My Shopping Trip With the Beast

I had taken an inventory of what clothes everyone had in preparation for the impending school year. Most of the kids have everything they'd need. Number One got a whole new wardrobe while he was visiting his grandparents in UT, so I didn't need to worry too much about him. Snort and Little Guy don't really need a whole lot, so I also didn't worry about them much, either.

Pretty is quite the little girl when it comes to her wardrobe, so she actually had enough to work with. She'll need a few thinsg here and there, but nothing huge. I usually shop for her (and really all my kids) off the clearance rack. It works well, saves money, and allows me to buy more for less.

So, it was just the Beast who really needed clothes. Not a ton, but definately something. Pants and shorts were needed as well as a few shirts. I decided that he and I should have a date of our own. So, off we went around seven tonight. Four and a half hours later, I returned. Here are the top ten things I learned from the Beast tonight.

10. You might as well start off at Wal-Mart. You'll wind up there in the end anyway.
9. Manequins don't move because they're not real people. You don't have to be offended when they don't talk to you because, again, they're not real people. No, you don't have to ask permission to pet the manequin's dog. No, the dog is not real, either.
8. Seeing the door to the backroom at Old Navy wide open can lead to sheer horror at the fact that there are "body parts" hanging all over the place. No, those aren't dead bodies. They're manequin parts. Yes, they're building people back there. But not real people.
7. Shopping for clothes becomes far less interesting if you go to stores that keep toys right by the clothing department.
6. If you tell a 5 year old what size his sister is, he'll assume every single item in her size in the store is meant for her. When you get to the check out line, you'll find an awful lot of clothes for her that you didn't put into the basket. You'll weed out what you think is all of it, but you'll likely find at least two things in your bag that you didn't put there when you get home.
5. Buying books instead of clothes is really fun, especially when your mom almost never lets you do it.
4. The Clearance rack is a gift from the heavens above. Seriously.
3. Underwear that doesn't have pictures of Scooby Doo and other famous cartoon character may as well not exist. It's not nearly as worthy of being worn on your butt as underwear that does have pictures.
2. If your 5 year old poops in a public bathroom, he'll proudly announce it to everyone when he comes back out. And he'll be loud about it.
1. Four and a half hours of one on one time with Mom isn't nearly good enough if it doesn't end with Mom reading you that great new book you talked her into buying for you.

Don't get me wrong, folks. I learned a LOT more than just those ten things. It was a great trip. In an answer to the question I hear most, I can now confirm for you that NO, the Beast does not stop talking or asking questions. Ever. He told me Sid the Science Kid on PBS told him to keep asking questions. Great. I'll thank Sid later.

I also discovered that the Beast can read. We had an idea that he'd taught himself, but listening to him read every shirt logo, clearance sign, cereal box, and whatever else came into his path confirmed it. The kid is a genius. Bless his teacher this year. She's in for a fun ride.

So, now that it's tomorrow already, I'm finally settling in for the night. I should be tired, but I'm still just enjoying the fun I had with him. He was everywhere, into everything, talking non-stop, and just a delight to spend quality time with. He may be a Beast. But he's my Beast, and I wouldn't trade him for any other Beast in the world.