Two Brown Pop-Tarts

I thought I was a creature of habit. I have my little ways certain things have to be done, or else I find myself in a state of foggy confusion. I can handle the changes, but it leaves me a little off. I was pretty sure I knew what it was like to be one who has a routine and rules and their own way they want things done.

Then I met the Beast. This child is not just a creature of habit. He is a monster of Must Habit. The stack of books in his bed must be just so. The television volume must be precisely 41 (yeah, that's LOUD). And he must have two brown pop-tarts before his eyes even open in the morning.

Each morning, I gather his clothes, go into his room, and wake him up. And, each morning, his eyes immediately pop open and we have a conversation something like this:

Him: I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: (signing because he doesn't have his hearing aids in yet) You need to go potty.
Him: I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: No answer. Pointing to the bathroom.
Him: (while peeing) I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: Let's put your clothes on.
Him: (naked and putting on his underwear) I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: You need your clothes.
Him: (putting his pants on...backwards to match his underwear) I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: Socks and shoes first.
Him: I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: Let's get your ears on.
Him: I have two brown pop-tarts now?
Me: (now in voice because he has his ears on) Hey, Beast, would you like two brown pop-tarts?
Him: YES!!! (jumping up and down as his head explodes)

The funny thing is he only ever eats one brown pop-tart. The other remains uneaten in the backseat of the King's car after he drops the Beast off at school. This used to drive me nuts. The car was messy and one brown pop-tart remained uneaten. Now, it's a novelty, a sweet little reminder of just how far my Beast has come. Yes, he is a monster of must habit. But, he can tell me what he wants in perfectly clear voice. And he sticks to his guns. Nothing will stop this child from having his two brown pop-tarts, not even the fact that I may have run out. If he can stand up and say what he wants now as a small child, just imagine what a great man and leader he'll become. That, or he'll have a huge pop-tart belly.