Showing posts with label the beast. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the beast. Show all posts

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Onion Cake







I think I've mentioned that The Beast has been known to adopt friends as he sees fit. He doesn't tend to adopt friends his own age, but instead chooses friends who are much older than him to befriend. Really, it's very sweet. He has this uncanny ability to choose people who probably need him in their lives as much as he needs them in his.
One of his original "picks" was Jim and Linda. They go to church with us and have two grown sons. For whatever reason, CJ gets along great with Jim and Linda and he's pretty sure they are truly his adopted grandparents. And, crazy as it sounds, they've reciprocated the love. Go figure. He's spent a few nights at their house, usually at his own request. He is a pro at melting Linda's heart with his big brown eyes, freckly cheeks, and a couple of well spent tears. She just can't bear to break his little heart and tell him no. (I, on the other hand, am apparently like the Grinch. I tell him no all the time. Somehow it almost never phases me one bit).
Anyway, I digress. The purpose of this post is to talk about onion cake, right? Jim had a birthday this week. It wasn't just any birthday. He turned...well, I don't know if it's kind to say...ummm...put it this way, if you multiply the Beast's age time ten, you know how old Jim is.
The Beast came home from school, and I told him he could call and sing Happy Birthday over the phone. This immediately brought on a host of tears. What?? What did I say? You see, there was no envelope in the mail inviting the Beast to Jim's party. I explained that there was no party for Jim. WHAT?!?!? Oh the horror!!!! No party?? You can't have a birthday without a party!! The Beast was completely horrified at such a thought. Still, he called Jim and fought back the tears as he sang the birthday song. Then he asked Jim what kind of cake he was having. Jim and Linda just happened to be at a restaurant having a bloomin' onion, so he told the Beast he didn't get a cake for his birthday, but an onion instead. There are no words to adequately describe the look on the Beast's face at that moment. I'm pretty sure therapy is going to be required to help him get over the post traumatic stress disorder he's developed just imagining such a thing.
He insisted that Jim needed a cake. Since it appeared that Jim likes onions, the Beast wanted an onion cake. For some strange reason, those kind of cakes mixes are hard to find at your local grocery store. Go figure. So, the Beast settled on a chocolate cake mix. (Thank you, Jim, for telling him you like chocolate. It could have been an rough night for all of us if he'd insisted on getting the onion.)
We brought the mix home, and The Beast immediately did all of his chores, ate his dinner, cleared his place and let me know he was ready to bake the cake. I did the measuring, but he and Pretty did the dumping and mixing. We let the cake cool overnight, and I let the Beast get up this morning and decorate it before church.
He was very precise with every movement he made as he decorated this morning. I'm pretty sure he used every cake topping I had in my cabinet, all the toppings he purchased last night, and still wanted to add more "of whatever you have in there, Mom", but I discouraged him from using the seasoning shakers to add to the cake. I haven't seen the Beast so proud of himself in a long time as he was this morning marching into church just sure he'd saved the day for Jim's birthday. With all the toppings on that cake, I'm confident Jim and Linda are soon to die of insulin shock, but it's the thought that counts. Right?

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Gary the Lizard

I was cleaning the boys' bathroom the other day and discovered a pet that I didn't know we owned. As I reached behind the toilet to scrub it, I was horrified to discover a gecko lizard. He was just a little lizard, but was still an uninvited guest. I can only assume he was trying to sell me Geico insurance, but I'm not currently in the market for insurance. I tried to get him to leave, and to my complete horror, the thing detached its tail and scurried away. The worst part was that the remaining tail parts kept quivering for several minutes after the lizard was gone. I know. Disgusting, right?

Fast forward to the next morning. The Beast woke up and told me he had a new pet. "It's a lizard, and we played chase all night long, Mom!". Hmmmm. Really?? I figured he'd just heard the story from the day before and was playing on it. Honestly, if some poor lizard ever ventured into the Beast's room, it was not going to be a pretty sight. There is NO place for anything to hide in there. The Beast went on to tell me that he'd caught his lizard, now named Gary according to him, by the tail. Then, the lizard jumped out of its tail and ran away. GROSS!! My kid is telling me he stood there holding the tail of his dear friend, Gary.

Anyway, the Beast has been very bothered because he hasn't been able to find Gary for the past couple days. So, he's been praying that Gary and all of his friends and family could come back to see him in his room. He prayed about it with us over dinner, prayed about it at church in his Sunday school class, and more. He even asked if we could post "Lost Lizard" signs all over town. (Can you even imagine that!?!?) Tonight, the Beast's prayers were answered. "Mom! Come here! Gary is died!!!" I got up and ran to his room where I discovered a very dead, very large gecko lizard-minus the tail.

Rest in peace, Gary the Lizard.