Thursday, October 18, 2007

I'm putting out a single's ad

We have a family member who has been acting "different" since July. I know it's because his best friend died, and he's just been lonely. He's always been good to the kids, and even lets them call him Miztur Biggz. He's friendly, but very shy. I would dare to say he's actually painfully shy.

Anyway, since he's been acting so funny, I thought it was time to take him to the dr. He didn't want to go, but I tricked him into it. It had gotten so he wasn't even taking the time to take a bath, and something had to be done. So, the doctor looked him over and told us he's lonely and that's causing him to be depressed. He said we could put him on a lifetime of Prozac, or just help him find a companion.

A companion! Now why didn't I think of that?!?! It's true that he's lonely since his friend died, and he doesn't get out much. I mean, he goes out for fresh air, but never really leaves the area. I don't think he has ever been to Wal-Mart.

So, I took it upon myself to create him a Single's Ad. Here it is. Any ideas on how to improve it? I really want him to have luck in this area.

Hi! I'm a SWM with brown eyes. I'm physically fit, but somewhat larger than other guys like me. I love to run, but also love a lazy day of just hanging around with friends. I'm a little bit shy when I first meet new people, so it takes me longer to meet new friends.I love long walks, cuddling, and licking my privates. If I really like you, I'll sniff your privates, too. Some people say this is an unattractive trait, but it's just a part of me. I really am looking more for a long-term relationship with someone who is not interested (or able) to have children, but enjoys cuddling up and sleeping in my bed with me. I've included a picture. Please call if you're interested.

Oh, did I forget to mention that this is our Chihuahua, Miztur Biggz (his real name)?


heidi and tom said...

I'm certainly glad that you don't have a human relative that likes to sniff his privates. Lovely visual by the way. Poor little buddy. Good luck with finding him a compatible friend.


AimeeTheSuperMom said...

We've solved his problem!!! He's sleeping in bed with Number One!! Well, not entirely. He's in his cage and his cage is in the bed. I don't trust him not to poop, and we already know I have enough trouble with the poop from the Beast (who hasn't had an accident in nearly two weeks!!!). Anyway, Number One loves it, and Miztur Biggz is happy again. Who knew? Oh, and Number One reads him a bedtime story every night, too. Silly kid.