Friday, September 21, 2007

Can you find our missing poop?

I always put the Beast into a pull-up before putting him to bed. He tends to poop at night. I'd let him just get up and use the bathroom, but that would require him actually getting up and using the bathroom. That would also mean I'd have to allow for him to get out of his room. Doing such a crazy thing would leave room to potentially destroy the whole house in my sleep. So, there's a doorknob cover that Number One can open, but the Beast can't.

On the nights that he poops, he kind enough to get up and remove his pull-up and place it on the dresser for me to find in the morning. Sort of like a "Aren't ya' glad you got out of bed this morning?" kind of gift to help me start my day off right. After taking off the pull-up, he'll usually put on some pair of underwear, not typically belonging to him. Again, a gift.

This morning, I found his pull-up on the dresser like always. He was in underwear, and remarkably it actually belonged to him. What a surprise!!! He'd even put his jammie bottoms back on. Again, this was shaping up to be a great day.

Well, it was going to be good until I looked more closely at the pull-up. Upon closer inspection, I found a poop stain, but no poop. Anywhere. Now this is not the type of kid to just put on underwear without just cause. On the contrary, it's all I can do to get him to change anything. If he changed that pull-up, there was poop in it.

So, the question remains: Where did the Beast put his poop? He has a history of hiding it in sock drawers. I'll have to look there. He also loves to put questionable items in his brother's bed. Hmmmm...but where in the bed would he have hidden it? Or perhaps he's got it in some special place where it can fossilize and his sister can eventually think of it as a rock to build with . That will be a pleasant surprise for me, won't it?

For those of you who are interested in being future FBI agents, your services are officially requested. Any profilers out there? Get into this kid's mind for me. Where is the poop?


AimeeTheSuperMom said...

Update: I found the poop hidden in an unused dresser drawer. With it were some other very nice surprises. I'd been wondering where all of Number One's returned homework was. It's in many pieces now. Many pieces. Where are the scissors that made those pieces? Again, enquiring minds want to know. At least the poop mystery is now solved.

Nettie said...

My best scissors are still missing. Thankfully none of our poop is. Glad you found yours!

Have you considered putting one of those portable potties next to his bed. You know, to make your morning gifts more flushable?

AimeeTheSuperMom said...

If I thought for one second that he'd use the portable potty, I'd totally put it in there for him. But alas, he seems to poop in his sleep and then wake up when he rolls over onto it. GROSS!!!

heidi and tom said...

I'm glad you found your poop. Must of been quite a relief....

Keep up the hilarious posts...they keep me entertained!


Anonymous said...

this is the second time I'm reading this story....and it still makes me shudder. Glad you found the poop though