Home Sweet Home

Little Guy and I got home from the hospital on Wednesday. I'm so happy to be home with my little family again. I miss Number One terribly. He's in Utah with the King's parents. I'm anxious to get him home so we can resume some sense of normalcy again...whatever that means anymore.

It's a little bit surreal being home. Honestly, I'm not even sure what to think about it. I spend a whole lot of time monitoring Little Guy's oxygen and planning what needs to be done, but never really doing any of it. Wonderful friends put my house together for me, so I don't have a ton to do, but it's so overwhelming to look at the whole picture and realize just what we've been through and will continue to work through.

The Beast, Pretty, and Snort are in an AMAZING daycare (Thank you, Ms. Buffy!) and they're so happy there. I hate having them away from me, but it's just going to be three days a week. I think it'll be a good thing for them. And it's loving and stable and secure. They need that right now.

The King seems a little more on top of his game having me home. I'm a lot more on top of my game being home, so I guess we're even. I never want to be apart from him for that long ever again. There is no more lonesome feeling than knowing your mate is so close but still so far away and you can't just reach out and let him hold you.

I have a full heart when I look around and realize just how blessed our family is. Friends have brought meals, redone our damaged home, come here and been away from their own families to help us out, prayed for us, fasted for us, and cried with us. There are just no words to descirbe the way it feels to suddenly realize just how very loved we are. They say times of crisis show you who your real friends are. I had no idea how many we really had. I can honestly say I'm not often speechless. Seeing how blessed we are leaves me speechless, though. There are just no words to describe it all.

So, I'm home. My kids are home with me (accept Number One, who will be home soon). I love them. I love sitting at the table going nuts trying to get them to sit still to eat. I love hearing them giggle together. I love watching Snort gently place his head on Little Guy's lap and stroke his baby fine hair while saying his name over and over and over. I love looking at them peacefully sleeping in their tiny beds at night and trying to imagine what they're dreaming about. I love knowing that I made them. For all their quirks and faults and silly little unqiue behaviors, I made them. Me. And the King. They are direct results of a deep and eternal love. And they're mine. And I love knowing that my Heavenly Father is there to help me love and care for and nurture them. I love knowing that He loves them so much that He can't and won't let me fail.

We have a long road ahead of us for Little Guy. He won't have it easy. But, really, who does have it easy? We all have a story, don't we? For Number One, it's a story of learning that being the oldest has its perks as well as its downfalls. It's a story of learning patience and surviving being the "guinea pig" for parents who haven't had any practice before him.

For the Beast, it's a story of beating the odds. It's a story of looking opposition straight in the eye and defying it. And, it's a story of learning his place in the world. In a world where "outside the box" isn't always accepted, the Beast will have to find a place for himself. And he will. That's what he does best.

Pretty's story will be one of learning to be the only girl with four brothers, of learning to be a lady and still play with the men. I can't really predict the chapters of her story, but I know she'll grow to have stories to tell.

As for Snort, the story will be one of overcoming life's obstacles almost from day one. For one with such poor eyesight, he always manages to see the beauty in everyone with perfect vision. His will be a story of love.

And then there's Little Guy. Living his story will cause him to build muscle. He'll be the one who tells the story of walking five miles uphill both ways in snow and ice in the middle of July. And it may not even be that big of an exaggeration.

The greatest part of being home is that we're all here together again. We get to pick up and continue living our stories together as One. I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for the messes on the floors, the handprints on the windows and walls and tables and...well, you get the idea. I'm grateful for the noisy voices running from one end of the house to the other and the science projects happening in my toilet and bathtub. I'm grateful for these children. Little Guy being so sick and forcing me to be away from my children has reminded me how grateful I am.

And, so with all the noise and messes and fingerprints, it is what it is. It's home sweet home. And I'm glad to be here.