Grand Central Station, How May I Help You?

Little Guy is back in the hospital for some breathing issues. It hasn't been fun. This is also my friend, Taffi's, vacation time. She's spent pretty much her whole vacation here in a room with Little Guy and me.

I thought it would be fun to document all the fun that she's had since she's been here. Heaven forbid we ever forget all that's gone on in the last ten days. Ten days! That's it. All of the following things have happened in just ten short days.

1. Five pounds of sugar, seven eggs, half of my spices, and a package of kool-aid mix were all mixed together in the Beast's bed and in the back of his closet.
2. Number One brought her breakfast in bed.
3. We broke the Sabbath to buy Snort an enema. Trust me when I tell you that he really did need it.
4. Taffi got to sit with the Beast in his new summer school classes so I could take three other kids to a dr. appt.
5. Taffi woke up to discover that her roommate (Snort) prefers to sleep in the nude. And he likes to pee the bed.
6. Taffi watched the kids so I could take the Beast to summer school. While she was there, the neighbor's very large dog dug a hole under the fence and came bounding in the back door. Two days in a row.
7. We went to the laundromat and did 35 loads of laundry. Seriously. I have photos to prove it.
8. We grocery shopped with all five children.
9. I set up a massage for Taffi and a luncheon with all the ladies at church so she could get to know them. Instead of going to those, she was with me following an ambulance to Children's so Little Guy could get some oxygen.
10. The chair she got to sleep in was broken, so she slept in the fetal position for a couple of nights until a kind soul brought her a sleeping bag.
11. The King woke up to discover that a pipe exploded and we had a flood in our room and the Beast's room.
12. A hundred different doctors gave us a hundred different explainations as to what is going on with Little Guy. None of them were right.
13. The hospital food gave me the hershey squirts. It made Taffi throw up. We're ordering out now.
14. The Beast's ride home from school didn't work out so well, and he was stranded there 45 minutes after it was all over.
15. Snort had to go stay at Grandma Kelly's because he misses his mommy too much.
16. Pretty tried to have a sleep-over with her friend, Kristen, but missed her Daddy too much. So, she went home.
17. Angela found matches and the butcher knife in the Beast's room. Don't even ask what he planned to do with those. Weird kid.
18. Snort washed some clothes in the toilet. Someone hadn't flushed it before he put the clothes in the toilet. Nice.
19. Pretty put nail polish all over herself, Snort, and the bathroom.
20. Someone (we're pretty sure it was Pretty) put my lipstick all over the dog's backside. I think the King threw the lipstick away for me. At least I hope he did.
21. The King didn't know where the kids' clothes were, so he just bought them whole new sets of clothes.
22. The hospital dryer didn't work, so we had to hang our wet clothes in the shower to dry. We look like white trash.
23. We've nicknamed the pulmonologist Dr. McDreamy. If you met him, you'd say the same.
24. There is a pair of doves that likes mating outside of our window every single morning. One actually crashed into our window once. Apparently she was happy with her husband dove. Since they only do it in the morning, we can only assume they're morning doves.
26. Taffi's flight coming here was about 6 hours late and actually got in at about 1am. Then she got stuck here with me. I went to change her flight home so she could stay longer, and it cost more than the original ticket. So, we just bought a whole new flight thinking she'd get time to play before she leaves. From the sound of things, she'll be going from the hospital to the airport anyway.
27. I think that's it, but I know there's more that people just haven't told me about for fear that my head my explode.

Honestly, if I didn't know better, I'd think I was working for Grand Central Station.