Quit Pimping Out My Kid!

I have a pet peeve. Okay, the truth is I have a lot of pet peeves. Today we're discussing one of my biggies, though. (Yes, they're all big, but just humor me okay?) Today's rant of the week? School fund raisers. Yep. We're talking about the dreaded cheap toy prizes, the way overpriced wrapping paper, the useless kitchen "decor", the ugly jewelry (that wouldn't be so bad if it were even moderately priced), the door to door money begging, the not so yummy but horribly price gauged chocolate, and the pain in my butt that comes through the door every single freaking school year.

Let's really think this thing through, shall we? To start with, the school get a VERY small percentage of what is earned. If kids are going to go all over creation begging people we hope will still be our friends when all is said and done for sales on items that no one wants, at least the school should have something to show for it.

Then there's the fact that no one wants the stuff being sold. Yes, we all need gift wrap, but not at eight bucks for enough to wrap a matchbox car. For that price, it should at least be made of pure gold or something. Wouldn't it make more sense to at least offer something people want??

My next rant about school fund raisers is the "prizes" the kids get to earn. Do we really have to have a huge assembly where we psyche them all up to win rubber duckies and $2 pieces of plastic molded into rocket ships guaranteed to self-destruct before the kid makes it off the bus with it? Do we really have to tell them that if their mommies and daddies don't allow them to do the fund raisers they'll never have a chance to win these fine pieces of junk? Nothing says love more than learning that you're "the meanest mom in the whole world" because you've crushed all their hopes and dreams of winning a rubber ducky and entering their name in a contest to win a prize that ten million other children also have their names on?

This year they've stooped to a new low. They're sending home "samples" of the products. Really?!!? You gave my first grader a $30 Entertainment book (which is actually a moderately good product, but NOT in the hands of a first grader!!!!!) and told him to just return it when he's done or bring back the money to own it. By the time the book got off the book, he'd already removed all the "free" gift cards and bonded to the book to the extent that he was completely sure it was his own. Nice.

There are so many other much more affective ways to earn money for a kid's school. How about a silent auction with donations collected by the kids from local businesses or their parents' work places? How about a carnival where students buy little tickets for the fun little activities? What about a dinner night where everyone pays to get in? The possibilities are endless, and they don't include pimping out my kids by sending them door to door try to pawn off a bunch of junk.

Please, this is a request from a tired mother of FIVE who doesn't want to spend the rest of her life dreading the start of the school year just because of the horrors of fall fundraisers. Please, for the love of all that is good in this world, quit pimping out my kid!