Monday, March 10, 2008

My Life Monday March 10th

It's My Life Monday again. This week's assignment was to choose a picture, and describe it. All week long, I've been snapping a TON of pictures as my mind spun with what I'd say about them. Nothing quite fit, though...until today.

The king needed his prescription filled again. So, again, I decided to take all four kids to Target with me to pick it up. After my last trip, I was just sure things could only get better for me. Ummm....I was wrong.

Just as I pulled into the parking lot, I noted a very familiar odor. Pretty's laxative apparently had finally kicked in, and in full force. I figured I'd just change her diaper and be on my merry way. Then I pulled her out of her carseat. There was poop everywhere. This was no small poop. It was enough poop to clog even a turbo flush toilet, and it was everywhere.

I loaded everyone into the buggy, and rushed straight to the family restroom. I had Number One stay with Snort, and brought the Beast in with Pretty and me. Anyone who has ever been in any public restroom knows that the acoustics are good, and sound is carried everywhere. The Beast was kind enough to give a very loud play by play of the whole event. "Look! Poop is falling off Pretty!" "Eeeewwww! She smells bad". And, my personal favorite: "How did she get corn in there?" I wanted to die.

I wasn't bright enough to bring a plastic bag into the bathroom with me, so I had to hold the poopy clothes in my hand while I dragged my naked daughter across the store to ask for one. The checker (who might have been 18 years old) had a horrified look in his eyes as he quickly gave me the bag. I think he was secretly wishing he had a twenty foot pole to pass it to me with.

I left Number One in the store with the babies while I ran to the parking lot with the Beast to put the clothes away. Luckily, I had gotten a really good parking spot, so I was only gone for thirty seconds. My next order of business was to find some clothes for Pretty to wear. It is, after all, still winter and my 19 month old is sitting in a shopping cart wearing only a diaper.

As I walked through the store, I got the usual glares. I couldn't help myself, and caught myself saying "She really did come with clothes. I swear." Honestly, it would be much easier if I would just carry a shovel with me everywhere I go. That way, I could dig a hole to crawl in a lot quicker.

I scoured the little girl department, and finally settled on a little dress with matching bloomers. I ran as fast as one can run with four kids in tow and purchased the dress. Immediately, I put it on her.

It only took me another ten minutes to do what I had originally gone in there to do in the first place. As soon as I finished, I made a bee line for the door. On my way out, I ran into an acquaintance who works for CPS, and took a deep breath. I can only imagine the consequences that would have come had she seen my naked daughter in the store.

Anyway, the picture above is of Pretty in her new dress holding the bag containing her poopy clothes. Hopefully next time I decide to take the whole crew to Target with me, I'll look at that picture and think again.


Goat Girl said...

Wow. I love how kids think they are helpful when pointing out the obvious in poop. Greta was watching and pointing out the color of Andrea's poop while I scooped it out of the bath and into the toilet last week. I kept telling her to stop looking in the potty and go sit in the door. It was bad enough that I had to look at it as much as I did. I didn't want more of a visual.

heidi and tom said...

Uh, all I can say is that I will NEVER, NEVER, again complain about any of my "traumatic" trips to Target. You win, hands down!! Hey, btw, what is that reference you commented about on my blog to check for growth milestones? I'd like more info. please!

mpelle said...

Hi Aimee,

I think you better stay away from Target !!! I think your jinked !!!

Love you, Aunt Mary

Rachelle said...

Oh my gosh that is hilarious! I love the blow by blow and the corn!

Anonymous said...

Poor Aimee. I feel for you. We need to make Target Trips on Tuesday and Thursday mornings so I can go and help you. !!!!