Friday, November 21, 2008

I am Thoroughly Humiliated, But You Can Laugh at My Expense

***Warning. Some of this may be rated PG-13...at least.***

My friend, Buffy, has been a little down lately. On her blog, she noted that she was feeling better because she got some good text messages. I decided to be a smart aleck and send her a REALLY good text message. You know, the type that's totally off-color, but sure to make her laugh her adorable little hiney off.

I got her cell number and texted something to the affect of "You need great sex. It releases endorphins which will make you happy." But it was slightly more...um...colorful than that. She texted back that it'd been a while and she needed it. I replied that she needed to go to the local novelty shop and get something to make it REALLY worth her time. Being the great friend that I am, I gave specific details of what she should get.

The text conversation went back and forth for a while, and then she says to me "Am I being punked? Who is this??". I replied with just my first name because, really, how many people with my name and spelling do you know? She replies, "Hi, Aimee. My name is Marc. I think you have the wrong number, but you've made my day anyway." OH. MY. GOSH!!!! I apologized profusely and told him I was off to find a rock to die in. Now. You have to understand that this was a VERY colorful conversation including details such as batteries and remote controls. Yeah. Don't ask.

About an hour later, he texted me again that he'd be at the local bar nursing his tequila if I wanted to stop by. Apparently I'm intriguing. I replied that I'm extremely happily married, but would let my local single friends know. That was the end of that. Honestly, I'm sure he'd have been surprised to see a very pregnant mother of four with two cats, two dogs, a turtle, and some baby fingerprints on her butt arrive at the bar. I know. I'm quite a catch.

In my horror, I checked again to be sure I had the right number. That would be a big fat NO. I was one stupid number off. Yeah. I'm dying inside. Go ahead. It's okay to laugh at me. The King is beyond laughing. I think he's just glad it wasn't him.

9 comments:

Mattsmom said...

WOW. I am SO SORRY to laugh this hard at your expense! HILARIOUS! I might go into labor from laughter. Thanks for sharing!

Amy said...

You are brave to post it on your blog!! And I'm LOL all over again. You know I love ya right?

Sonja said...

That. Is. AWESOME! I'm just dying right now, thanks for the laugh :D

terramisu said...

Oh Aimee! That is hilarious! You Rock!!!

Sarah said...

LOL!!! My favorite is the baby hand prints on your butt! That is great imagery! ahh, thanks for the laugh. :)

CareBearMommy said...

Aimee... this story is priceless, hilarious, and very well-written. Honestly, I don't know how you survived in that frightening moment of realization that you had been texting the wrong person. Something like this would make a great commercial for a cell phone. Thanks for sharing!

taffi said...

heck, I'm still laughing the next day.

Rich said...

It could have been worse. Check this out:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081122/ap_on_fe_st/odd_nude_photos_mcdonald_s

~V~ said...

And that's the reason I love you soooo much!! bwaahaaahaaaa