Dear Mr. Bus Driver:

Dear Mr. Bus Driver:

I realize your job is probably less than pleasant. I can only imagine that driving around with dozens of kids who have been trapped behind desks all day and would like nothing better than to hijack the bus and take over the world in Pinky and the Brain style can cause you to be rather grumpy.

Still, Mr. Bus Driver, surely you realize that comes with the job, right? I'm sure you read the job description and understood that you'd also be dealing with parents, right? So, why then, Mr. Bus Driver, are you being such a grumpy bucket to me? After all, I am the one who makes it possible for you to have one less unruly ants-in-his-pants-noisy-running-like-a-chicken-on-speed-with-its-head-cut-off kid. Rather than looking at me like I'm the bane of your existence, how about a smile once in a while? I know. That's a lot to ask. Seriously, though. Whatever it is that has gotten your panties into that much of a wad is surely something that will pass eventually. Problems are like bad gas. They really stink, but eventually it all subsides.

Why am I writing this to you, Mr. Bus Driver? Well, it's about the "yellow form" you needed me to sign and give back to you. Yes, I do know you gave it to me Wednesday. When you came to drop the Beast off Thursday, you asked for it and I told you I had it inside. You told me to just send it to school with him and you'd get it that way. Friday morning, I saw to it that it was in his backpack. Just like you said. Today, when you asked me for it and I said I'd put it in his backpack, you shook your head at me, threw your arms in the air, and drove off like I was some idiot. Mr. Bus Driver, let me just clarify. I am not the idiot in this situation. YOU told me to put it in his backpack. I'm not suggesting that you are the idiot here. I'm just sayin'...well, you get the idea.

So, please Mr. Bus Driver. Dislodge your panties. They're wadded far too high up there. Rest assured that I have read the student bus riding agreement, and I do know that my child may not climb out the roof escape, that my other children may not board the bus at any time during drop-off, and that it's not okay for my children to climb out the window of a moving bus. Rest assured, Mr. Bus Driver. All is well.

Thanks!
-Me