Can you find our missing poop?

I always put the Beast into a pull-up before putting him to bed. He tends to poop at night. I'd let him just get up and use the bathroom, but that would require him actually getting up and using the bathroom. That would also mean I'd have to allow for him to get out of his room. Doing such a crazy thing would leave room to potentially destroy the whole house in my sleep. So, there's a doorknob cover that Number One can open, but the Beast can't.

On the nights that he poops, he kind enough to get up and remove his pull-up and place it on the dresser for me to find in the morning. Sort of like a "Aren't ya' glad you got out of bed this morning?" kind of gift to help me start my day off right. After taking off the pull-up, he'll usually put on some pair of underwear, not typically belonging to him. Again, a gift.

This morning, I found his pull-up on the dresser like always. He was in underwear, and remarkably it actually belonged to him. What a surprise!!! He'd even put his jammie bottoms back on. Again, this was shaping up to be a great day.

Well, it was going to be good until I looked more closely at the pull-up. Upon closer inspection, I found a poop stain, but no poop. Anywhere. Now this is not the type of kid to just put on underwear without just cause. On the contrary, it's all I can do to get him to change anything. If he changed that pull-up, there was poop in it.

So, the question remains: Where did the Beast put his poop? He has a history of hiding it in sock drawers. I'll have to look there. He also loves to put questionable items in his brother's bed. Hmmmm...but where in the bed would he have hidden it? Or perhaps he's got it in some special place where it can fossilize and his sister can eventually think of it as a rock to build with . That will be a pleasant surprise for me, won't it?

For those of you who are interested in being future FBI agents, your services are officially requested. Any profilers out there? Get into this kid's mind for me. Where is the poop?

I know what you really want to read about...and I'm okay with it.

People say they want to hear all about me and how the King and I are doing. We know the truth. What you really want is to see and hear about the kids. I'm okay with that. They are far more interesting than me anyway.

Let's start with Number One. That makes sense since he did come first. (Well, the King came first, but I'm certainly not his Mama. I'm his Weefy). Number One is all boy. He's come a long way in the past couple of years. For the longest time, I was just sure he'd be in prison before ever graduating high school. Now, I have some hope for him. He may graduate high school. College will remain to be seen. Just to be safe, though, I have encouraged him to befriend a local district attorney at church...just in case.

Number One has developed talents that I would never have guessed for him. He just started his school's gifted program. I know. Who would have thought one of MY kids would ever wind up there? Most people figured kids coming from me would be riding the short bus. Nope. Not this one. He's studying archeology, and really seems like he's enjoying it. He has discovered that digging through a person's trash can tell you a lot about that person. Um, that's nice to know. It can also give you diseases and possibly get you arrested. (Again, the reason he's befriended the one guy from church).

Number One is also doing amazingly well at soccer. It's taken us three and a half years, but he's no longer picking dandilions while the ball goes whizzing by his head. He actually knows what he's doing and plays a tough game. His favorite position is goalie, and he plays it surprisingly well. He's also in his school's drumline and has just started piano lessons. Thankfully, I've gotten really good at drowning out too much noise.

Other interests for Number One are basketball, cooking, Food Network, and sewing baby clothes. I'm really not sure where he got all those from, but he's just sure he's going to be the next Food Network star. Who am I to discourage him? That could bring in good money and insure me a great retirement.

The Beast just turned 4 this month. I'm shocked! It seems like he was just born. I still remember his blessing day like it was yesterday. I still can't say I'm sure he'll be out of prison. But, I can say I'm sure he will escape easily. Seriously, this kid could have gotten out of Alcatraz much faster than those other guys. And he wouldn't have gotten wet in the process. He's amazing. He has recently taken up karate to help increase his balance and gross motor skills. Ummm....we have a long way to go on that, but he's enjoying it. He hasn't figured out yet that he can use it on his siblings. Again, he's still new at it. He shoul have it figure out sometime soon.

His speech is totally understandable, and seems to happen all. the. time. It appears he has quite a case of verbal diarrhea. Hmmmm...wonder where he got that. He still needs to develop some vocabulary so he can express himself better, but we're working with him on that. It will be nice when he gets to a point where he can tell me all that's running through that busy little brain of his.

He is quite the little engineer, like his dad. So far, he's disassembled the bunk beds, figured out every lock on the house, and used glue to create...um...well...okay, I don't even know how to describe it. But he creates a lot. He also is amazingly skilled at computers and handheld video games. I never cease to be amazed at the way his mind works. Oh, and he likes to play with things he finds in our "special drawer" in the bedroom. Who knew a condom could double as a candy dispenser to give as a gift the the neighbors?

Then, there's Beauty. She was not ever given the memo that she's a girl apparently. We got her a baby doll for her birthday. She uses the head to bang up against the crib bars to tell us she's awake. Nice. She loves to play with balls, blocks, cars, and trucks. Can you tell she's got older brothers? It doesn't help that she's about to have a younger one, too.

Beauty is my earliest walker and she's good at it. I think she believes she needs to be doing exactly what her brothers do. Great. I really needed that. She is into everything. And I do mean everything.

She's very talented, too. She can sneak up behind the Beast, steal his cochlear implant processor right off his head, and get away all before he has a chance to realize it's even gone. That's fast. She can also add some very creative decorations to Number One's homework. And can this kid poop! Hey, that counts as a talent when it comes in multiple colors, right?

We are very excited for Number Four to come the day after Thanksgiving. I'm trying to convince my doctor to let me have the surgery in the afternoon. He thinks I'm nuts, but Hello?!?! Have you seen the sales at the butt crack of dawn on Black Friday?!! These are not to be taken lightly. So, we'll see. We do have a name picked out. The King had a dream in which he heard the name. It took me some time to adjust to it, but I love it now. LOVE it.

Just Another Manic Monday...I Mean Wednesday

So, what is there to say? Not much really. Well, I guess there is always something to say. In the case of the King and I, it's more a matter of just not ever having the time to say it all. Number One is always busy with school, drumming club, piano, or soccer. He likes to make sure I'm always on the run. The Beast has a crazy, wild schedule, too. He loves going to school, and spends lots of time looking forward to karate. He can't seem to get enough of jab, jab, cross, kicking. He's just sure he's all that and a bag of chips. We can't believe how far he's come. This kid never shuts up...though we were told from the beginning that he'd never speak. Talk about irony, hun? Tinkerbell loves to drive The Beast nuts. Now that she's walking, she has even more creative ways of torturing him. Her most recent is taking his cochlear implant processor right off his head. What a stinker!!! She also delights in removing the keyboard from the desk when he's playing on the computer. No sibling rivalry here at all. Truth be told, they all do it to each other. But, they work together when it comes to torturing the King and I.