Saturday, January 15, 2011

Note to Self: Never Profess to Feel "In Control"

If I ever make the mistake of saying out loud that I like the way things are going and that it's starting to feel like I'm in control of whatever needs to be done, the universe plays its part in putting me back in my place. I must have made that mistake at some point this past week because the universe has effectively kicked my proverbial butt. Hard.

I'm not sure how much poop I cleaned up this week, but it was a lot. There's the usual poop that Liam likes to try and dig out of his diaper and gets caught under his nails. For some reason, that poop doesn't really tend to bother me so much anymore. Maybe it's because so many of my nose hairs are fried that it no longer smells quite as bad. I will admit to being a bit bugged by the poop in the tub tonight. Liam was the last to climb into the tub. I guess he wanted more room because he immediately pooped which caused lots of floaties and some fabulous smearing on the bottom of the tub. CJ, Rachel, and Drezden got out ofthat tub faster than I've ever seen them get out before. I really appreciated the opportunity he gave me to scrub the tub a little more this week.

I also loved the discovery of the fact that someone is clearly peeing in my bathroom sink. I'm not 100% sure who is doing it, but I have it narrowed down to four family members and the cat and dog don't count. I suppose I wouldn't be so bothered by the pee in the sink if I hadn't discovered it right after I sat on the toilet and discovered that someone opted to leave just one square of toilet paper and not mention the need to replace the roll. Something about sitting with your pants down and a desperate need to wipe, but nothing available makes the fact that there are clearly urine stains in the sink seem much worse.

In case the copious amounts of poop in the house weren't enough to put me in my place, the piles and piles of laundry also helped. I swear my laundry has a mind of its own and just keeps reproducing itself in the event that I sleep. Well, that and the fact that CJ, Drezden, and Liam always seem to wet their beds on the same night. That's swell. Thanks, kids. I needed five extra loads of bedding to wash before even starting in on the regular clothes.

Then there's my sense of time management. I used to be so on top of this. Not anymore. Nope. The universe has seen to it that I am one big fat walking brain fart. This week alone, I missed my scheduled time to help in CJ's class, forgot to have CJ do his homework for TWO nights (twice as bad as just missing one night), and have managed to put Aiden a full two weeks behind on his science fair project. My cleaning routine has been flipped upside down, and somehow cleaning all day still yields a messy house when I go to bed at night. How the heck does this happen??!?!?

Now let's talk about my cat. My sweet angelic kitty that can do no wrong has turned into some sort of demon spawn. TWICE this week she got herself locked in my room and POOPED IN MY BED!!! TWICE!!!!! Is she looking for a one-way ticket to the animal shelter????? Have I not loved her enough? Is she mad because she found out that other cats get Fancy Feast while she is often forced to settle for dry food? Did I fail to spend enough time scratching behind her cute little ears? Or is it something bigger? Is it just the universe reminding me once again that I am not in control of anything?

There were other things, too. We had a snow day on the one day of the week that I should have been able to clean. Did I mention the extra laundry? Oh, I did? Well, there was also lots of extra floor mopping compliments of extra snow. (And admittedly some amazing memories with pictures soon to come). My computer has gone wonky. My dishes seem dirtier than usual. I missed the recycling truck and am stuck with tons of recyclable stuff for another whole week. I'm sure there's more. (In fact I had some really really big stuff happen, too, but can't share it here as this is a blog to make you laugh and the really big stuff is surely enough to make anyone cry).

So here I sit. I'm a great big human brain fart who has learned many things this week, but the most important thing of all seems to be that I am most certainly NOT the one in charge. Point taken. Now can we lay off on the poop and laundry just a little?

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