How Did THAT Happen?

It's been an interesting month looking back. Snort had his hypospadias surgery and we got a really good doctor who seems to have figured out how to help him with his breathing issues. The King had some sort of chemical acid spill that got into his company's air ducts for a few minutes requiring a Hazmat visit and a short lock-out. (It's all better and no one was hurt, by the way). Number One has spent plenty of time working on his "tough guy" attitude, much to my dismay. He has also starting learning the value of money. A small allowance for special chores is really setting in with him. The Beast has learned to change the programs on his hearing devices, and temporarily lost one for us. Not to worry, folks. I'm always one step ahead of that kid. Pretty has discovered the fine art of climbing and tantrum throwing. Neither of those is particularly attractive, but what can I say?

So, with all of these fine things happening, I can assure that the King and I have found no time at all to do "married people things". You know what I'm talking about. Sex. We haven't done it. I swear. If, by some strange chance it did happen, I'm sure I wasn't there. Or maybe I was asleep. Or maybe I was just far too lost on Planet Housework and Planning to remember doing it. But, the story I'm sticking to is that we absolutely didn't do it.

Why am I sharing this with you? Well, because something very interesting and totally unexplainable has happened. I've gotten cranky. Really cranky. And I'm so tired by about 8pm. Too tired to really enjoy Survivor or Dancing With the Stars. And I've lost interest in American Idol. And, I've started feeling lazy. Really lazy. You should see the pile of laundry I have to tackle. Yikes! And my memory is going. Honestly, I can sit through a conferance or long conversation with a doctor, and walk out not remembering one word that was said.

Anyway, it was on my mind a little bit that all this was going on. I figured it was because I've had so much stress with Snort's health and trying to keep up with four kids and everything else. I thought maybe it was time to head to a shrink or something.

And then I looked at the calendar. And then I looked at it again. And again. Carefully, very carefully, I counted days. Oh. My. GOSH!!! Five days late. Again, I let it go. I figured all the stress and nursing were messing with my cycle. The next morning, I quietly got up while the King was sleeping in. I had a little something in the bathroom I needed to do. That's when I started to cry. How could this be? How did THAT happen? How the heck to TWO LINES show up on that pregnancy test??????

I had some blood work done because I'm the queen of miscarrying. The doctor's office called yesterday. This one is going to stick, at least they think. I go today to make sure the HCG is doubling, but there doesn't seem to be a problem.

Sigh. I've got to get an encyclopedia so I can find out where babies come from.

***UPDATE***
The HCG bloodwork came back more than doubled. Apparently this really is happening.

Mommy, You Butt is So Big

I took off my robe and bent over to get some garments just as the Beast walked into the room.

Beast: (shocked) Mommy, you have a butt!!!
Me: Yes, Beast, I do. We all have a butt.
Beast: But, Mommy, you butt is soooo big.
Me: It's just a butt Beast. We all have a butt.
Beast: Daddy have a butt too?
Me: yes.
Beast: Grandma have a butt?
Me: yes.
Beast: Ms. Lori (his teacher) have a butt, too?
Me: yes. We all have a butt.
Beast: Mommy, you butt is too big.

Um, thanks.

Two Brown Pop-Tarts

I thought I was a creature of habit. I have my little ways certain things have to be done, or else I find myself in a state of foggy confusion. I can handle the changes, but it leaves me a little off. I was pretty sure I knew what it was like to be one who has a routine and rules and their own way they want things done.

Then I met the Beast. This child is not just a creature of habit. He is a monster of Must Habit. The stack of books in his bed must be just so. The television volume must be precisely 41 (yeah, that's LOUD). And he must have two brown pop-tarts before his eyes even open in the morning.

Each morning, I gather his clothes, go into his room, and wake him up. And, each morning, his eyes immediately pop open and we have a conversation something like this:

Him: I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: (signing because he doesn't have his hearing aids in yet) You need to go potty.
Him: I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: No answer. Pointing to the bathroom.
Him: (while peeing) I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: Let's put your clothes on.
Him: (naked and putting on his underwear) I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: You need your clothes.
Him: (putting his pants on...backwards to match his underwear) I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: Socks and shoes first.
Him: I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: Let's get your ears on.
Him: I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: (now in voice because he has his ears on) Hey, Beast, would you like two brown pop-tarts?
Him: YES!!! (jumping up and down as his head explodes)

The funny thing is he only ever eats one brown pop-tart. The other remains uneaten in the backseat of the King's car after he drops the Beast off at school. This used to drive me nuts. The car was messy and one brown pop-tart remained uneaten. Now, it's a novelty, a sweet little reminder of just how far my Beast has come. Yes, he is a monster of must habit. But, he can tell me what he wants in perfectly clear voice. And he sticks to his guns. Nothing will stop this child from having his two brown pop-tarts, not even the fact that I may have run out. If he can stand up and say what he wants now as a small child, just imagine what a great man and leader he'll become. That, or he'll have a huge pop-tart belly.

Sweet Nothing in My Ear

CBS aired the newest Hallmark Hall of Fame movie last night. The King and I set our VCR, baked up a few cookies (well, maybe more, but who's really counting?), got cozy on the couch, and settled in for a fun night.

This wasn't just any movie. It was called "Sweet Nothing in My Ear". The basic premise of the movie is that we have a hearing husband who is very devoted to his Deaf wife, and they have a son. The child is born with hearing, but loses it later on. Everyone is okay with his hearing loss until one day a doctor mentions to the father that his son is a prime candidate for a cochlear implant, which would restore the child's hearing in many ways.

The mother, who is Deaf and has Deaf parents and has chosen the Deaf culture and lifestyle is heartbroken over the father's desire to implant his son. The father is conflicted and fears that he'll feel guilt and remorse if he chooses not to do this for his son. He considers all the freedoms the child would have, and the opportunities he may miss out on due to his hearing loss.

Issues that are confronted in the movie are whether or not the child would be cast out of the Deaf community if he were no longer really Deaf, or out of the hearing world because he's not really hearing. Would this make the child some sort of freak? We also get a peek into the mind of a staunchly Deaf man, the wife's father. He is very into his Deaf pride, culture, and even some prejudice.

We get a remarkable glimpse at the gadgets and gizmos available to the Deaf, such as a machine that can be brought to the movie theatre to provide captioning, a portable Video Relay Machine for calling, flashing lights when the door bell rings or the alarm clock goes off, and blackberry-type devices for instant communication and two-way paging.

We see the son's response to wanting to please both his mother and his father. He attempts to use his voice which causes the mother and her side of the family to panic at the thought of him losing his Deafness. To the father, though, this is a sign that there is hope for his son to regain his voice and benefit from a cochlear implant.

So, why do I bother sharing the rundown of some cheesy Hallmark movie? Quite honestly, there were scenes in that movie that were eerily familiar, almost like we've lived them ourselves. And then, there they were on the screen for all the world to see and experience with us.

It's time for me to share the journey we've had with the Beast and his hearing loss and the decisions we've made for him. Over the next several months, prepare for the details to unfold...

I've Had Some Writer's Block

If I'm going to post something, I like to be somewhat whitty about it. Lately, though, I haven't had much to say that's of any interest, let alone even a little bit funny. I've been *gasp!* BORING. Well, maybe not so much boring as I have been busy. I mean, seriously busy. Snort has been sick again, and on breathing treatments. Honestly, if that poor kid could catch a break, it would be great. Regardless of how you look at it, though, this little guy is one happy camper all. the. time.

So, what does a mother do when she's super busy and wants to save time? She decides that ice cream sandwiches are indeed a form of sandwich and that serving them will mean less clean-up because there are no prep dishes. Is she a smart mother that does this? Hmmm....let's see.



Nope! Instead of washing two or three dishes, that lazy mother instead gets to scrub down a pretty little baby girl and everything within a twelve mile radius of her. The moral of the story here, girls? Use vanilla ice cream next time. It's less noticeable.

I went to a meeting of our state's council on Deaf and Hard of Hearing Birth to Three this past week. Before going, I decided I needed an outfit that didn't scream "Yeah, I'm a stay at home mom and I've really let myself go. What's your point?". So, the King gave me some money and sent me on my way. Can I just say I'm HUGE? The clothes that fit me had numbers on them so high that I couldn't even count them. On the way out, I spotted Noah's Ark and tried to get on. They told me I'd sink the ship and sent me on my way. I came home, cried a little, and then had an ice cream sandwich to make me feel better. It would have helped, but the ice cream kept getting all caught up in my many chins. Yeah, I'm a classy lady. What can I say?

In other, more exciting news, Number One turned eight and was old enough to be baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It was a wild day which included three haircuts, a soccer game, some missing underwear, a kid swimming in a baptismal faunt, small children screaming wildly as they ran up and down the aisle in the church, and one beautiful amazing moment as a little boy made a very grown-up choice. The King's parents were here with us for four all-too-short days.











So, that's what I've been up to. Busy, busy, busy, but I couldn't be happier. I have the four greatest kids on the planet, my house is still standing (and is almost big enough to fit my whole butt in it), and there are ice cream sandwiches hidden in my freezer.