who will listen. Forget health care reform. Simply fixing billing and fact checking processes for medical care could potentially save us all more money than we can count.

I may be just one voice, but my voice matters. When it's combined with other voices, it is heard. For the safety and best interest of our wallets and more importantly our children, feel free to share this post.

In all fairness to the hospital, I will continue to update as changes come. I'm confident this will be resolved fairly in due time.

Peanut Butter Allergy-Yikes!

2010-05-23T19:27:00.000-07:00

Have I ever mentioned that I have the MOST amazing pre-school teacher in the whole stinking world for Rachel and Drezden? Well, I do. Really. She is amazing, and she's amazing enough that she also only employs equally as amazing people to work for her. I love Mrs. Buppy and her helper, Mrs. Amy. They get big points in my book, and I'm still working on convincing them both that they want to move away with us. Since Mrs. Buppy is madly in love with a certain ruggedly handsome local elementary school principal, and Mrs. Emee likes her pretty great life here, it looks like I'll be moving on without them. That part makes me sad, so I won't write much more on that. But, I will go on to describe something they figured out this week that I had completely overlooked.

Drezden has a severe allergy to peanut butter. It's really bad, and I'd never have figured it out were it not for the great sleuthing efforts of Mrs. Buffy. I had sent him to school on Thursday with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He had a great morning, played hard, and had fun. After lunch, Buffy made note that he coughed and coughed and coughed all the way through his nap. His inhaler didn't seem to help it.

Friday, he did much better. It was the same scenario, except that I sent ham and cheese in his lunch. He played, ran around, and had a great time. He slept fine and then woke up for snack. Snack was peanut butter crackers. Immediately the coughing until almost vomiting started, and Buffy knew what it was. PEANUT BUTTER ALLERGY!

She texted me what was happening and I granted permission to give Benedryl. Poor kid. It took a while for the medicine to kick in, but it finally helped him. I put in a call to the doctor to get him tested for allergies, but it was Friday afternoon and the doctor was off for the weekend.

Last night, Drezden wanted a granola bar. Out of 18 in the box, ONE had peanut butter. Guess which one he managed to get? Yep. You guessed it. The peanut butter one! It took a matter of seconds before he was coughing, vomiting, and breaking out in blotchy spots that I can only assume were hives. We gave him a dose of his steroids, some benedryl, his cough suppressant, and his regular prescriptions. Finally, he was able to settle down and sleep.

Today, the coughing persisted. He made me nervous enough that I took him to the kids' urgent care. They confirmed that Mrs. Buffy's assessment was probably very correct. He now has a whole new set of meds including an epi pen that we will keep with him wherever he goes.

Were it not for Mrs. Buffy, we would have just thought he had a bad asthma attack. She is a stinking genius! Now, I just have to figure out how to convince her to come with us to our new area so she can continue to help parent my children...or at least prevent me from accidentally killing them.

Things You Learn When You Move

2010-05-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

We have officially moved out of the home we owned, and are living in an apartment for two months before finally going on to our new home in our new state. Moving is always a challenge no matter who you are, but I'd like to think it was more interesting for me because of hte kids I have. I've put together a list of the things I've learned in this move from our house to a three bedroom apartment.

1. Boys are gross. They hide gross things in their rooms under their beds, and by the time you find them, it's way too late. The grossness level has gone off the charts and it's possible HAZMAT needs to be called in. That said, there wasn't any poop hidden in sock draws or closet corners...that I know of.

2. All those things you've been pulling your hair out trying to find aren't as great to find when it's been nearly a year since they first went missing. And really, it's a little embarrassing when the moving guy finds that box of condoms you've searched high and low for. Of course, the box is unopened, which doesn't seem to surprise the movers when you mention that you have five children. You'll be glad to find your wedding ring in the "really special place" you put it in so the kids don't find it. Of course, the spot will be so special that you forget where it is. Your joy in finding the ring will be rapidly squashed when you try to put it on and realize you're apparently a much larger woman than you were the last time you wore it. So, you put it back in another really special place.

3. You know that mine sweeper game you can play on your computer? Moving into an apartment complex that allows dogs is a lot like playing a real live version of that game. Seriously, people. There are doggy doo-doo dump sites every twenty feet here, and still your dog's poop covers my path to my vehicle. Really? Can I just leave my kids' poop all over for you to step in?

4. When all of your children's toys are packed and shipped away for two months, they will find other more creative things to play with. Refer to number three for examples of some of the more disturbing "toys" they've found. I knew CJ had reached a new level of desperation when he came in holding one of those pollen puffs you find floating around in the spring. He gently held and stroked it as he quietly told me, "This is my new pet. Her name is Dora." Really??

5. Children who have never had real cable before will become couch potatoes upon discovering that their new home has channels like Disney, Nickelodeon, and Cartoon Network. Those same children will likely need therapy to get over the trauma when they move out of the apartment at the end of the summer and learn that they are again down to basic channels. I know. They live a deprived life.

6. Sixteen month old babies and two year olds will find great delight in playing in the fire place. As their mother, I find very little delight in cleaning the trail of soot they leave behind when they're done.

7. Having a very nice pool in the apartment complex is a lovely perk. Sharing it with some of the rather unsavory people who live here is a bit less of a perk. I'm thinking particularly of the chick with about seven fat rolls hanging over her thong bikini while she held a beer and cigarrette in one hand and her young child in the other. Luckily, her equally as attractive boyfriend is there to hold her butt cheeks up for her.

8. Children who are not used to sharing bedrooms never sleep when there is someone in there with them. They should get used to this arrangement just in time for us to move out. Then they'll likely cry because they're sad and lonely all alone in their rooms.

9. Apartment complex refrigerators are far too small to accomodate a family of seven.

10. Having something break in your apartment, and knowing that some repairman will come fix it is a lovely feeling. The bathtub only works as a shower rather than just a tub in the master bathroom. Who cares? Someone else will come fix it, and I won't be paying for it. Does it get any better than that really? Yeah. I didn't think so, either.

So, this promises to be a rather enlightening summer. I can only imagine the things I'm going to learn. Stay tuned for more installments of "Things You Learn When You Move".

The Faith of a Child

2010-05-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

CJ is a handful. I'm pretty sure that's the understatement of the century. He is a strong-willed, stubbourn, noisy little human with the potential to drive anyone completely nuts. But, with all of that comes an amazing understanding of basic gospel principles and a remarkable faith in prayer. He also has an immeasurable ability to love. I'm the first to admit the kid can throw a tantrum with the best of them and has perfected the art of dirty looks. But, this is something else I'm referring to.

Unconditional love. CJ has it in him. Once a person gets a piece of CJ's heart, that person will have love until their dying day, and then some. He is loyal to the death. Well, mostly. I think that, with the right amount of candy, he probably could be bought. He is a red-blooded kid afterall.

He has created a special bond with a couple in our ward, J and L. They have two boys of their own who are both on their own and have moved out. CJ adores them. He talks about them day and night. He plans dates with them. He makes them more artistic treasures than I can count. He loves them unconditionally. I think they feel the same way about him, so it works out well.

The economy has not been kind to J and L. It has hit them hard, and they need to sell their house soon, or they will stand to lose everything. We are in the process of moving, too, and I thought CJ might be able to relate on some level.

I approached him this morning, and told him that J and L need to sell their house so they can get a new one and be happy. I kept it very simple for him, and asked him to say a prayer for them. Immediately the tears came. "J and L are leaving me and moving far away? I will miss them!". Apparently he doesn't understand just how far away we're moving. He was more than a little sad at the idea of them not being nearby.

I decided to let it go, and just let him do his thing. The next thing I knew, I walked past his room and could hear him sending up a very simple, but heart-felt prayer for J and L to sell their home and be able to be happy. Knowing how heart broken he is about losing them, I know how hard that prayer was for him. He's never had a sincere prayer go unanswered and he knows that. For him, this was an ultimate sacrifice.

I heard later on in the day that someone had come by to see J and L's home, and that the potential buyer liked it. He will be coming back to see it again later in the week. I told this to CJ, and he was pleased because he felt like he was a part of their potential success. He went back and prayed again that they can sell their home.

I'm not saying it was just CJ's prayer that moved this mountain for J and L. Who knows? Maybe the buyer will go elsewhere. That really isn't the point, is it? What I am saying is that children can have a profound understanding of what love is. It is knowing that the best thing for another person may be the hardest thing for ourselves. It is understanding that love means choosing that hard thing for ourselves so that the other person can be blessed.

CJ knows his Heavenly Father hears his prayers. He knows that his prayers can indeed move the mountains in the lives of others. And so he offered a simple prayer, and it was answered. I can only hope that I can someday learn to have half the faith of that child.

A Very Expensive Lesson to Learn

2010-05-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

I learned an important lesson this month. It's a lesson that I'm sure most people would roll their eyes and throw stones at me for having to learn the hard way really. Laugh if you must. I at least learned something from it. What is it, you ask? I learned that they people at the auto shop aren't kidding when they tell you to change your oil every 3,000 miles.

Yep. It really needs to be changed. Did you know that going almost 20,ooo miles without changing the oil WILL result in having to get a whole new motor? Yep. It will. Know what else? That motor will cost you nearly $4,000.oo to get. If you happen to be a rich person with money to throw away on the results of stupid mistakes, this is really no big deal. But, if you are like me, and you happen to be just a typical American doing your best to get by day by day AND buy a lovely new home for your family, $4,000.00 is a lot of money.

So, I was without my van for a week. A WEEK!!! Do you know what happens to the mother of five with no vehicle for a full week? It isn't pretty, let me tell you. I was ready to go and rent a donkey or a camel or some other beast of burden just so I could get out and about and do something, anything really. I was delighted when Byron came home and needed a gallon of milk. I immediately volunteered every chance I got to go and run the menial errands.

Then, we finally got the stupid thing back, and it died. Again. I called the repair shop all hot under the collar prepared to threaten them with...with...with CHILDREN! Yes! That was it! I'd tell them that they could take all the time they needed to fix it, and I'd be happy to wait in the sales office with all five kids. I'd tell them that Aiden would be good, but would sit there pouting the whole time because he wasn't with his friend, Jake, eating his mother's food. He insists that Jake's mom's food can be burnt and would still be better than mine. I'd invite CJ to ask the repair man all the questions he could think of and then tell him jokes. There isn't enough medication on the planet to help a repair guy who has CJ "helping" him do his job. Rachel would be polite enough, but would feel the need to sing every song she knows with all the wrong words and completely off key at the top of her lungs. Drezden would spend the entire time crying for his binky, which I would bring with me, and just forget that it was right there in the diaper bag. And Liam? Well, he'd poop. There isn't a ventilation system in the world strong enough to mask the horror that is Liam's poop.

That was my plan. I was going to bring the kids with me to help motivate them to get the job done. To my dismay, though, they were very polite and helpful. They came and towed the van in, and got straight to work on diagnosing the problem.

I learned another lesson that day. If you have a dead battery, and don't at least try to jump it, you'll end up paying for a new battery, the tow to get it to the shop. And, yes. All of that will be on top of the nearly $4,000.oo you paid the week before for not changing the oil.

New Boots!

2010-05-10T19:21:00.001-07:00

CJ has a special love for his cowboy boots. He has worn them EVERYWHERE. He wore them to school, to bed, to shower (he put them outside the shower door while he was in there), to play in the snow, to get school pictures taken, and to church.

They weren't new boots when he got them in the first place. They were actually hand-me-downs from Aiden. Regardless of how he came by them, they were a treasure and his whole heart went into wearing them. Sadly, CJ's beloved boots met their demise. They'd fallen apart before, but a little crazy glue held them together for a couple more months. This time, though, even crazy glue wouldn't fix them.

The fake leather (did I also mention they were from WalMart?) was coming off, the soles had come off, and they were as broken down as any boot could be. Still, CJ loved his boots and wanted to wear them everywhere. It was with a heavy heart that he finally gave in when I told him it was time to let them go.

Tonight, I surprised him with a Mommy Date. We drove to the cowboy store (no stinkin' WalMart boots for my little cowboy), and I set him free to choose himself some real boots. He was excited as could be, although I think it's because he also noted that there were cowboy toys there. Anyway, he proudly tried this pair on, and that was that. He was in love. We also went for a new haircut, but that paled in comparison to those great new boots.

I have a cowboy sleeping proudly cuddled up with his fabulous new boots dreaming of whatever it is that CJ dreams about. What could be better than a great pair of new boots?

Go Ahead. Laugh.

2010-05-10T19:13:00.000-07:00

I've hit a new low. I know. I thought my last new low was as low as it could go, but I beat even that one. Yep. It is indeed possible.

I had to go to WalGreens to buy old lady make-up. "Cover your age lines and wrinkles..." That stuff. I need it. It's not actually the wrinkles that are the problem as much as the dark circles under my eyes. Okay, and the wrinkles. At the same time, I had to buy some skin cleanser that I think is meant for pre-pubescent teenagers to help clean up the lovely acne in other parts of my face. I know. Classy, right?

Now, none of this would have been so embarrassing were it not for what happened on my way out of the store. (Okay, so it was still embarrassing, but the story sounds better if I add a little suspense or something). I had Liam with me, and was running late to pick up Rachel and Drezden from Mrs. Buffy's school.

I hurried out to the van carrying the baby, trying not to let him lose the balloon the lady at the make-up counter gave him, and hoping no one would note my many facial imperfections. I pushed the unlock button on my van and promptly opened the backdoor. Upon attempting to put Liam in the van, I realized it wasn't even my van!!! Oops! There was a very kind, very old, man in the driver's seat.

In my defense, the van I opened was the same make and model as mine. It even had the same sticker from the same dealership as mine. And it was parked right next to mine. Luckily, the older gentleman just smiled and let me continue on my way. But, I and my zits and bandaged up baby with the balloon was adequately mortified.

Go ahead. Laugh.

I Will NOT Use Potty Words. I Will NOT Use Potty Words. I Will NOT...

2010-05-04T13:39:00.000-07:00

*Deep sigh* Selling a house is a total pain in the butt. I mean, really. That's just how it is. We completely flipped this house and made it into everything we ever hoped and wished it could be...just in time to sell it. Figures. We got a buyer right away, which is no small miracle with the market the way it currently is. What do I have to complain about, right?

The answer is simple. EVERYTHING! We are days away from closing and our buyer just happens to mention that their financing has fallen through. Ack! What?!?!?! That's a problem. They *think* they have it figured out now, but it pushes the closing date back. No biggie, right? Well, we think not, but we are already under contract to purchase our amazing and wonderful house in the new area we're moving to.

Sometimes it's so hard to keep the faith instead of sitting down and crying and using potty words. I mean, I won't do that because how on earth can God bless me for having faith if I'm sitting in a corner swearing, right? That's not exactly showing great faith. Of course, no one ever said living and walking by faith would be easy. I've only ever heard that it'd be worth it.

I can't complain. Byron got this job by no small miracle. It was handed to us on a silver platter. Then, Liam and Drezden's health made total turn-arounds out of the blue. Then, we found out we're moving to a place where the leading pulmonology doctors for children is. Further, we found out that some of the leading oral Deaf schools are in the area we're going to. We sold our house (if it all goes through) for a profit, and found a new house in a matter of hours over the weekend that we were there hunting for a home. We discovered that our new ward has three other Deaf children all with cochlear implants.

So, with all of that going on, how could I not have faith that this little hiccup is just that? A hiccup. *Deep sigh* Apparently I still have a lot to learn. Of course, once I learn to live and truly walk by faith, I'll probably be dead.

Bet Ya' Thought I Was Dead or Something, Right?

2010-04-30T12:48:00.000-07:00

Nope! I've been here the whole time. Things have been CRAZY around here. Our house sold, we went to the new place we're moving to and chose a fabulous house, the kids are doing great, and well...that about sums it up, doesn't it?

CJ is doing worlds better at school. He still has a couple of off days, but nothing to really complain about it. It helps that his friend, Jim, motivates him with Dairy Queen ice cream cones dipped in magic shell. He seemed to sort of hit rock bottom and actually ended up making his sweet teacher break down in tears. Poor thing! I felt for her.

Aiden is suddenly quite the little man. He tells me I need to get ready because he's pretty sure he's going to hit puberty soon. He checks his armpits for hair regularly. Apparently he's unaware that hair might grow elsewhere. I'm thinking I'll let him go ahead and get that surprise later.

Rachel grew! I mean, she has really just grown into a beautiful little girl on me. I can't believe how beautiful she has gotten. She reminds me that she's still my girl when she makes little comments like, "Mom, a fart in the tubby and it makes bubbles". She really knows how to warm the heart.

Drezden is talking up a blue streak. His favorite word is, of course, poop. That's how I know he really is my kid. He also uses NO frequently. He has really taken to cuddling up in bed with Aiden to sleep. They're best buddies.

Liam has made leaps and bounds progress!!! HE IS NOT USING OXYGEN ANYMORE!!! The Amazing Dr. Sanchez is as surprised as we are by his progress. He's just doing so great. He still has one test to take at home to be sure his sleeping oxygen levels are safe, but that's about it. He has developed his own little sense of humor and seems to think crawling backwards and chasing my dirt pile around while I sleep is hilarious.

An Easier Decision Than We Thought

2010-04-02T06:02:00.001-07:00

We are going to move to the area closest to Byron's work. After lots of research, we have discovered that the ward area we love so much doesn't have one single house in our price range that would meet our needs. That made it a pretty simple decision. I think we will benefit from amazing friendships in the other ward even if we don't live directly in their boundaries.

Decisions, Decisions

2010-04-01T14:41:00.000-07:00

I may have made mention of the fact that we are being relocated. Things have really fallen into place and the Lord has made clear that it is absolutely His intention for us to go to this new place. While we hate to leave behind those that we dearly love here, we know there are blessings to be found there. Hopefully we will also be able to bring blessings to those we meet.

We have a big decision to make right now, though. Where should we live? The decision was going to be quite simple until last week when everything changed for us.

A few weeks ago (maybe even a couple of months), I got a message on my hearing loss blog about a boy who was working on his Eagle Scout project. He was creating a blog and a website for deaf and hard of hearing kids like himself to get to know each other and share stories. The poster asked me to put a link on my blog to his and then to write up a story for his website. No problem. I posted the link, and then went over to his site and told him he could use any stories or experiences from my blog he wanted.

Last week, he e-mailed me and said he’d noticed that I had “I am a Child of God” and “Teach Me to Walk in the Light” playing on my blog. He asked if I happened to be LDS. I told him that I was, and he then asked to friend me on facebook. I agreed.
About a day later, I got a PM from him saying that he’d noticed that I mentioned moving to the place we're going to. This shocked him because he lives there. His dad is the bishop of his ward. He was so excited about this. To be honest, I was stunned. My blog has been up for over a year now, and this was the first time I’d made contact with him. It just seemed like things were falling into place.

We exchanged questions and answers, and I learned that his ward has him and TWO OTHER FAMILIES WITH DEAF CHILDREN. There are 3 year old twins and a 9 year old girl who all have hearing loss in his ward. This is totally unusual for a hearing ward. Plus, all their youth know ASL because this young man has taught it to his peers. Built-in babysitters.

I spoke with the young man’s mom the other day, and she describes the ward as if it’s like the amazing one we’re already in. It’s small, but not minute. There are other parents who have already juggled the school district and told us which schools are great vs. which ones are not. Their ward is having a dinner and silent auction fund raiser for the youth on one of the nights we’ll be there looking for houses, and we were invited to join them that evening. We will be there.

Then, my bishop from when I was a youth contacted me to give me the names of some of the people he felt could help us find a good ward. He had lived in in the same place we're going, and found some good people. That sister called me today and went on and on about how great this young man’s ward is and how happy we’d be there.

It’s very close to the oral Deaf schools, the children’s hospital, and really anything we’d need. The catch? It is about a 30-45 minute commute for Byron. We really didn’t want to consider an area with more than a 20 minute commute. It really feels like we’re being led to this particular ward in some ways. So, what would you do?

Rachel's Practically Perfect Pink Party

2010-03-01T20:53:00.000-08:00

The whole group!
There they are again!!

Rachel's cupcake looks like it might need more decorations.

Princess M

Rachel and Princess K

CJ and Princess E, the love of his life.

This might very well be an engagement picture.

Drezden and his fine work of art.

Rachel with Princess E and Princess A making Valentines.

Princess C prefers purple. Princess S and Princess E had great ideas, too!

Aiden and CJ were the proud big brother helpers.

We sure appreciated some extra personal assistants to help with the cupcake decorations.

CJ and his future sister-in-law, Princess S

Purple Princess C

Princess C and a very excited Princess S

Princess A loves her pink nails!!

Rachel has been wanting to have a pink party for months now. She has it in her head that the party MUST happen asap. Her birthday isn't until this summer, so it wasn't like she was "due" for a party. That said, her sweet little princess heart was set on having this party.

We are moving this summer (an entirely different post that is soon to come. I promise.), and we'll more than likely move just a couple weeks before her birthday. Since I knew she's not likely to have a real birthday party, I decided that we could compromise and have a Valentine party. She was satisfied with that, so I started calling all her local princess friends' personal assistants (their moms, but don't tell the princesses. They are convinced that their mothers really are personal assistants just like Rachel is just sure I'm here to be her personal assistant as well).

We let all the princesses know that they should wear their favorite pink ensembles and come prepared for the pinkest party ever. Little princesses can absolutely be counted on to wear the pinkest of the pink everything!!!!

As they arrived, they got to create craft foam Valentines. From there, we moved to having them each select a lovely pink bracelet and then their favorite shade of pink nail polish. We had pink toes, pink fingers, pink carpets, and well...a whole lot pink.

After our pampering was done, we moved to our pink cupcakes. Each guest got some pink frosting and was allowed to decorate her pink cupcake any way she wanted. We also had conversation hearts and pink M&Ms for decorating cupcakes. Lastly, we enjoyed reading "Pinkalicious" while dining on our most delicious cupcakes.

It was the most perfect pink party there ever was!!!

The Great Snowstorm of 2010

2010-02-21T12:22:00.000-08:00

Aiden's friend, J, came and played with us for a while, too.

Drezden only got to go out for a few minutes, but he had a blast enjoying the snow with his sister.

Rachel had way too much fun in the cold.

CJ decided he was cold

Aiden's "Giant Snowball"

I've missed a couple weeks of blogging due to chaos at our house. Chaos? I know. Shocking that there would be any kind of craziness in our neck of the woods. Things are usually so ho hum around here, right? Ha!!

At any rate, there is certainly plenty to catch up on. Perhaps the most exciting thing was a visit from Old Man Winter. It wasn't a very long visit, but still enough to leave behind some lasting memories. The kids were so delighted.

The snow started on a Thursday morning, and just kept coming and coming and coming. I could tell the kids would be released early from school, so I ran to WalMart for some boots and gloves for the kids. For some reason, in the middle of February at WalMart you can find a thong bikini and pool accessories, but not snow gear. Go figure. So, I settled for rain boots and some clearance gloves. It was a good choice to buy the gloves, too. We were the only ones on the block with any gloves and ended up outfitting the whole neighborhood. One would think that would make me the coolest mom EVER, but my children say it really doesn't. It just means their friends don't have to wear socks on their hands. Figures.

At any rate, you can see that we got a LOT of snow that day. It turned out to be the snowiest single day in recorded history of our area. That's cool, I guess. It was also a great photo day.

Aiden's Big Announcement

2010-02-05T06:06:00.000-08:00

Aiden has been bugging me for weeks about wanting new shoes. He goes through these weird phases where he gets an idea in his head and won't let it go. I told him we'd discuss it after he got his room cleaned. Apparently he REALLY wanted new shoes because his room is clean. Well, at least the parts I can see are clean. I didn't check under his bed or in his closet for fear of what would jump out and attack me.

I took him last night and we started at Payless. He found a pair of Converse hightops he wanted, but each one took no less than ten minutes to put on. This is a kid who never even unties his shoes. He just takes them off, dumps them where they are, and hopes to slip them on in the morning after going nuts trying to find them. Our mornings are crazy enough without adding another ten minutes per foot to it. So, I put my foot down. (Get it? Put my foot down. I know. I'm so punny.) I insisted that I would not pay for those, but he could use his own money to pay for them, and suggested we go to Target.

Praise Target, I tell you. They were having a Converse clearance. He found two pair he couldn't choose between and then a third pair that were more supportive, and he kind of liked. All three were on clearance and the total was still less than the cost of the one pair he'd originally chosen. So, I let him have all three. I'm not really sure who honestly won that battle. He didn't get the pair he wanted, but I somehow walked away having purchased him three pairs of shoes instead of the one we originally went for.

As we were walking through the store picking up the few other things we needed, Aiden decided completely out of the blue and in full voice to make an announcement. I mean it was totally out of the blue.

"Mom, I'm going to be hitting puberty soon, you know." Ummmm. Wow! Thanks for the heads up on that, son. I'll be sure to mark it on the calendar.

He Loves All His Children.

2010-02-01T13:18:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning with a list a mile long of things I need to accomplish throughout the day. Shopping was one of them. We had nothing in the house. I hustled around, got the kids out the door, ran a couple small errands, and finally wound up at Wal Mart with the three littlest ones, the oxygen tank, and a shopping cart the size of a small train. (You know the ones that hold three kids, but are impossible to steer).

By the time we got there, it was well after lunch time and Rachel and Drezden were hungry. Since they'd been so patient all morning, I took them to the McDonald's in the back of the store for some fine cuisine. I had to take the shopping cart in with me because I didn't want to hold Liam or have him crawling all over the place, and their high chairs are all a broken mess.

I ordered our meal, got the kids situated (no small task), and started to enjoy my thoroughly malnutrious meal. As I was eating, I noticed a man I'd seen on the streets come into the restaurant. I didn't recall him out there with the few panhandlers we have, but I'd seen him under the overpasses before. It's the first of the month and so very cold outside right now, so I figured that's why he was there.

He was wearing a flannel shirt, a bright red stocking cap, a denim thick 80's style coat, and some, blue jeans, and some worn out sneakers. The years on his face looked about double his actual age. He looked tired. So tired. But delighted to being enjoying a BigMac. I watched as he carefully placed his burger and fries with a drink on his table, and then to my suprise he bowed his head and said a rather long prayer. By the expression on his face, it was clear he was putting a lot of thought into his prayer of thanks.

I didn't want to stare, so I averted my eyes and focused on my children. Rachel was bugging me to dress her "naked frog from my bag" and Drezden wanted his lego race car put together. You just gotta' love the junk....er, I mean lovely toys...that comes in McDonald's happy meals. I fixed their toys, talked to Liam, and just went about my business.

While all this was going on, I had this very strong, very nagging feeling that I should buy this man some cookies. What?? This is entirely out of my character. I never turn down anyone who asks me for food, but I don't ever initiate somethin like that, either. I pushed the thought aside and continued to go about my business.

The more I tried to avoid it, the stronger the feeling became. There was a voice in my heart that spoke as clear as day. "Get that person some cookies and let Rachel give it to them." Again, I tried to avoid it. I was thinking about what I'd do with the kids, etc. Finally, the feeling overtook me and I gave in. I told Rachel and Drezden to stay in their seats and wheeled the giant buggy through the restaurant to order three sugar cookies. It cost me all of a dollar. I thought about throwing $5 in the bag, but didn't want to offend the person.

I took the bag to our table, sat down, and handed it to Rachel. "Do you see that gentleman over there? I want you to give him this bag and tell him Happy Valentine's Day.". She looked over. "The man with the red hat?" "Yes. That's the one. Go do it." I couldn't believe what I was hearing myself say. I spend forever teaching my kids to avoid stranger danger, and here I was sending her over to a stranger to give him cookies. She was only going about 8 feet away and I was watching. But still.

I watched her every move as she went over, patted him on the shoulder, and got his attention. "This is for you. Happy Valentine's Day." And she tried to walk away. Then I saw it. The smile that came across this person's face was like something I've never seen. Though there were no more than 10 teeth in that mouth, it was a radiant smile. I mean, really. There are just no words for it.

"This is for me?" It was the voice of a young woman. It was at that moment that I realized just what life had done to her. Walking wherever those shoes had taken her has taken its toll. I nodded back at her with an awkward smile. Rachel didn't seem at all awkward. "Yep! That's for you. My mom said so. Happy Valentine's Day." And she walked straight up to me. "Mama, that's not a man. That's a lady." "I know, Rachel. I made a mistake."

The woman stood up. "It's not Valentine's Day. It's my birthday. Praise God, He remembered me. It's going to be a good day afterall." I smiled back, "Well, happy birthday then." "God bless you, ma'am. This is a gift from God for my birthday. Thank you."

I couldn't believe it. I think that woman did far more for me today than I could have ever done for her. I wished I'd have put the extra $5 in the bag, but maybe next time. I did my good deed. I apparently answered her prayer asking God to remember her.

She saw us in the store later on, and thanked us again. She was purchasing one of those sterno things to keep warm with. It made me remember to be grateful for the incredible blessings I already have. Here was a woman without a friend in the world pouring out her heart in a restaurant offering thanks for a Big Mac. A Big Mac! And it was a lengthy prayer. And here I was, warm in my home having plenty to eat and safety, too. I don't often remember to give thanks, at least not like that.

Happy birthday, ma'am. May you be blessed, and always know that you will never be forgotten by your Heavenly Father. He loves all His children.

Cereal and Ice Cream for Dinner

2010-01-31T17:51:00.000-08:00

On Friday, CJ asked me to make cereal and ice cream for dinner. I wanted to please him, but the weather was bad and I didn't have enough of everything to do that. Last night, I decided to surprise him. I bought several of those over priced tiny boxes of cereal, two kinds of ice cream, bananas, hot fudge, chopped nuts, magic shell, cherries, whipped cream, strawberry sauce, and something else I can't remember right now.

When I served them, I'm pretty sure they decided in that moment that I am the COOLEST MOM EVER. Of course, it was a short-lived coolness. Still, for that moment in time, I was pretty cool. And, to think, all it took was cereal and ice cream for dinner.

Pots Rock!

2010-01-31T17:35:00.000-08:00

On Friday, I found myself in a particularly good mood and feeling rather open minded. I didn't accomplish a whole lot around the house because Rachel, Drezden, and Liam were all home "helping" me. As I tried to clean the kitchen, they decided to see what they could do to make noise. At first, Rachel wanted to use some glass mixing bowls which I immediately nixed. I hate cleaning up shards of glass with the bottoms of my feet. I must have had some sort of out of body experience because I suddenly heard myself saying, "Hey! Let's make a rock band!" They were so delighted. I handed each of them a pot or metal mixing bowl and a variety of kitchen utensils to bang with. It was so loud that Liam was able to enjoy it even without his hearing aids in.

You can watch the video of their first pot rock concert right here. As you can plainly see, it was all fun and games until someone got hit by a flying utensil or Godzilla Baby came crawling through.

The Big Bully!

2010-01-29T10:05:00.000-08:00

Aiden has been especially grumpy the past couple of days, particularly when talking about school. I knew something was probably up, but have learned from experience that it's best to let him bring it up. Finally this morning, while screaming that he just couldn't go to school anymore, he told me what has been going on.

"I'm being bullied, mom". Now my brain goes immediately to some big kid picking on my poor moderately scrawny kid. I'm picturing him being threatened within inches of his life or being given swirlies in the bathroom or having his lunch shoved up his nose when no one is looking. My blood is boiling that someone would bully my kid.

In my effort to be sympathetic, I ask "Can you tell me who is bullying you?". Big tears come. "It's Taylor." Taylor? Who the heck is Taylor? I've never heard of him before. I ask him to tell me more about Taylor. "SHE sits by me in class."

Great! He's being picked on by one of those mean girls. She's probably poking fun at his rather large ears (he gets that from my side of the family) or maybe it's about all of his freckles (also from me, and I LOVE them) or perhaps even his clothes. You know how girls can be. Just mean, right? Again, trying to be sympathetic, I ask "Well, what is she doing that is bullying you?". More big tears. "She's saying untrue things about me that are hurtful". I knew it! Mean girl, I tell you.

"Can you tell me what she says about you that are untrue?" I'm bracing myself for the worst. Maybe she'd say he lives in the ghetto, or his mama is so fat she buys new refrigerators so she can wear the boxes, or or or...well, something just awful.

He buried his head in his pillow and just yelled and yelled nothingness. I finally calmed him down and said, "I need to have you tell me what she is saying so I can help make it better". Finally, he told me what the bullying was about. Are you ready for this?

"She says I have poor penmanship". Yep. That's the bullying he's suffering.

I told him about the cruel stuff I endured as a kid. I grew up in a less conventional home and was always poor. I had Salvation Army glasses, tacky clothes, bad hair, teeth with a big gap in them, and a last name that was rather easy to make fun of.

He finally decided to suck it up and go to school. Crisis averted. But, really? Penmanship? Really? Here I was all ready to stick up for my kid for the long haul when all he really needs is a better pencil sharpener. Nice.

What a week!

2010-01-24T10:11:00.000-08:00

I swear I'm walking around with a big fat "Kick Me!" sign attached to my back. That's the only thing that can explain some of the wild things that go on around here. This past week has been no exception. I've blogged the details RIGHT HERE. Get some popcorn. This is a long one. And I haven't even written the strongly worded letter yet.

Note to Self: Wear a Raincoat

2010-01-17T12:55:00.000-08:00

Liam has had some trouble with eating. He is gaining plenty of weight and takes a bottle like a champ, but solid foods aren't going so well. Anything with chunks or that doesn't have the same flavor as vanilla yogurt or bananas will usually result in heavy gagging, choking, and a general feeling of impending death. We're working with him on it, but he seems to be winning the battle.

On top of that, he is incredibly stubbourn about not wanting to wear his hearing aids. I know this comes as a shock to hear that one of my precious angels might be stubbourn about anything. Rest assured, though, it's true. I'm sure I have no idea where any of them might have gotten that trait from. The problem with him refusing to wear his hearing aids is that we aren't stimulating his auditory brainstem, and speech will be more difficult for him later.

We had his annual ECI IFSP meeting this past week, and I was instructed that it's time to stop telling him no with a smile when he pulls off his aids. I'm supposed to show him my grumpy face and firmly say no while also signing it. Have you met this kid??!? He is just adorable and sweet and happy and loving, and someone is telling me to tell him no??? (Actually, I'm fine with that. Just ask Aiden. I say no all the time. According to him, in fact, I am the "meanest mom in the world".) It's the part where I have to show grumpiness that I hate. Poor kid.

Plus, I'm supposed to start introducing more flavors. The best suggestion is to go ahead and dip his binky in a new flavor and offer it that way. Okay, I guess that seems reasonable enough, right?

Friday, I decided to get a babysitter so Byron could surprise me by taking me out on a date. (Yes, you read that right. Sometimes a girl has to take matters into her own hands if she wants to be taken out). Since Liam has some issues and there are five kids, we opted to bring him with us. I decided that this would be a great chance to work on requiring the aids and offering him new flavors.

We went to the Olive Garden so we could use Byron's gift card from Christmas. As soon as we sat at the table, Liam went for his hearing aids. He was determined NOT to wear those suckers no matter what. Three times in a row he did it, and three times in a row I showed him no with my very firm face and the sign while also taking his hand away from his ears. The result? A broken heart!!! Poor Liam's eyes just filled with tears and a big frown came over his face. It was like I'd just told him there is no Santa Clause. Finally, I just did him a favor and took the hearing aids out for hm so they could be put in a safe place.

Then the food came out. Byron loves to order extra alfredo dipping sauce for the bread sticks. Suddenly I had a really bright idea!!! I would dip Liam's binky in the alfredo sauce. What could go wrong there? I fed him a full container of his yogurt, and then dipped the binky in the sauce. I was just sure this was going to be my most genius idea yet...right up there with taking all five kids to Target by myself just for fun.

Almost as quickly as I put the binky in his mouth the gagging began, then some sputtering and then tears coming down his cheeks as he tried for all he was worth to hold his beloved yogurt with him. And then it happened. Picture a scene from The Exorcist. I had no idea that one little tongue full of alfredo sauce could elicit such a response, but I was wearing the proof that it was indeed possible.

The moral of the story? Next time I listen to and fullow through with instructions from ECI, I should be fully prepared to feel like an ogre...and I should at the very least wear a raincoat.