Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Alien Invasion

A few months ago, I got a call from one of my best friends back in Texas telling me that her family and she had decided that they wanted to spend their family vacation with my children so that Byron and I could go away alone for a weekend.  I thought she was crazy, but took her up on the offer.  So, this past weekend Byron and I went to see my family in Connecticut (an entirely separate blog post all of its own).

We left last Thursday morning feeling confident that we'd come back to find our children just as we'd left them.  After all, what could really happen in just one weekend, right? I know. Famous last words coming from me.  We've been home for just over 24 hours and I've come to the conclusion that things are nothing like they were before we left.  I thought I'd left the children in good hands, but let's be honest. How could a caregiver not notice that five children had been abducted by aliens and replaced with look-alikes?  I mean, Liam did paint with his poop two times while they were here, so maybe the aliens slipped in during the clean up and took the kids while the sitters weren't watching. It's entirely possible.

Let me just tell you what I mean.
1.  During dinner last night, all of the kids asked for napkins. I thought I'd stopped buying napkins because they usually  use napkins to spit the food they don't want into.  I guess there were some left over, so I let them each have one.  (The food wasn't SO BAD that they'd need to spit into more than one napkin).  Much to my surprise, the children put the napkins in their laps.  Yes, it's true.  It's like they were trying to be civilized or something.  (Well, except for Liam. He ate his  napkin). That was only the first clue something was up.

2.  After dinner, I asked them to please work as a team to help clear the table, sweep the floors, wipe down the table, and pick up any stray toys.  Warning:  What I am about to say may be disturbing for some readers. Feel free to stop here if you have a weak heart and are unable to handle too much of a shock.  Are you ready for this?  Okay, here goes.  They ALL did their cleaning chores without arguing to its completion without me needing to ask a second time. Yes, this does include Liam.  There is NO WAY this could possibly have happened without an alien abduction!

3.  Right before bed, they all gathered to read scriptures and say family prayer.  Granted they were rambunctious, but they were still all there.  Even Stinky Liam sat still for a minute or two.

4.  When I sent them to bed last night, they went!  I know.  I know.  The horror of it all, right?  Five children all in bed at nearly the time I'd sent them there.  By this time, I was breathing into a brown paper bag and calling the Area 51 people.  My poor alien-probed children!!!!

5.  This morning when I went to get them up, I told them to pick up their rooms and make their beds. They did it!!!  Further, they did it without any complaint and correctly.  Drezden even cried a little because Liam messed with his hard work and left a lump in the bed.  Making their beds?!?!?  How could this be?!?!?!?!?!

6.  I took all five of them on a three hour WalMart trip today.  This trip should have earned its own blog posts detailing horrific incidents involving weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Instead, it was pleasant. All five were well-behaved and patiently worked with me to get school supplies and groceries.  How is this even possible!??!

7.  When we came home from the grocery store, I told them that they each had to take two bags at a time in the house until everything was brought in. I also specified that they'd need to put them in the kitchen for me to more easily unload.  I only had to bring in three or four bags by myself.  Not one kid even complained about it!!!  By this point, I was practically hysterical just imagining what they must have been enduring while the aliens were trying to replace them.

8.  At lunch, they sat nicely and then cleaned up after themselves.  After lunch, they sat quietly in the living watching tv (the FIRST time it's even been on all day) and building legos as a team.

Even as I write this, I still can't imagine how it could be that aliens managed to get in here, take the children, and replace them with decoys while my friend wasn't watching.  I hope it wasn't painful for the kids and that they are all okay up there in outer space while these strange little decoys take their places.  And, I have to be honest.  I'm nervous to let my friend come back and babysit again. What if the aliens come back and give me back the children I had to start with??  These decoys are GREAT!! Why would I ever want to run the risk of them being switched back?!!?

Oh, and a HUGE THANK YOU to Anne-Marie, Jeff, Jordan, Jackson, and Samantha for being such amazing friends!!!!

1 comment:

Kayla and Josh said...

Wow!! You have an amazing friend!! lol I don't know what she did...but i'd invite her back again! Lol